currently i live with my father and after 2 years i am close to killing him. we butt heads over every thing. now with in the past week i finalyy got a job but it only goes for 6 months.
would it be a good idea to move out even for just 4 months?
my father wants me to stay but i honestly grow to hate him every day.
i see him was weak and pathedic and i just cat stand him any more.
2007-04-08 13:13:20 · 17 answers · asked by strangequestions 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you guys should try to work things out - he is after all your father and you don't get another one. Try to save the relationship - it will be quite worth it.
2007-04-08 13:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Kim H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years! Wow! Job or not you should have been gone long ago. Now that you do have a job then get out before you butt more than just heads. Once you're away you can figure out how to find another job so you can remain on your own. Whatever though, this is an explosive situation that will escalate and worsen in time resulting in irreversible dire consequences. Once you are away from him your relationship with him will improve greatly. After all he's still your father no matter how deep you say the animosity has festered. Don't shut him out by being swayed about how you are feeling now. Get on your own and start making mature decisions for yourself instead of being blinded by the negativity that has enveloped you like up to now.
2007-04-08 13:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to get along with your father. Remember you only have one father and unfortunately he will not be around forever. Talk to him and see how you can change things so that the two of you can get along better. Why do you see him as weak and pathetic? If he is having problems maybe you could try to be supportive of him. If you don't get along because you have not had a job and this one only lasts for 6 months then maybe you could try and find something else if not now then have one lined up for when this job is over. If you feel you need to move out then that is your choice but I really think you should discuss your feelings with your father and try to sort it all out either way.
2007-04-08 13:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are a teenager, you could move out and live with another relative. You need to control your anger and instead see that you will argue with him about almost anything because you detest him so much these days. Frankly, I'm wondering why he wants you to stay. You don't sound like a pleasant person to share a home with.
Even though you despise him, he loves you. He probably is worried that if you left, you'd have to learn how to live on your own with probably very limited funds. This is parental concern. If he felt you were ready to be responsible for yourself and not get hurt making some huge mistakes, he'd back you on your quest for independence.
I hope your remark about being close to killing him was an angry outburst that has no meaning in real life. You use the word 'hate' and he's your dad who, as I said, loves you. You can choose to get along with him just as you can choose whatever you want to see in him - weak and pathetic instead of caring.
If I were your father, I'd reluctantly let you go. You have to learn to grow up and you're not learning it by being a hateful son in the home that gives you shelter and protection. I can see you being somewhere with roommates and deciding that you despise one of the roommates because he's sloppy and ugly for hate another because he's fat and greedy. You're not learning that it's a necessary skill to learn to get along in this world. You can't even do it a home; I doubt you can manage it on the outside.
2007-04-15 20:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The less I see or talk to my parents the better we get along so I know how you feel.
There are 2 ways of looking at this...
1) Suck it up and deal with your father and save all the money you can. Then use that for a down paymenet on a home.
2) If your that much stronger than your dad move out now...You should not have a problem living on your own.
2007-04-15 18:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by Peter Griffen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without divulging your age, I assume you are under 25 easily. If this is the case you need to (enjoy) and save as much as possible, because when you go out in the real world you will want to be prepared, which is probably why he is saying for you not to go. He is looking out for you. So, as hard is it is find yourself some common ground to learn to deal with your differences and show respect for what hand e is giving you as well. A simple thank you goes a long way, just don't be disrespectful. Periodically, make an effort to show him that you are greatful and maybe even he will lighten up on you when you think he migt wale on you.
good luck try to stay as long as he will let you, then you wukk know were you two stand when you do leave.
2007-04-15 10:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by yourguessisasgoodasyours 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's concerned about your future and perhaps aggravates you becasue hes on your a-s all the time as to what your plans are.
Why are you thinking "small time"? You got a temporary job. Are you serious when you suggest moving out during that time???? You should be looking for a full time job while you're working that one.
If you see no light in your future I suggest you take an opportunity like I did. Join the military. You'll have a life and career. If you only enlist for four years and get out after four instead of reenlisting at least you'll have 4 years military and schooling for a resume.
Seeing a recruiter wont help.
explore your options.
You think your dad wants his grown son with him for the rest of your adult life? He probably insist you stay so you keep out of trouble. He's supposed to be enjoying his privacy once his kids are grown. Ever stop to think He may be just as aggravated however worried about what path your on?
2007-04-14 10:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by triciasdish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a job so why not ride it out. Why move out for 4 months and pay rent and then have to move back in. At least being at your job it will give you some time away and may make things better. Also try sitting down and writing a list of things that you don`t like about your father and try working through them and see if they are really that bad. REMEMBER HE IS YOUR FATHER AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE YOU`LL EVER HAVE.
2007-04-08 13:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by mammafran77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mention within the last 2 years you butt heads with your father , well if you haven't been working for that period of time I could see why !!!!!!!!
Maybe now with working , it could change and you wont always be together and things may improve .
Your father was good enough for you before ,so stay and see how it goes .
2007-04-14 03:38:07 · answer #9 · answered by dolores h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are old enough to be on your own, you should devise a plan to move out on your own. If you just move out without a plan of how to stay out, you will probably be right back even more resentful. No matter how you view your dad, he is the only one you have. Once you move away, your relationship will get better. My dad used to say, "When you get grown, you need to get gone." It was true. If you are not old enough to be on your own, ask if you can live with a family member for awhile. While you are still there with your dad, find a way to respect him and his home, and keep your goal in mind. Also, pray and ask God for help with your relationship with your dad.
2007-04-15 09:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by OTOTW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you're a tad spoiled.
No, don't move out. Learn to get along with your father. He's provided room and board for you. You are probably frustrated because you want your own way and he has rules for you to follow. If you feel that some of his rules are obsolete, talk to him about it. He may be willing to negotiate, but not if you yell or curse. Prepare with facts not emotions.
2007-04-08 13:18:43 · answer #11 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋