to add a laugh to your day? Here are some of my favorites....
1. Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
2. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
3. All men are idots....I married their king.
4. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
5. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
6. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
7. Jesus is coming! Look busy!
8. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
9. Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
10. Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
11. Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
12. Honk if you want to see my finger.
2007-04-08 11:56:37 · 6 answers · asked by Starscape 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Haha!
Hey, #1 is just my style! Wonder where I could get a REAL bumper sticker which says that?
2007-04-08 12:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by Husker41 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hehe couple good ones, more like those signs you keep around the office/cubicle
How to maintain a healthy level of sanity…
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyn...
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Reply to everything someone says with, “That's what you think.”
Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
Dont use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather then walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, “If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3.”
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Call 999 and ask if 999 is for emergencies.
Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!”
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “Run for your lives, they're loose!”
Tell your boss, “It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do.”
Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
Every time you see a broom, yell, “Honey, your mother is here!”
2007-04-08 12:17:23 · answer #2 · answered by ceesteris 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good and funny.
2007-04-08 12:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of them are k
2007-04-08 12:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by shizzle my fizzle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol....well i dunno wat the question is but i like numberz 5 7 9 10 and 11 lol..thx! XD
2007-04-08 12:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by xXSxLxIxCxExRXx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hehe...where did u get these??.....theyre funny! i luv them!!!!!!!!!!!(i luv you!) lol no>.<......idk you......................................
2007-04-08 15:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by 4narf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋