I have been divorced for a few years now. My parents are pressuring me to get resettled. They keep saying that I look too much at other married couples and compare their lives to mine.
I do feel lonely and can not talk to my parents much. I am taking my time finding someone though.
I am currently living with my parents. Its difficult dealing with them because they tell me their true feelings all of the time. They say "I don't know what I want to do with myself" and that they "can read my mind."
They say that if I really wanted to I would have been resettled by now. They want to find someone for me and I don't want them to.
Then I get pressure from my ex-husband that my child is not doing well. Its so confusing. I am getting hammered from every side.
My daughter is 14 and she lives in another state. I gave her Dad sole physical and legal custody during the divorce. Now he says I am responsible for her not doing well.
2007-04-08 09:33:25 · 6 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The worst thing I can see here is that you live with your parents . You are bringing most of this on to yourself by letting them see what you do 24/7 . You are better of to live in a one room shack then to live under their roof .It's none of their busyness what you decide to do . Do you work like you should ? Do you contribute to the household like you should? Then what is the problem here . You just let anybody tell you what's 'Good' for you .
If you gave your x-husband full custody , your daughter is foremost his responsibility . You have very little input if she is not always with you . Do you pay part of her support ? That's about all you can do when you are far away .
Your x is passing the buck to whitewash himself . He found out how hard it is to have a teenager and no mother .
By the way, nobody can read your mind and your parents are not much help . Try to ignore it and move out .
2007-04-08 09:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would really help to know why you gave your ex husband custody of your child. Then I would know what you are dealing with inside yourself. Your parents are obviously worried about you and maybe a little disappointed that you are back when they were on their own after raising their children. Your ex could be blaming you for your daughters problems because you are not in her life. Get on the phone, talk to her and move out of your parents' home.
2007-04-08 11:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by Chloe 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cannot deal with your parents until you deal with yourself. You do not necessarily need to find another mate but you do need to be in your daughters live. Take one day at a time and think about what or where you want to be in 5 years and take it from there. I do not understand your reasonings for giving sole custody of your daughter to yoru ex, but you need to put yourself in her shoes and be a mother towards her once you get yourself in order. You need to tell your parents that you will take control of your life and at this time you do not want a mate.
2007-04-08 09:42:23 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi... it sounds like you have a lot of emotional baggage, and your parents don't seem to know how to be supportive.
i think that, if you can afford to get out of your parents' home, do it for YOU....(maybe you can find a roommate, if push comes to shove?
your parents are not YOU and have no idea what you want or need in life. i think it's a good idea to take your time about "settling down"... it's not real smart to settle for just anyone -- and sometimes we're just not ready. whatever your reasons, they belong to YOU and it's no one else's business.
I think you can politely remind your parents while you appreciate their help, you have to make your own decisions. and that you don't need advice unless you ask for it.
perhaps you can contact your child more often -- and ask her what is going on in her life. let her know you care, and perhaps she will open up to you. i understand that living far from our children can be frustrating for them and us. I've also been in this situation.
i hope it works out... i don't really have great advice, but wanted you to know i read this, and that i hope you find your way, and that things work out for you. take care of YOU.. hugz
2007-04-08 09:43:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe relocting your self closer to your daughter would help with everything. You wouldnt be living with your parents, and you would be closer to your daughter to see her more and help out with her. She is at the age where everything in her life is changing and sometimes it is hard to talk to a man(her dad) about it. She needs her mom to help her.
2007-04-08 09:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by moonshadow45001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out and get your own place. That'll put a stop to having to hear all of this day in and day out.
2007-04-08 09:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋