My mom has been gone about 5 yrs now. My stepmom always calls me her daughter and her my mom on introductution. She has been good to me to some extent, but feel I might betray the bond I have with my mom even though she is gone if I did so. Any ideas?
2007-04-08 06:52:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
just as a detail, I am 34, so as a parent figure, she is just a figure really. I am independent
2007-04-08 07:16:54 · update #1
I am sorry, I should have been more clear in my ?, my mom passed 5 yrs ago and she was the main support I had over the yrs.
I thank all of you for your ideas and will take them to heart.
At the end, I guess my mom sacraficed so much and to let her keep her title of mom is not such a big deal, but just tears at my heart when I think of allowing another to embrace it without the same. I think we all have only one mom, and some may be biological, others not, you know who you are talking about when you use the word mom.
2007-04-08 10:15:49 · update #2
I think it's really about what you are comfortable with. If you would rather call her by her first name, or something else - that's appropriate too. If you would prefer she introduce you as your step-daughter, you should talk about it with her or talk to your dad about how you are feeling. It's okay and normal to not want to call your step-mom "mom" out of respect for your real mother. If you are comfortable with it, then that is definitely okay too! I think your real mom would like knowing that there is someone in your life that has taken on the mother figure and that you feel comfortable calling "mom." This is really about you and your feelings, do what you feel is best.
Eileen
2007-04-08 07:11:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kaitelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being that your mother has chosen not to be a part of your life any longer or to be any type of parental figure...then it is perfectly fine that you call her mom, and introduce her as such. As far as being disrespectful, well it may be so to your birth mother.....but she has made it her choice not to be around in the last 5 years. Did your mother raise you, or did you live with your dad and step mom? I mean if you were raised mostly by your dad and step mom.....then I am certain that she feels pretty honored to be introduced as your mom......and if you mother chose not to be part of your life growing up, and had very little to do with you...then it is your mothers loss, to be sure she would not expect you guys to pick right up where you left off just as though nothing has happened. Even as an adult woman, I cannot imagine, not contacting my child for 5 years.....that is crazy.
2007-04-08 09:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that is not disrespectful.She has been a mom to you right. She loves you like you are her own daughter, i`m sure your mom would think of her as a good women to step in and help take care of you.She has or is given you the right ways to life so no she just wants you to have a mom and she is helping you.I feel for you i lost my mom ten years ago and it is still very hard to deal with things. Good luck hope this helps you.
2007-04-08 07:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by Missy C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your step mom is a sweetie by the sounds of it. You won't betray your mom by being closer to her. no one can take her place in your heart but your stepmom is trying to let you know that she loves you and adores you like she would her own children be happy many people have step parents that treat them like dirt.
2007-04-08 09:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by party_baby_81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great that you get a long so well with your step mom. That is not always the case in most situations like yours. I know some who do the same thing.
Do not feel like you are betraying your mother.
2007-04-08 08:49:02 · answer #5 · answered by ruthie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be able to betray the bond nor disrespect your
birth mom...her place in your heart is permanent... but there is room for more...the living also have a place in your heart, don't sell yourself short...your mom would be happy that you have someone to fill in on this side of the spectrum...
2007-04-08 06:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by RiverRat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wont be betraying your mom.I think she would want ytou to call her mom.For all practical purposes and intent she is your mom now and she must really be a good woman because if she wasnt she'd have sent you away to another relative.She CHOOSES to be your mom and it sounds like she loves and cares for you.Return it by calling her mom.Youll make her day.
2007-04-08 07:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I think your MOM would be ok with it.
Ya see, It takes so much more to BE a Mom , than just having a baby.
There are many kids with horrible Mom`s who abuse them and hurt them.
And then there are ga-jillions of Kids that are adopted to another Mom who are cherished and loved and taken care of.
It is ok to call her Mom. She has earned it by being there for you and loving you and she certainly isn`t ashamed of claiming you as her child.
Be proud that God gave you TWO Mom`s. Most of us only get ONE Mom..
2007-04-08 07:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by jaantoo1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is wrong at all. I have a stepdaughter who has always called me mom. Her Mother is not gone, but we can tell by the question alone, that you love your birth Mom. So do not feel bad at all.
2007-04-08 08:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it is disrespectfull at all she has taken over the position as mother so as long as you feel alright with it then there is nothing wrong with it
2007-04-08 07:00:22 · answer #10 · answered by Belgrademitch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋