I have a wonderful friend who is an intelligent, classy, sophisticated, and lovely woman. I would like to get to know her better, and if possible date her. But I don't want to offend her if she is a lesbian. I don't want to do anything to harm our friendship or professional working relationship.
2007-04-08 06:45:27 · 23 answers · asked by chiva1rous 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
There is no polite, classy way of asking something that is none of your business (that sounds harsh, and I don't intend to be mean, it's just the simplest way I can put it). If you want to get to know her better, ask her on a casual date. Go see a movie and have a pizza. See where the relationship takes you. If you become friends first, which is always the best way to go, you will share private information about each other as trust develops. You will be in the process of developing a good friend, which is a wonderful thing to have regardless of their (or your) sexual orientation.
2007-04-08 06:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by Caper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am more alerted by your concern about your friendship, and mostly, your professional working relationship. Dating might mess with that, regardless of the genders or preferences of any 2 people!
But to your real question, I have to go with everyone else, it really is her place to tell you if she is a lesbian or not. You can certainly ask her out to lunch or something, without any harm done. And if that doesn't go anywhere, then it doesn't matter whether she is a lesbian or not, and you may never know.
2007-04-08 08:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking plainly - if she's intelligent and classy, she won't be offended if you ask her out on a date. The worst she can do is say no. After all, it wouldn't be your fault for not knowing her sexuality without being told, would it?
Is there any particular reason that leads you to suspect she *might* be gay?
2007-04-08 06:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by dorothea_swann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no way of asking this question without being unpardonably rude. Her sex life is none of your business. (Besides which it's illegal to ask someone that question in the workplace.)
How would you feel if someone asked you how often you had sex? Or anything else so terribly personal?
It's not clear to me why you would jump to the conclusion that she's a lesbian.
Ask her out for lunch. Start off by becoming friends. Hang loose and see how it goes. Take it from there one step at a time.
2007-04-11 10:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there is no polite or classy way to ask anyone about their sexual preference. Try getting to know the woman better. Develop your communication with her first. Time reveals all.
2007-04-08 07:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by TheWiseOne 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry I am confused, assuming you want to date her in a lesbian relationship? maybe ask her personal questions not to invasive of course e.g past relationships experiences, talk about your likes experiences, possibly ask her out to dinner and see what the vibes are like? how does she dress and act towards you, Is it friendly if she knows you are in to girls does she still touch you?
2007-04-11 20:38:31 · answer #6 · answered by just_looking thanx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no polite way to ask if she is a lesbian.
Just ask her out on a date.
If she says no its because she isn't interested. Rejection doesn't mean she's a lesbian.
2007-04-08 07:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i really don't know what the absolute best thing to do in this situation, because you know her better than any of us do.
honestly, i think it may be a little rude if you just frankly ask, "hey, are you a lesbian?". but then again, how will you ever know?
maybe if you ask one of her good friends. that's probably what i would do.
2007-04-08 07:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her if she wants to go to dinner or something. Don't even bring up sex or sexual preference. If you did and she found out you thought is lesbian, but she's not, then that would not bode well. Just be her friend and see where things go.
2007-04-08 06:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by mohammadwasafalseprophet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 09:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by husted 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋