My boyfriend and I have known each other 2 months, and the other day, he was at work, and an msn message came thru on his computer. I opened it and then read the message history, it appears that he has been seeing someone else, and he was planning to meet her in the summer. I am devastated, crying all the time. Can we get over this, as he is going away to work for 6 months and the other woman is going to where he will be working for 6 months too. Don't know what to do for the best.
2007-04-08 06:33:47 · 24 answers · asked by Loli 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The message seemed to be from someone he had known for a while. It wasn't just a friend because they were discussing all sorts of stuff, including what they were going to do to each other. He has deleted her now but I Know they day after, he text her and they spoke on the phone. Am i wasting my time?
2007-04-08 06:56:35 · update #1
Hi,
So either two people are using the same Yahoo name, or you want to get advice for both sides of the story? I've answered the other question... so I'll answer this one anyway!
If his *recent* (i.e. since he's been going out with you) message history detailed what they were going to do to each other, then he's trouble. If his recent message was a friendly message, but in the past (before you were a couple) they had raunchy conversations.... then it may well just be in the past.
This sounds like a complicated situation. If he is going away for 6 months, it is going to be a nightmare for you. It sounds like you will not be able to trust him.... and maybe you have good reason?
It's really hard to judge without knowing the complete situation. I hate it when people on here give flippant comments like "dump him!!" - this is your life and things are never in black and white.
If it's of any help, I went through a similar thing with my boyfriend during our first few months together. He was talking to girls online and flirting, and I was devastated. 3 years on, we realised it was because we'd moved too fast - but now we're extremely happy. But then, he wasn't talking to a woman he knew and who he'd gone out with before.
I think you need to sit down with him and ask him to be completely honest. Ask him if he still has any feelings for his ex. If he's unsure or in any way doubtful, I think it's best to end things - for your own sanity.
I know what it's like to be in a relationship with no trust - it is a living nightmare.
Unless he is 100% sure and completely desperate to make sure you trust him (and if you're willing to do so), I'd take probably take a break from him.
xx Emmie
P.S. also, I'm wondering what made you check his MSN after only 2 months? Was it curiosity, or a lack of trust?
2007-04-08 09:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be just a friend, men are allowed female friends just in the same way you have male friends.
He might have known he since he was very small, a life long friend, she may be one of his family such as his cousin, you just don't know and can't jump to conclusions untill you have something more than the fact he plans to meet up.
You also need to turn this around and think how you would feel if he was looking at your messages after only 2 months of going out, i think your out of order for looking.
If there is something else on this message other then him meeting up then you have nothing, simply nothing to suspect him of doing anything, and untill you do then you should either forget it or find another guy because he's better off without such an insecure girlfriend.
The bottom line is this, if he came to you after such a short time and said your never to see any male friends again, no matter how long you've known them or what what the relationship is, what would you tell him to do?
Right, you'd tell him to f............
2007-04-08 06:46:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear this, I too have experienced my boyfriend of almost a year cheating on me. My best advice to you would be to end the relationship now. Confront him about the message and tell him that you have lost all trust in him. Explain to him how much this situation hurt you and leave him. Do not try to make the relationship work after this...after my boyfriend cheated on me I didn't talk to him in a month, but I eventually got back with him. Now looking back, it would have been easier for me to have let him go the first time because after I took him back he continued to act like a jerk and he didn't appreciate me for what i was. So the best thing to do is end it now, before it's too late...you won't be as hurt now rather than later...
good luck
keep your head high
2007-04-08 06:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by her 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you are crying.
You should be grateful that the universe has shown you the true nature of the individual you are dealing with.
Can you imagine how betrayed you would feel if you found this out 2 years from now?
Cut your losses and throw his trifling behind to the curb so that the sanitation crew can pick him up at 8:30 a.m. the next day.
You already KNOW what you need to do. Do not let FEAR prevent you from respecting yourself as a woman.
2007-04-08 06:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by DaMan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get over this apparent betrayal & heal then walk away honey.....it'll be hard to begin with .....like a couple of weeks at worst.....but as each day goes by it'll get easier....
If however you want to get your head fukced with & your heart broken even more....leaving you with giant sized issues in which to face your future with.....then hang around......but, trust me, it'll be a hell of a lot harder than the first option & it won't get easier until you decide to take back control of your future that is!
Sorry honey, but you did ask. Good luck & happy Easter....whats left of it...KB.
2007-04-08 06:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's going to break up with you. Get your things together and prepare. For the best, just leave or distance yourself from him immediately. And don't be surprised if he doesn't try to contact you again. He really does not care for you, darlin'. Sorry.
2007-04-08 06:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems that he's planning a future with this other girl...it's horrible i know but that's a fact....you have only been with him a few months so you have just saved yourself alot of grief and hurt...dump him and meet someone who's worth your time...if you stay with him then who knows what he may get up to when he's away
2007-04-08 06:46:14 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him...he was going to cheat on you. Arrr man some men dont know how lucky they are!
burn his willy off if your gonna stay with him
mention about the girl and say ure a crap cheater cos u dont know how to cover your tracks...****
2007-04-08 21:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like it there is only one adivice for this one get some one else who is more honest with u,doesnt lie to u i know it seems hard but u can do it !!!oh first ask him whats going on if he doesnt give u a reasonalble answer i think u know what to do
2007-04-08 06:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by ɱýšƗȉɋǔȇ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him on it, give him a piece of your mind and then dump him. Your better off without a back stabber like that in your life.
2007-04-08 06:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋