Are anti-depressants really the answer?

Question

I have been going through some really difficult times with my marriage, my family and myself for some time.
My wife and I have been seeing different psychologists plus we go to two different marriage counselors.
One doctor is strongly convinced that I should be on anti-depressants and so is my wife.

My problem is that my problems are situational, that I dont need drugs - I just need to improve my life. I worry that my Dr. wants me on anti-depressants because it's an easy answer for him; and that my wife wants me on them for selfish reasons.

The last thing I want to do is change who I am, o get myself to a point where I cant live without them.

Any thoughts?

Answer 1

i wont hurt ..gesh maybe you do need them

Answer 2

You seem to have answered your own question without even realizing it..
Change the things you do have control over .. that means finding an outlet to relieve the stress (exercize .. a hobby), eating a well-balanced diet, grab a multi-vitamin, get plenty of rest. Schedule time for you. Volunteer somewhere to get out of the house for a while.. minimize the tension by planning things ahead, and avoiding stressful situations. Think about how the other person might translate what you are about to say or do. A majority of family issues are a direct result of miscommunication or misintrepretation.
Prescription medication is difficult because it usually adds stress before taking it away. Takes a long time to find what might work for you. And most doctors I have been unfortunate enough to have to deal with have been very impersonal about the whole thing ..
take a number, wait in line
here try this .. let me know if you feel better
no, didn't work? here try this .. let me know if you feel better
no, didn't work? here try this .. let me know if you feel better
You have to believe in the drugs before they ever have a chance at doing anything to help you out, and even then it is trial and error. Make that your last option.
Work on the things you can first.
I found it interesting that you mentioned you thought your wife wanted you to be taking the anti-depressants. Does she take them? Do you have kids?
I dont want to sound like a snake by raising the possibility that it could look suspicious to a judge that you were taking them (and she was not) if the time ever came that these issues could not be resolved and the end result was a divorce. I dont wanna over-dramatize things, but it is worthy of consideration.
Best of luck to you :)

Answer 3

Let me pose your question in a different way. Let's say you are over weight and you develop Type 2 diabetes. Your doctor tells you that you have to begin using insulin. You know if you go on a diet and lose the weight, the diabetes will probably disappear. But in the mean time, your health and well being will be strengthened using the insulin. Without the insulin, you risk heart and kidney problems. You're determined to lose the weight. Would you use the insulin in the meantime? Of course you would.

Another thing to think about is that your difficult times may be caused (or aggravated) by depression. Depression is a biochemical condition, not a lack of discipline or moral issue. If I were you (and I have been where you are) I would try the antidepressant. But I would caution you to avoid the SSRI's (Paxil, Zoloft, etc.). Instead, try what is called a tricyclic. They take a little longer to "kick in" but there is no withdrawal like the SSRI's (which can be awful!).

Finally, Newsweek recently had a terrific article on Men and Depression: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17190411/site/newsweek/

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Never, Ever take someone else's anti-depressants!! And never be ashamed of admitting you need help. Depression is a disease, not a weakness. Back to the pills...a family Dr. may prescribe the meds. Anti-depressants need to be monitored. What works for one does not necessarily work as well for another. They effect the cells of the brain(epinephrine, serotonin, and nor-epinephrine). Only a qualified Dr. should give out meds, not mom's suggestion. Please seek a Dr. immediatly. It takes at least two weeks for the meds to build up to theraputic levels in the blood so don't expect change the next day. Then, after the two weeks or so, you feel like a cloud has lifted from your head. I know this because I experenced it. I am a nurse too. I hope this has helped. Good Luck and keep talking:)

Answer 5

U don't need them, most make u addicted to them or dependent on them... Anyway, here's what i think u should do: forget thepsychologists and th counselors....

One: it's ur marriage,yes someone from the outside will see things clearer than both of u, but it's none of their business.. u're wasting ur money on them... & soon teh problems between u and ur wife will be : the counselor said u shouldn't do this and the psychologist said that won't work... Sit down both of u every day and have some time (an hour) to talk about what's bothering u two, half an hour each... & talk about ur problems and how both of u see the best way to maintain ur marriage.. it's not up to the psychologist.. or the counselor.. they'll keep coming up with problems u never knew u had until u saw them.. and all that is so they'd make money... U are the one who's losing the money when u can use it for a vacation or a dinner out with ur wifey taht would lead to more communication between u too and more understanding hopefully...

Second, why would u need anti-depressant!!! i know life is tough, well sorry if this is harsh on u, but everyone goes through life, and everyone's life is hard at some point and everyone's life suckks too sometimes. it's destiny ( God )'s way of seeing how strong we are.. U don't believe in God.. It's just a way to make us stronger to face challenges that are much more complicated and harder.. not that we will but it's a way that keeps me going on.. if u're not strong to go through this hard time and get out of it harder with more power and (gaining) more than what u had when u first got into this trouble/situation... then u're simply not strong enough to have ur dreams fulfilled...

Hope it helps.... it's just what i thought when i read ur question...

Good luck

Answer 6

Anti-depressants are not THE answer, but they can be ONE answer... and yes, it depends. The truth is, no one over the internet can tell you what you need - none of us know you like your wife or doctor.

However, what I tell my patients is that anti-depressants are like shoes in a shoe store. You try them on, if they don't work, you stop them. Simple as that. Anti-depressants are not addictive like cigarettes or alcohol.

Even if your problems are situational, that doesn't mean that you'll have to be on the meds forever. The meds might help "take the edge off your depression" so that you can deal with the situation better... and then once you've done that, you can discontinue the meds. Meds do not make everything better, they don't change your personality, they don't have lasting side effects, and they don't work alone - of course, in addition to the meds, you'll need to continue to see your therapist to work on making additional changes.

You have to do what's best for you. However, you should seriously assess what is currently working for you and what isn't. If you decide not to take them, hopefully, you are making other changes. However, if things aren't working for you right now... then change is scary - but meds are something that you can quickly discontinue if you don't like them.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Antidepressants are not addictive in the sense that once you begin using them you lose the ability to solve emotional difficulties without them. You are no worse off after having used an antidepressant and then gone off of it than having never used one.

Only you can make the decision whether extra support is needed or helpful right now, even if it's short term. Ask yourself if your situation is slipping so far that your ability to cope with everyday life is seriously deteriorating.

The wrong medication can change your feeling of who you are, such as making you feel emotionally numb or asexual. The right one, if a right one exists for you (everyone is different in how they react to any given antidepressant) will make you feel like you are more yourself again--if you weren't feeling like yourself to begin with due to the stress.

It's doubtful that anyone can harbor ill intentions or selfish intentions for persuading you to not be in a depressed state, unless they have misunderstood the fact that you will bear the stress better and handle your issues better. Again, only you should do the research and decide on your course of action.

Answer 8

coming from experience depending on how serious your situation or depression is, initially it is important to be stabilized on anti-depressants along with therapy of course. they allow you to feel more open and positive, therefore allowing the advice from your councilor more effective. often in hard times people's minds are clouded by their down thoughts and feelings, making it hard for them to perceive positivity. so yes i believe they are definitely part of the answer in the beginning and you can always slow yourself off them when you feel ready, if you make that decision. yet it is important to take up a hobby, sport or even just a nice long walk each day to releave some of the stress. so be kind to yourself & be a little selfish; doing positive things for yourself and keeping buisy stimulates your brain so your not dwelling on the down side of life so much. this makes you a better person appreciating and enjoying life more! all the very best

Answer 9

If you had a broken leg would you use a crutch? It's temporary..... right? Think of a mild anti-depressant as just that. Maybe it will help you to feel like your old self instead of the person you have come to be. I don't understand why your wife and you are seeing diff. docs and psychologists. Sounds like it could be counterproduct to me. (I'm NOT a doctor)I would recommend an appt. with a psychiatrist for rx reasons and have them recommend an individual and family therapist. (one person) Preferably one who works closely with the psychiatrist. This is NOT suggesting rx for the rest of your life or that you have mental problems. I had some major physical health problems along with some unsatisfactory changes at work. I was NOt myself. I went to see a psych and a therapist and I feel great. Thearapy has to go hand in hand with meds. Good luck. These suggestions I offer to you to consider. Also don't be surprised if they have to "play" with the meds to get the right one for you. That's ok. Good lUck to both of you.

Answer 10

For some people yes... For others no.

Working with your doctor to help them, help you is the best solution.

Some people respond to medications because they are predisposed to that sort of requirement for them to be healthy.

Some people cope and manage in other ways.

I'm not a doctor so I can't tell you what is right or wrong for you... Go see one...

But whatever you do... make sure that you are proactive in your own health care and speak up and make suggestions, it is your mind and your heart and your body... Speak it and know that even though these people are educated and experienced... They are not you.

Answer 11

A really tough question.

First, antidepressants won't change who you are. Unless you like being depressed, that should be the main thing that changes.

If you value your marriage and your life as it is, and you truly are depressed, antidepressants plus cognitive-behavioral (talk) therapy can be very effective.

Good luck!