We did not send Save the Date cards when my daughter selected her wedding date. (My husband adopted my daughter 5 years ago and has raised her since she was seven). Even though I told me husband he should tell his brother the date because he just got engaged, my husband did not call his family to inform them. After we booked all the vendors for my daughter's date, my brother in law informs us of his wedding date, which is the same day. He did not want to change his date and immediately sent out invitations (6 months before his wedding date.) Do we still send an invitation to him and to the family and friends who already received an invitation to his wedding? Should we enclose a handwritten note stating we are aware there is a date conflict?
2007-04-08 06:00:41 · 20 answers · asked by lba1073 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, send the invitation anyway. It's up to them to accept or decline. You can slip in a handwritten note that you are aware of the conflict and even if they can't attend that your thoughts and well wishes are for them on their big day too...
2007-04-08 06:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No do not send an invitation to the brother in law who refuses to change his wedding date. He obviously does not care and will not show up. Unless you plan on sending him a gift, even though you arent going to his, then send him an invitation to get him to send your daugther a gift.
YES send out invitations to everyone you want to invite and do enclose a note about how you know that it is the same day as the other wedding. Let the people choose whos wedding they rather attend. Some may attend both if they are close by to each other. Also it is customary that guests send gifts if they were invited EVEN if they do not attend the wedding.
Also make a list of who you send out invitations to and call anyone who does not RSVP yes or no. To make sure they dont show up unannounced.
Your husband was stupid not to listen to you and his brother sounds like an a s s.
2007-04-08 09:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would send the invite anyway, regardless of the date conflict. If anyone calls you up and comments, just say that you booked everything prior to knowing your brother's wedding date.
Having said that--ONE of you should change the date. Your parents are going to want to be at both ceremonies, and will have to choose, and they'll choose their son. I'm sure other family members will be in the same boat. I don't know how long you've known about this date conflict, but I would try to resolve it ASAP. If there's no way to resolve it, I would expect a VERY light showing from your side of the family. Your parents will be at their son's wedding, your siblings will be at his wedding, etc., etc., etc. If you and your daughter are cool with this, then go for it.
2007-04-08 09:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a different idea to the others.. It is pointless to send him an invite- send him a congrats card with a note about the conflict.. Since he sent out his invitations a ridiculous 6 months in advance, you have time to plan a small reception/celebration for family/friends BEFORE the wedding. No one will feel like they had to choose between the two of them and This way your daughter is not left in the cold. She will have her day in the spotlight, get some gifts... btw- it wasn't him that made that calculated invitation move, im sure it was his bride to be not wanting anyone else to steal her thunder!! Good Luck
2007-04-08 06:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by hmm..imthinking 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No to the last question. Yes to sending an invitation. Just rise above the chatter and realize that not everyone will be present. ( I always feel that when I get a save the date, it seems mandatory and maybe I would rather do something else that comes up later so I think it is good that you did not send out save the date ones) This is just one of the many things that happens during wedding planning that , if you let it, can ruin things. Make a vow that nothing like this ( and there will be more things) is going to ruin your daughter's day and SMILE
2007-04-08 09:14:43 · answer #5 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes send an invite to them if they sent one to you also, and just tell them you are aware there is a date conflict. What will your husband do, will he be going to your daughters wedding or his brothers? Just be wary it might cause some conflicts but look forward to your childs wedding and forget what anyone else says.
2007-04-08 06:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly.bride 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though his wedding date is the same, I would still send him and the family wedding invitations out to them because if you don't it will cause hard feelings to someone in the family. It is their choice who wedding they will attend. Leave it up to them to decide, besides announcing your daughters wedding should go out to all you would have invited not knowing your brother-in-law had chosen the same date. I wouldn't write anything about the conflice. It is just something unforseen that happened.
2007-04-08 06:12:09 · answer #7 · answered by devilgal031948 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send out your invites as you have already planned it out and have reserved spots. Those who are wanting to go to your daughters wedding will.
As far as sending him one, yes you should, as long as long as you include a note that says something to the effect of You know that if circumstances were different that he would be able to come, but nonetheless you wanted to share the invite. Not sending him one may be a bit rude, even if you know he cannot attend.
2007-04-08 14:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh i would be soooooo mad! he sent out those invites out of spite! 6 months before the wedding oh i am sooo sorry that is so rude. i wouldn't invite him period. if you had the date first and book all the stuff, he should have changed it. i was in the same position. my step- brother( not close at all he is 15 years older than me) got engaged and they set a date , it happneed to be my wedding date, but i had booked everything 5 months before he got engaged. so they respectfully just moved theirs back 2 weeks. i didn't even have to say anything. they just did it on their own not to couse any conflict. which was sooo cool. why would he want to put himself in that kind of position where it's a battle for everyone. who's wedding do i go too? that is just rude and i wouldn't send one. good luck and sorry he did that to you:)
2007-04-08 06:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, send him a invitation, but put a note in the invitation saying you understand why he won't be attending and wish his daughter all the bests.
2007-04-08 06:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋