My boyfriend gets all the credit for the fun stuff i do for his kids.?

Question

i know that some of you are going to say, "hey it's just about the kids" or you're just going to tell me to "grow up". Yeah, WHATEVER!! When they aren't your kids some bonus points from them are always nice though!! i am ALWAYS the one coming up with cool ideas and presents, fun things for them to do... and when they ASSUME it's his idea he takes all the credit. How should i handle this problem?

Answer 1

Find a subtle, or jokingly way
of bringing attention to your
accomplishments. You need
a pat on the back for taking
on a ready made family!!

Answer 2

Hi. Well, I'm with you. I think that you should get the credit. I would correct them on it in a suttle way and ask the kids politely if they enjoyed the gifts you got them. I would tell the kids that you are planning some fun crafts or outings for them in front of him so that they will know it is you that comes up with the ideas. Sounds like he enjoys that you come up with everything and he just needs to roll with it. Don't make the plans and just let him for a change. See what he comes up with. Would be nice for you to have a back up plan. Just a suggestion though. Good luck with that.

Answer 3

I wont say "its about the kids". I'm in that same boat except they know I do all that for them. However, on my birthday, I got nothing...but their mother, who the kids say they only want to visit when they feel like putting up with her, got a bunch of cards n stuff. I was truly hurt because these kids cried and begged for us to get custody because of how we/ I am with them and then I'm left feeling used. It pisses me off (and anyone can think Im a jerk for this) because I feel like these kids have been taught (by their mother) how to use people to get what you want outta life and do your own thing while some takes care of you and that they dont need to say thanx ever. I feel like everything I've tried to teach them has been wasted effort and time because they cant even say "thanx...its really cool you aint our mom but you do so much more than her for us." So I feel your pain there.
However, you need to talk to your man in this situation. He is stealing that credit from you. You need to tell him that you would appreciate it if he gave you some of the credit as you are supposed to be a family. They may not be your kids but if you two are gonna be together then this is your family and you must act like it....if ya dont its like ur all roommates pissed off at each other over dishes not done or something.

Answer 4

Well you're boyfriend should let them be aware that it was your idea or you helped plan it, if it's something fun you are doing. I understand that you want the kids to know that you like & care for them & you hope they will feel the same about you. By them knowing that you're interested in them having a good time & playing with them, it will help them to accept you easier.

But if it is a present, their father should take all the credit. After all, it's probably his money, & guys just aren't good at getting presents, and needs a girls help. It's great that you want to help & have fun doing so, but he is their father, they need to know that he bought them stuff, that he loves them, & thinks of them.

Answer 5

Anyone who has never been in your shoes can't possibly understand what you are going through. I had the same problem. Then I started believing that since my bf wasn't going to say anything to the kids, and allowed all the credit to go to him, I broke up with him. Gosh, did that feel good. I was nice to the kids, and know it wasn't my fault. You bf's kids are probably jealous of you, so hun, break away from him. You'll feel lots better and can find someone else.

Answer 6

WHATEVER! Kids are the bonus points stop trying to score some points from them and get out there with them and have some fun with the IDEAS that you have come up with, maybe the kids will start coming up with some too.

Answer 7

it's not a "problem" unless you make it one.

and i'm not going to tell you to grow up -- it seems you are frustrated with the situation.

it's great you take so much interest in those children. most people wouldn't go out of their way to do so. you're a great person, hon, and i hope you can be satisfied with YOURSELF, knowing you are giving those kids some happiness.

step back and take a look at this guy... make sure he's the one you want to be with, in the meantime.... is he trying to make himself look good in the kids' eyes because he has no self confidence? maybe this is the issue?

take care.

Answer 8

I'd be wondering about him, not the kids. Why does he WANT all the credit. Seems to me that if he cared about your feelings he would want to share the credit.
And I, for one get what your trying to say. It's nice to have our children love and respect our thoughtful times with them. Just feels good.

Answer 9

Might sound equally childish but.....you know..! How about the next time you have them, don't plan anything....when everybody then looks at you for an explanation...just say...'Well we use my ideas every week, so today i thought it was daddy's turn...!'...Trust me....Daddy will panic and TRY to do something which cos there has been no thought or planning, just wont be as good as what you've been doing...trust me...when the kids turn round and say, thanks dad but can we do 'Jane's' stuff next weekend?'
You will feel a million dollars...and 'Daddy' will aprreciate you a whole lot more.....wish you luck ! xx

Answer 10

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