I dont like my sister in law!?

Question

My brother has been married for almost 5 years to my sister in law. I am 20 years old and she is nearly 30 and she is very immature.
I can honestly say she is a horrible person. She came from a low-middle class background and she married my brother because of money, and for the past 5 years all she does is waste money and spend it on stupid things because she thinks shes a queen. She does not work and she is very materialistic. Besides that she looks "down" on me, she always trys to make snide comments about me and has ruined my relationship with my brother. She thinks she is "better" than me just because she 20 designer bags. She is very conceited and stuck up! Looking at her behaviour, i think i would never want to be like her. I am in University and i am studying for a law degree as i want to stand on my own two feet when i am older. My sister in law on the other hand, has no qualifications and she does not want me to succeed in life as she always wants to be better than me.

I do know her very well, i talk to her in a very civil manner but she is very sly and manipulative! Even if we do go out, i dont like her bad attitude! she wont even tip a waitress as she thinks "that they get paid to do their job", It disgusts me being in her company!

Answer 1

She's jealous of you, and like you said, immature. So rather than admire your fortitude, she is behaving like a 4 year old. Pay her no mind, let her play dress up with her handbags. She is your brother's problem, not yours. If you don't see her or speak to her often, just hold your tongue for the sake of respecting your brother. It's a temporary situation. When all is said and done, you'll have a law degree and the extensive vocabulary to be able to tell her to sod off and she won't have a clue as to what you said. (smile on the inside cos you got her and still maintained your ladyship)

Answer 2

the best revenge is a life well lived. I know this sounds impossible, but the next time she says something about her bag, compliment her on it... a good, "wow, I could have paid for half my books this semester with the price of that bag. I guess our priorities and ideas of a what a worthwhile investment is are different".
She's probably shallow and materialistic, and now that she has reached her "goal" of making your brother buy her whatever she wants, she is enjoying showing it off. In a few years when you are living well and achieving things, she might feel a bit more humble.
If she isn't, then sometimes you have to just tolerate people because the people you love have attached themselves to them for whatever reason. Obviously, it is up to you to be the mature one. Try to ignore her, and get some time with your brother alone every now and then! Don't bad mouth his wife, just enjoy your alone time with him!
Good luck, families can be hard!

Answer 3

I have exactly the same problem, but its my partners brothers fiancee i hate. She has all the designer bags and shoes and looks down her nose at me. I've tried everything but she's so nasty. Shes always making snide comments and generally being nasty. I spoke to her and asked her what her problem was and it turns out that she just doesn't like me for who i am. I havent actually done anything to hurt her. So i thought, i'll be damned if i'm changing for that b!tch.

So I tried to be nice, and it didn't work so now i'm just as horrible back. Maybe i'm a bad person, but i have tried, and it gives me a strange satisfaction that i can annoy her just as much as she annoys me.
I live in their old flat, and we still get all their mail. So i leave it on the side for a few weeks and if she hasn't come to collect it, i bin it (she expects us to bring her mail to her). It was her birthday last week and the card was signed only from my partner ( i don't wish her a happy birthday) Its been made clear that she's not invited to our wedding, and if i'm making tea at their house ( they live with my partners parents) i'll offer to make everyone a cup apart from her.

lol. I'm a horrible person, but it makes me feel better.

Answer 4

Join the club, as im suer many of us, your not the first person to hate sis in law and you defo wont be the last, take my advice (know what im talking about) you can either tell her "oi cow i hate you" and run the seriously huge risk of your brother disowning you, or you can live with it and get on as best you can with her, and realise that you two must have something in common because you both love your brother. Please believe me, your brother doenst need his little sister runing his life, he needs a sister who is his friend, a sister who if anything goes wrong in this relationship, he can turn to and ask for help support and advice, if you confront her all you will do is alienate yourself from your brother, and YOU will be the one who ultimately suffers. Good luck xx

Answer 5

we must be related in some way cause u described my sister in law as well!i think you forgot to add a few things, like a know it all (whatever the subject) selfish ,conceited,bit@&! I do my best to ignore her, she is my brothers wife and i cant tell him what to do so i just leave well enough alone. remember there is a 60% chance their marriage will end in a divorce soon. I hate to say things like that but look at the world around us! now sooner or later your brother will come around and see the error of his ways! just remember to be there for him when the time comes, after all he is blood and blood is thicker than water!

Answer 6

Just my 2 cents, but she could be jealous of the fact that you are at Uni and studying - she might have dyslexia or a learning difficulty and its her way of covering up her shortcomings.

Try to ignore her, be civil to her and to your brother but try not to have contact with her. Concentrate on your studies and live your own life - your brother will soon see her true colours (especially if she keeps spending his money like water).

Answer 7

what you need to do is see your bro when he's alone and have nothing to do with her any more...she has issues and she's rubbing them off on you...she may be a bit jealous of yours and your bro's relationship and is trying her hardest to ruin it....just ignore her...you are 100 times better than her....she will be disliked by all if her attitude does not alter...if she bothers you that much then give her a piece of your mind and tell the little snot to grow up...coz without your bro she would be back in the gutter where she came from...don't let her bother you..she's a nothing and a nobody...your bro should have words with her too...he should tell her to stop milking him and get a job

Answer 8

Just one of the many problems that happen when marriage is involved. By what you say, it seems your sister-in-law has found her "sugar daddy". You see her for what she is and that threatens her. When she's done spending your brother's money, and leaves him broke, be there to give him moral support. Your going for a law degree, perhaps you could be his divorce lawyer when the times comes!

Answer 9

You don't have to like her, but your brother obviously does! Just accept that everyone is different and let her get on with her life - at least you will have a feeling of acheivement and empowerment when you graduate, something that she may never have if she leeches as you say she does. But I guess you have to be civil to her for your brother's sake.

Answer 10

Carry on being civil with her and friendly with your brother, ignore her snide comments, she is trying to look good in front of your brother. He will eventually see that you are making your way in life independently and she is taking him for a ride. Good luck, do not let her upset you, stand tall and confident, that will unsettle her because she lacks that.