My son wants to cycle to the sweet shop on his own ....?

Question

My son is 7½ years old, he is very sensible and knows to use the crossings and not speak to strangers, I've aloud him to cycle to the top of our road and back but never any further. He is now asking if he can cycle to the sweet shop on his own, I let him go if there is a group of kids going together but he wants the responsibility on his own, he is promissing me he won't speak to strangers and that he will come straight back, but I'ts just sooo scary. Do you think he is too young?? and if so what is the right age??

Answer 1

Yes I do think it's too young in this day and age you never know who's lurking in the corner. I would probably say that a sensible age is over the age of 11.

Answer 2

Go with him this time and show him what to avoid and where to go and basicaly how to get there safely.Next time if you are still very worried then tell him to take a mobile or a walkie talkie with him if he promises to be extra carefull with it then you can talk to him and check he is okay all the way there.Home this is a help.By the way I think the right age is about 9 but that may be because the neighbor hood I live in is very safe and the shop is not very far away.If the neighborhood is unsafe then i would say about 10.
Also talk to your son and explain to him how he must always be very carefull about crossing the road and the dangers that he may face if he went up and talked to strangers etc.
p.s if you do that make sure you don't scare him,I remember when I was younger I went to a self defence class and was soooooooo scared on the way home that when my dog jumped over the wall I screamed(LOL)

Answer 3

The answer depends on so many things. You say that you let him cycle to the top of your road and back. Is he still in sight when he does this? He wants to go to the sweet shop, how far away is it? Does he have to cross any major roads? Does he know how to use the crossings correctly? WILL he use the crossings, or not? How well do you know the sweet shop owner? (If well, arrange a time when the shop will not be busy, so that you could check by phone.)
Personally I wouldn't let my children have gone at 7 and 1/2 for several reasons, alone or with friends. They may get there safely, but so engrossed in the sweets on the way back that they do not take care on the road. With friends, I would say this is much more likely.
Unfortunately the world is not a safe place any more, and unless you live on Sark, I would worry like mad about cars, and my child ending uop underneath one. It only takes a moment's inattention. Personally I would wait until he is at the end of year 5, due to go into year 6, so that he can gain confidence, and you will feel happier, also, he should be able to be independent by the time he goes to high school. Give yourself and him that target. (There is a boy near me who is in year7 at high school..never looks when crossing roads..he just runs across them, no road sense at all.)
Also, talk to his friend's parents about this, as no doubt they will be saying to their parents..."well, Alex's Mum and Dad let him, so why can't I?" when there is nothing of the sort going on. It might help if all of you come to a joint decision, then the children can not use this pressure on you.

Answer 4

I think it's not so much a case of your son -- you feel he is sensible and able to handle it, or you wouldn't let him go on his own. It's a case of worrying about strangers. How many people do you know who live between your house and the sweets shop? Could he stop in at any one of those places if he found himself in trouble? How well do you know the owners/clerks of the sweets shop? Just how far away is it?

If you feel there are responsible adults you can trust between here and there, and you know your neighborhood is relatively safe, (no weirdos, no very busy streets to cross), then I would say you could let him have the freedom. Lay down some ground rules, though -- like he MUST let you know when he goes, and he must check in to say hello when he gets back. If he doesn't, then his freedom to ride should be curtailed. And if you notice that the trips are taking far too long, you should ask about that.

I don't think the world is *really* a scarier place these days -- it's just that the newsgathering services are much more efficient, and things that would be swept under the rug in the old days are now broadcast on worldwide news on a slow news day. Trust your own gut, though. Mother knows best, as they say.

Answer 5

Only you know the answer to this question, you need to bear in mind that if you keep refusing your son he may just go on his own without you knowing, i would suggest giving your son an old mobile or buy him a very basic cheap one so you can contact him when he is needed. i think you did the right thing by letting him go with friends but he need some of his own responsibility.
If you do allow your son to go to the shop on his own if i were you i would ask a friend/family member to be in the shop at the same time to "bump into him" so that you know he is safe at both ends. Or Follow a few minuetes behind him but try not to let him see you, just make sure people dont think that YOUR the wierdo by following a young child. Also there will be plenty of people you know inbetween your home and the shops so make sure your son knows to go to one of those homes if any thing does corrour (I hope it doesnt)
Also make sure he wear a helmet - but i assume he already does
Good Luck
Love Zoe x

Answer 6

I suggest the boy is wise but doing this on his own at the moment is not a good idea. He could well have the bike stolen from him but also the real possiblity of someone snatching him off the street or road is sadly possible.
It is not that he will speak to strangers but strangers may well speak to him and if there are two working together, he will feel at ease with a woman. Not a good idea unless you live in an area where there is no crime risk.

Answer 7

Every parent goes through this. The most dangerous thing today is not weirdo's but road traffic. If there is a crossing where he can cross safely and the road is not busy, then let him go. There is far to much fear injected into kids by the liberal lunatic Health and Safety Brigade. Children need to get out there and learn about the hazards of life. Your son is at the right age to start being responsible for himself with your assistance.

Answer 8

As with mot of the other answers I agree he is too young. There is no right age, it depends on where you live, how far the sweet shop is and how much traffic there is. I walked my children to school every day until they were 10 years old. Even then I wouldn't let them go out alone. This is not recent, my kids are now 38 and 36. My daughter only let her son go out with his friends at the age of 13/14, until then there was always an adult to take him and bring him back. It is better to be safe than sorry. How many Mothers wish that they had not let their son/daughter out on their own. He will continue to pressure you to let him go but you must explain why he can't and stick to your guns.

Answer 9

I personally feel, there is no "right age" you have to go on your gut, if this isnt sitting right in your gut, then its not the right time yet, i think you have to be totaly confident in your sons abitily to handle all the situations that come with letting him go off on his own ie, strangers, roads and crossings etc. Why dont you go with him for a while, and see how he copes with all this new responsibility. Its so hard letting go and giving the little ones the space to grow, but nowadays it simply isnt the way it was when we were kids, its such a scary world out there, Dont be pressured into letting him go off just because other kids his age are doing it, you got to do what is right for you, they are our precious angels at the end of the day! Good luck and always remember he will hate you regardless lol xxxx

Answer 10

Definitely too young. My daughter is 11 and thinks she can go 3 or 4 blocks to the store. Now days it's not safe to let your children go out front unattended. I just learned right before I moved from my old house a couple weeks ago that I had a petafile living 2 doors away, he warned one of my neighbors that she shouldn't trust him around her sons. I also have a 3 year old son who played out front with my 11 yr old for almost a year and both of them could've disappeared in a second while my back was turned. Your son may be angry at you but it's better than what could happen. Too many sick perverts are aloud to run loose, thanks to our fine law enforcement system.

Answer 11

I know it is hard to let them grow up and try things on their own, like going to the sweet shop...Just this past month I have let my nine year old go two blocks to a friends house by himself (he had to call when he got there). I was on pins & needles until he called. I don't let him go to far without someone else with him though (my children use the buddy system alot) I am more comfortable letting my 10 year old go out. I just let me 6 yr old go around the block to a friends house (that is as far as she can go without an older child). I guess it would depend on how far the shop is from your place, and if you are ready to give him that one chance. Maybe you can walk down, while he rides and get an idea of how he might be, then let me go on is own, again how far from home is it?