i know it sounds stupid, and i know most of the people think its not ok to cheat. but i can't get what i want from my boyfriend, and he's so mean to me. he always say negative things to me and emotional abuse me. i just don't want to leave him, because i love him so much and he was my first, and just being with him makes me happy. i need someone to care about me and make me happy.
2007-04-07 23:41:39 · 28 answers · asked by xlilslickshortyx 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
whether or not you think you love him, you said he is mean and abusive. if someone loves you they wont try to put you down and hurt you. you are merely infatuated with him because he was your first. that is not love. its unhealthy and will only get worse and leave you jaded and thinking all men and relationships will be like what you have now. if you are thinking of cheating on him, its because deep down you know there is no real love in this relationship, just too scared to admit it. do your self a favor and cut your losses now, while you still have your self esteem, and break up with him first. be honest with him and more importantly, with yourself. then learn to be happy and care about yourself first. then when other guys can see this in you, they will want to be part of your happiness. you sound young, and if so, you have plenty of time to find someone good. focus on yourself and getting ready for your future. take care and good luck
2007-04-08 02:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by some guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your problem. Your boyfriend keeps on doing the most horrible things he can ever do to you yet you still love him because you find that there is still some good in him. About your boyfriend, let me tell you that he's a psychologically insecure little brat! (I'm sorry if it's too much for you but it's true) It's not too late to bring him back to the light. He may have some issues and he needs counseling. You may seek professional help to make your boyfriend change for the better. I believe that every man in his nature is good. I can say that he is a good guy because he fell in love with you. He was the first to propose to you and become your boyfriend. Cheating is never the answer. Two wrongs don't make a right. The only way to right a wrong is to correct it and do something. I will not persuade you to break up with him if you still love him. I hope that this advice will help you to create a better color in your relationship. Good Luck and God Bless! I like your character. You did say that even though he treats you badly, being with him makes you happy, right? There's still time to save him. You're his only hope now. Dealing this matter alone won't help because based on what you said about your boyfriend he can be too stubborn.
2007-04-08 07:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by Itachi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u cheat on your boyfriend then you don't have a relationship.
cheating will only cause more problems in the relationship, and if he's so mean and abusive 2 u, the relationship is over all ready.
being with him can't possibly make u happy with the emotional abuse he put on u.
what u got isn't love, u need 2 get away from him r u going 2 be hurt worse than before.
care about yourself first, before you want 2 be cared for.
2007-04-08 06:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by tboywil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have contradictory statements.
Your man is very mean to you and emotionally abusive, yet he makes you happy.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
How is this so?
So men who treat you like sanitation on the street bring you a piece of happiness? If this is the case, you might want to seek professional help because this is highly dysfunctional.
"Just being with your boyfriend makes [you] happy."
If having a man on your shoulder makes you happy, then there are plenty of them out there who would gladly be your trophy without being mean and emotionally abusive.
The problem here seems to be that you are letting your sentimentality prevent you from finding another love that can respect you for being you.
You refuse to risk being alone for a brief second to find something better because you assume alone means lonely.
Bad assumption.
In order for something new to come into your life TODAY, you must be willing to let go of YESTERDAY. And further, you can't get to heaven half-off the ground.
Cheating will not bring you the happiness or utopia you seek. It will just rob you of your spiritual energy and make you realize the sad state of affairs your current relationship is in.
Instead of simplifying matters, cheating will complicate your life!
2007-04-08 06:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it sounds stupid that you want to stay with him because you love him so much and being with him makes you happy if you say he is mean to you and emotionally abusive...You are contradicting yourself...Just being with him makes you happy, you say...and IMMEDIATELY after that, you say you need someone to care about you and make you happy...Which is it?...If he is mean to you, how in the world does being with him make you happy?...Most women would get out of that relationship...You might not realize it, because you haven't been with anybody else, but this guy is not the one for you...It really sounds like you have no self esteem...What you are doing is allowing him to control you, which is not good...
2007-04-08 06:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by Terry C. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard people make ignorant statements in the past however, yours takes the cake!
He is emotionally abusive but you love him so much you can't leave so you would like to cheat. Being with him makes you so happy that you want to be with someone else. You need someone to care about you and make you happy.
Girl what the sam heck are you smoking. First happiness is an inside job! If you want to be happy start doing things that cause self respect and dignity. Like for instance don't stay with an abusive jerk and don't cheat it will lower your self esteem. If you are free from him you will be able to freely get involved with someone appropriate that will treat you with the dignity, respect and love that you desire.
2007-04-08 06:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by QueenBean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in an abusive relationship get out now. If you start playing around on this male you may end up being physically abused also. This is not love, this is a romantic notion of love. If your first 'love' treats you like garbage when you are with him it can only get worse.
You need to read what you have written here, you are actually asking for him to love and care about you and make you happy. No chance of that happening here, he has you right where he wants you and you are saying you are happy to be there.
Get out of this relationship before you get badly hurt and don't involve an innocent person in this messy relationship as they may end up badly hurt by this male.
Dangerous situation here my girl. Be carefull and notify Police if you choose to leave him so they are aware you have been abused by him.
Take care
2007-04-08 06:50:13 · answer #7 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"... he always say negative things to me and emotional abuse me. i just don't want to leave him, because i love him so much..."
I think you need to sort yourself out. Then, make a decision on what you really want. But, cheating will only make it worse, even if they never find out.
2007-04-08 06:52:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
noi it is not a good thing to cheat on someone. but you said your b f is abusive to you so why stay. even if he is the first, he isn't in the relationship for you. you will never be happy with this type. by staying with him, you are telling him its OK for him to treat you anyway he wants, stand up for yourself but get rid of him. theres plenty of other guys just waiting for a girl like you who wants the same things as you do in life
2007-04-08 06:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by granny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was making you happy you would not need to look for anyone else. Don´t be a cheat you wouldn´t like someone to cheat on you. TRy and talk to your BF and see if you can sort it out.
Good luck and remember we only have one life to live and it goes very fast.
2007-04-08 06:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by catty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋