Bridesmaids?

Question

I asked this question earlier but I don't feel like I've gotten enough advice to form my own decision yet...Anyway, here are my issues:

Background: I have 5 bridesmaids.

BM #1 (MOH): Going through a messy divorce (to which she's soley responsible and is not upset about) just moved 7 hours away. Seems somewhat apathetic about the Shower (other bridesmaids are trying to plan it, and they're a little upset about her apathetic attitude). Still wanting to be MOH and be in the wedding but I want her to be excited and more involved.

BM #2: Actress. Didn't tell me it *might* be an issue to be in the wedding after all, hasn't given me a definite no but told me that she'll order her dress and everything anyway, and if she can't come last minute she can't. Don't have time to replace her position, don't really want to be one girl short.

Issue #3: Bridesmaids that are frustrated with one another for various reasons

See previous question for more details if you want to. Thanks so much

Thank you for your very rude non-answer nanny. If you read what I've said, I did ask a question...and it was for advice. So please don't be obnoxious...I'm honestly seeking some advice for this situation, which happens.

For your information, Nanny..I did post a question and asked for advice and opinions. I didn't create the drama, I'm trying to fix it. And you forgot to leave an answer amist your obnoxiousness.

Answer 1

your wedding is about you and your future husband... there should be no worries on your part... i suggest, include bridesmaids who have confirmed that they'll be at the wedding...don't mind the personal issues of the other bridesmaids for they are not your issues with them... this moment only happens once in a lifetime and a most beautiful part of being a woman, don't rob yourself of that moment

Answer 2

For the bridesmaids- tell them they're your bridesmaids because they're important to you and you wanted them there for this day to support you. If they can't act like adults then they don't have to be in the wedding.

Tell the MOH that you want her more involved. Although, from 7 hrs away it might be difficult.

BM#2- If she can't tell you a couple months out from the wedding if she'll be there or not, tell her that she can't be a bridesmaid but if she can come you'd love to have her at your wedding. Weddings are stressful enough without adding other people's drama.

Answer 3

Talk to your MOH about her attitude and she needs to make adjustments. let her know you really want her to be the MOH but her personal problems arent helping you with getting married. Even though she had it hard, doesnt mean she has to bring it on to you. As for the others...Its your wedding day. have a meeting with the girls and explain to them that although some may have their differences, the one thing in common is that they are a part of this wedding and need to check their attitudes at the door. Dont stress over bridesmaids...if it was meant to happen it will happen. otherwise, its not a big deal..Your getting married, that's all that matters. As the bride, I wouldnt take any crap from anyone...

Answer 4

WOW! I'm so sorry for your luck.

I have to tell you I had BM trouble and now wish I would have changed who I asked. This is your wedding and you can't think about their feelings yo have to have peiece of mind and have people involved who want to be and who love you.

I would just tell the Actress and Divorce ladies that you've decided that it would be less stress for you and your wedding if you chose other people to be BM/MOH due to the move 7 hours away and the not knowing if she'll be there or not. Let them know you love them and want them to be at the wedding but you have to do this for piece of mind.

Then you find others to be in your wedding. Maybe cousins or females from your husbands to be wedding. I think that will take care of the problems with the other BM. I hope this helps. Good luck to you and Congratulations on your wedding!!!!!

Answer 5

here we go...

BM#1: she is going through a divorce. it doesnt matter who's fault it is and maybe she doesnt act upset but deep inside really is. her life if going through a huge change right now and you need to be more supportive. your wedding is not the #1 thing in her life and never will be. you cant expect her to get overly excited about something that effects you, not her. think about it...her getting a divorce...you getting married...kind of not 2 things that go together well. as for the shower...she has no obligation to throw you a shower or take part in it. if ever asked to be in a wedding I will never help with a shower as they are just a gift grab and in very bad taste.

BM#2: in this situation you have one of 2 choices...take the chance of being short a BM or drop her completely. she has a job to do and she cant exactly drop it for your wedding. and obviously she idd tell you...or how would you know?

Issue#3: stuff happens and of they are frusterated then they are frusterated. so what? you've never been frusterated before?

I think you need to chill out and relax. nothing in life will ever be 100% perfect. your really freaking out over nothing.

Answer 6

If you were in my location, I would replace Bridesmaid #2 so you can have a peace of mind.

I would be there on time, and I would do what it takes to help you go through wedding with you and your husband to be having all of the attention.

I am sorry that I couldn't be there to help you out.

Answer 7

Sit down and talk to both of them and let them know that you need to know if they will be there or not for sure so you can have time to replace them. Weddings are supposed to be a happy time where everyone is happy. Especially the bride and the groom. If they can't get off of their "it's all about me" attitudes I say ditch them and find replacements that have the attitude that you need and know they will be there and happy for you.

Answer 8

Gee, who needs enermies, sounds to me like your bridesmaids couldn't care less, I think I would be telling them all to get lost, and have none, or at least someone that can make up their mind. How rude of them !!!! I wouldn't want them anyway now, I think I would ask them all over to my place one evening and tell them that your very disappointed in their behaviour, and to all take a long walk of a short jetty.
Good Luck

Answer 9

I'm in a similar situation. I've decided to take deep breath and ignore the nonsense. It's about your day and as long as you know you're not being a bridezilla than chalk it up to self-involved people who just don't get it. Enjoy your engagement(:

Answer 10

I could not find the other question.. But.. Your bridesmaids have issues! To bad you could not just elope and avoid the drama! It is your special day.. They need to put their differences aside!