My husband is deployed and I can't sleep. Any ideas?

Question

My husband has been deployed for 3 months and I still have quite a few to go. I can't seem to get to sleep at night cause I'm so used to him sleeping next to me. I know it's been a while but I just can't get used to it. It's starting to effect me and I have a two year old so I really need to be rested to take care of her. I've only been getting around 4 hours a night. I just can't seem to turn my brain off so to speak to get to the point where I can really sleep well. I was doing good for a while...but not anymore. Any suggestions or words of wisdom are more than welcome.

I live too far away from my inlaws, parents, and friends to get someone to watch her for a night. :(

It's not necessarily the worrying that's keeping me up it's just hard dealing with him being gone. I've been able to stay pretty positive in thinking (knowing :)) that he will be back home. I'm just really missing his presence.

Answer 1

When I was in this situation, I had the same problem.
I spent a tremendous amount of time being physically active,
both inside and outside the home. It may sound stupid but I had the cleanest house in the universe. I cleaned out cupboards, washed walls and windows etc. In fact I did anything that would tire me out. I kept a regular bed time and made sure I got out of bed at the same time each morning.

It worked reasonably well for me, eventually.
Try to avoid falling back on medication unless absolutely necessary. I've seen too many spouses over the years become reliant/addicted to these preparations.
I know how worrying and difficult it is to have the husband away and in danger and to be both mother and father to the children.

I also kept a diary for him to read on his return. I included all the little day to day things he was missing, especially concerning the kids, that I would forget to tell him. He has often said how much he appreciated those diarys. We still have them.

I wish you good luck and for the safe return of your husband.
You're a champion.

Answer 2

I got really bad insomnia during my husband's last deployment. It was the same as what you said - I just couldn't turn off my mind at night. I finally moved the TV out of my bedroom. That helped a lot, because I'd gotten used to staying up until 1-2am watching TV. I also stopped doing other things in bed besides sleeping and writing to hubby at night. I'd write to him, take a warm bath and then read for a little while, and that helped me calm down enough and relax for long enough to get to sleep. I used to like sleeping in one of his old PT shirts, too (I made him leave one behind so I could have it while he was gone). If all else fails, the PX brand sleeping pills are great - maybe not such a good idea if your daughter needs you in the middle of the night though.

Staying as busy as possible during the day will also help, not only with sleep, but with making the time pass faster. Good luck with the deployment, I hope it goes by quickly for you!

Answer 3

Stress robs you of sleep, lack of sleep makes you stressed out, and so on. It can be a vicious cycle.

If you don't want to see a doctor about it yet, some easy at-home remedies:
1) warm milk
2) chamomile tea
3) exercise (but make sure that you get your exercise in earlier. If you exercise less than 2 hours before you go to bed, it will be that much harder to sleep)
4) less caffeine during the day
5) make sure you're eating well. Try a small (healthy) bedtime snack - it can be easier to drop off on a full stomach.
6) over the counter sleep aids - most contain diphenhydramine, which is also marketed under the brand name Benadryl.
7) nyquil - tastes awful, but knocks me out every time (don't take it in conjunction with an OTC sleep aid, though)
8) stretch before bed

If you're still having problems, talk to a physician.

Answer 4

You've got a lot of the more standard things to help you sleep so I'll try not to repeat. Some things you can try if they don't work:

My girls and I often use "Daddy shirts" as night shirts. It makes him feel closer.

Change where you sleep. I have Friends who spend the patrols/deployments in the guest room, the couch, or the easy chair. For them it helps to have a different bed where they haven't been used to DH sleeping with them. I find myself sleeping in his spot when DH is gone so that might be an option for you, too.

Relaxation breathing and techniques might help you calm down.

Take naps during the day if all else fails. Getting a good nights sleep is best but fit the sleep in where you can if that's not working.

Here's hoping you get more sleep soon and the deployment goes by quickly and safely.

Answer 5

My husband is deployed too, has been gone for 6 months, however we have no children so I could pretty much stay up all night and then I would be tired enough to fall asleep and stay asleep all day and into the evening.

Can you work out in the evening? Have you tried watching a boring movie?

I know how tough deployments are and at times it is hard to sleep. You just need to try new ways to try and fall asleep.

At one point during his deployment, I would be soooo tired from lack of sleep that I would have this thing called sleep paralysis. It is when you are sleeping and your brain wakes up, but hasn't told your body it's awake yet, so you can't move! It feels like you are paralyzed! Very scary, but harmless.

What also helps me is sometimes before bed my husband is able to get online to talk. We have webcams so we can see each other's faces. It is nice to know that they are okay.

I hope things work out better for you and thanks to you and your husband from a fellow military wife!

Answer 6

That is something really big you are dealing with. So you might want to talk to a professional to help you through this. In the meantime, this has worked for me ...Try some sleepytime tea made by Celestial Seasonings. I think it is very good. Drink it about a half hour before you want to go to sleep. Avoid caffiene after say 3pm. I don't exercise just before bedtime because that wakes me up, but it could have the opposite effect on you. Trial and error there. Reading for about twenty min. before bedtime used to work well for me, too. So have your tea while you read a good book! Good luck.

Answer 7

My Husband Is Deployed

Answer 8

Thats tough, deployments not only effect the servicemember but the entire family. Maybe you should consider anti-anxiety medicine or sleep aids. If you don't want to see a doctor an over the counter allergy medacine called benadryl also helps people sleep really well.

Answer 9

Try to get a big pillow and put it where your husband use to sleep. Exercise before you go to bed and read a boring book. Don't go into the internet because you might see something to remind you of him.

Answer 10

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