Should I Tell Him I Cheated ?

Question

I recently got back with my boyfriend of two years after six-month break. However, last week I went out with the girls and ended up snogging a complete stranger. I regretted it immediately and it confirmed to me how much I love my boyfriend. But now I feel really guilty. Can our relationship survive if I'm not 100% honest with him ?

Answer 1

Hie ,

While confession can be good for your soul, it can be hell for your partner.

Why do you want to confess ? If it's just to ease your conscience, do you really think it's fair to pass the burden on to his heart ?

You need to examine your real motive, as confession is not always the honourable deed it masquerades as.

Do you think that subconsciously, you might want to provoke a confrontation, perhaps about an unsolved issue from your time apart ? ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: If this is the case, have the courage to face the real issue without ussing the red herring of REGRETTABLE and ultimately FORGETABLE , snog.

You wonder if your relationship can survive if you say nothing about your HALF-BAKED infidelity.

I'd say its more likely to. But only as long as you do the best and hardest thing : 100 % honest with yourself !!!!!!!!!!!

Think !!!!!!

*********
BABA
*********

Answer 2

SAY NOTHING for one week.

Give yourself a week and let your emotions cool down a little. "Confess" to someone else, a trusted friend or therapist. Try to figure out what the benefit is of telling him: is it better for you? for him? for your relationship?

If you are like me, your decision could change 10 times in that period of time. Try a mental exercise: Day 1, "try on" the decision where you tell him. Imagine you told him and try to feel what you would feel in that situation. Try to imagine how it would help you or him, or hurt you or him. Then, make the reverse decision the next day. Maybe alternate every day. By the end of the week, you will probably have a lot more clarity about your decision.

There is no easy answer here. It depends so much on the history of your relationship, your personalities, your value systems and so many other things. There is no one right answer.

Good luck. I've been in your shoes and it's not a fun place to be!! (by the way, I confessed. I still don't know if it was the best choice.)

Answer 3

Well ask yourself this.

Why would you be out 'snogging'(interesting word by the way) if you love your boyfriend so much. And does it take the snogging from another to have to confirm to you how much you love him?

Living with a lie is not easy to do. Especially if it is something as heavy as that. Because believe me the question will sooner or later pop its head, even if done in a joking manner. Commitment seems like it is confirmation of manogomy. Suttle questions and all that. Not all the time I suppose, but in my experiences and friends it is.

If you told him and he still committed to you, you would have a clean conscious and the ability to know that your boyfriend was the right one for you. If not, live and learn from the separation and find someone who you either are not going to cheat on or who doesnt mind if you sleep around. If you loved him that much, I dont think you would have slept with the other person. Either that or you were not thinking of his needs. Trust me it is going to realy suck if you live with a lie and he finds out someday about your disloyalty.

sorry to sound harsh, only trying to help.

good luck with your decision.

Answer 4

snogging???OK then
you should tell him cause the thing i think your in love with is being in a relationship not him you like the fact that there someone that loves you and want to spend time with you i don't know all the details but this is what i think happened you broke up for some reason 6months went by during you or him either sow some wild Oates wanted someone else and realized that wasn't ant better or there was no other action and thought i might want to try getting back together and what ever the reason we broke up for we can get past but when you went out with the girls you thought the grass would be greener on the other side but it wasn't know you want to keep what you got and my guess is you will break up and soon as you think someone else is better for you . but this is my option i don't know all the details you guy could be perfect for all i know
ps. don't blame alcohol for the cheating cause alcohol only let you do what you want to that you would normally be afraid of doing

Answer 5

This is the beginning of round two with your boyfriend and as I understand it "snoggin" means kissing and not having sex; if this is the case, then I say what he doesn't know won't hurt him but it will hurt him when ever he finds out. Hopefully, he won't but if he does you want it to be after you guys are strong again. So, don't tell him ever and try to forget what you did but think about it as a test that reminded you how much you supposedly "love" this guy and never ever do it again. As a matter of fact, make it up to him without him ever knowing why and remember this when sometime in the future he messes-up and he will mess up because he is a guy. On a different note, you don't really love him because if you did you wouldn't even look at another guy but you did more than look. It could be that you were drunk, not used to being in a relationship again and under pressure from being in a relationshp again.

Answer 6

First of all girl get tested make sure the stranger did not give you anything extra. Then moment of truth do you or don't you? How bad is the guilt, is it so bad that you have to confess the confess and take what ever comes after-wards, but it the guilt is not that bad and your relationship is going well just don't do it again. Some guys don't know how to take that kind of cheating he might think you have done it often and will try to get back at you for it....so good luck.

Answer 7

for a guy's perspective: I was married for 6 years, she cheated on me one year after we were married, and kept it hidden for the next five years and a child. When the marriage ended, and she finally confessed I asked her why she lied to me for so long? she said because I had always said I would leave if i was ever cheated on. But when I did find out I was willing to go to counseling to try to save the marriage, she was not. I guess what I am trying to say is that those kinds of secrets have a way of working to the surface. Be honest about it now, admitting it was a mistake and it didn't mean anything. Building any kind of relationship on lies is a bad idea.

Answer 8

The most important thing in a relationship is trust. If you intend lying to him then i guess this relationship will end sooner or later. I think you should tell him. What if in the future he found out about it on his own? By then, it will be too late to regret. Since you all just got back together, you should really cherish it.

Answer 9

no Tell him! DO not lie about this, cos eventually he will find out, It might be in a day, a month or even ayear, just eventually he will find out. So do the right thing and tell him. Imagine if he had done the same to you, you would want to know. Dont be selfish, and tell him.ALso tell him, that u are sorry and u only told him bcos u want him 2 4give you and try with u again.Also what goes around, comes around. We all know it.

Answer 10

you should tell him. don't you think he deserves to know? and wouldn't you want him to tell you if he cheated on you? a relationship is built on love and trust. and yes if you tell him he probably won't trust you again for a while but you also have to think that if you don' t tell him the guilt will haunt you and what if he hears it from somebody else? that would mean that you lied to him and cheated on him and then he might not forgive you for that. so just tell him the truth. good luck :)