Is it stupid to get engaged in high school?

Question

Im 16 and im a sophmore in high school...and me and my boyfriend have been together about a year...and just rescently he asked me to marry him and i said yes...should i have waited?

i love him...

Answer 1

Stupid...no.

Inadvisable, yes...

Have a LONG engagement, and do not marry before graduation (or both 18th birthdays, whichever comes last).

No offence, but at 16, love is fickle. You could fall totally in love with someone else tomorrow. He (or you) could say or do something that so offends the other person that you (or he) will want nothing to do with the other. etc...

Again, no offence, but if you haven't "put-out" yet, he may have figured this was one way you might...I've met guys who *would* pull this stunt, and the otherwise intelligent girls/women who fall for it.

Now, having said that...as long as you wait to marry (as noted above), and take steps that you won't have to worry about a bunch of kids right away, I genuinely wish you all the best! We need more romance in the world. If I were religeous, I'd say I was praying for the two of you to enjoy a long and happy life together. Since I'm not, I'll have to wish you a hearty Good Luck!

Answer 2

Yes, you should have waited. By all means keep dating him and plan to marry him eventually, but not any time soon. It's very rare to stay with the person you started dating at 15. If you try to get married now it will add a lot of stress to your relationship because everyone will tell you you're too young and possibly try to get you two apart. There is no way that the two of you can support yourselves right now. Being married might also limit your post-high school oppertunities. Do you want to be in a long-distance marriage? That's a real possibility. The next 5-10 years the two of you will change a lot, and maybe not in the same ways.

I doubt that you two will really be together forever. If I'm wrong and you two are going to be together forever, what's the harm in waiting? Instead of getting engaged or married get a promise ring or something. Wait till you're out of high school, wait till you're adults, wait till you can support yourselves. You're 16, you've got 60 years ahead of you- at least- what will it hurt to wait? If you're going to be together forever anyway, the only thing it will change is your anniversary.

Answer 3

YES, you should wait and so should he? Have either of you considered HOW you are going to afford to survive if you are both in high school and better yet, neither of you will be able to afford to go to college and get a good education to get a good paying job to support either of you!! You don't marry your first love- it's just not practical- I'm sorry, but if you went into a candy store and you NEVER HAD ANY CANDY BEFORE- and someone gave you a jelly bean, you would be in awe because it tasted so good. You probably would be happy to just eat jelly beans the rest of your life IF and this is a big IF you realized that the only thing you could ever eat WAS jelly beans. Now let's say the store then gives you a piece of say, GODIVA CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE CANDY-- do you still think the jelly bean is that great after having the truffle? absolutely not---same with this guy--- he is your first jelly bean and there are a lot of truffles to have later in life----please wait- at least until you two finish getting a good education and then if you still love eachother, then get married, by then he would be considered a truffle...........

Answer 4

Yes, you should have waited and yes it is stupid to get engaged in high school. Tremendous changes take place (mentally, physically, emotionally) between 16 and 20, and I think you have a lot of growing up to do until you are ready to make a decision as serious as marriage. Nobody that I knew at 16 was the same person nor had the same world perspectives as when they were 20.

Now that I'm 24, there's no way I would ever take relationship or career advice from a 16 year old concerning who I should spend the rest of my life with or what I should do for a living. Every single one of my friends and acquaintances openly laugh about and ridicule ourselves when we think back to choices we made when we were 16, and I don't think that we were particularly atypical teenagers.

Answer 5

without knowing you both its very hard to say . For most people it would be very young and in this time fairly odd , since you both would be facing the rest of high school and college.

If you can plan a decent future together and get the legal and money issues sorted out then go for it.

You are going to meet a lot more guys by the time you are 24 and your views on things may change as you are more mature . So dont be in a big rush .

Answer 6

It's not that it's stupid by no means, and I don't doubt that the two of you love each other. But your so young, and if you get married right out of high school, your truly going to miss so much of life, that you are really going to regret it. I know you don't believe you will, but believe me you will. I got married out of high school, and to this day, I still wonder why someone didn't have a good talk with me! Not sure if I would of listened, but I hoped I would have if someone did take the time. I wish I would of gotten some education behind me, so when time came that I wanted ore things in my life, and maybe wanted to travel, I could of gotten a good job, and earned more money for us to do those things. Bigger and better homes, instead of living pay day to pay day. But here came the darling kids. To raise them right, it was best for me to stay home. That was another burden on my husband, money wise. I can go on and on. The bottom line is, you are ONLY going to be young ONCE in your life, have some fun, do things that you can only enjoy when your young!!!

Answer 7

Uh, yeah.. Marry at 16? When and where do you plan to live together, with what money, when do you want kids?

I think the thing is that you are both going to change a lot, from now in high school into college. If you're meant to be together, you can stick it out just dating until college.. But prepare yourself for the idea that the two of you will be very different people when you're grown up, and quite possibly not very compatible.

Answer 8

Ya know I was engaged in high school. We had been together for two years when he asked me. I was so embarrassed to be engaged at such a young age, (like you I knew we were too young) I took my ring off whenever we were around any family members. Its was pretty lame. LOL

We broke up. I thought I'd die but as you can see I didnt. Its up to you but like I said, I was embarrassed. It really was too young but I think I felt pressured because I did love him and he asked. What I did tell him though was yes, I will marry you, if were together when we're 25. Didnt even see him when I was 25. Oh well.

Answer 9

You know, sometimes I dont agree with certain laws that the government has. Like the drinking age for instance.....before I was 21, I thought it was very stupid to allow someone to die in war but not have a drink at a bar...
Then there are some laws that are in place to protect people from doing stupid things....like getting married at 16 for instance. You are a child, yes, yes, yes, I know....you are more mature than everyone else your age, I am sure. And you love him and you are sure that he is "the one" because you have the feeling that he is. I get it.
You might think you are ready for marriage at 16, but you're probably not. What are you going to do for an income? Is he planning on supporting you and your kids? What about college...you can't get a very decent job with a college degree. Did you have dreams of owning a nice house and fancy car? That is not likely to happen without the college degree and awesome job. How does he plan on supporting you? Does he have a college education? Does he plan on getting one? Have you all talked about religion? How are you going to raise your kids? Where are you going to live? What are your future goals? Do they match up with his? Are you going to have to sacrafice the life you haven't even started yet? .....These are things you are going to need to think about.
I get that you love him. I met my current FI as a sophomore in high school. We were in love and all that jazz. But we waited.... We both went to college. We lived in the dorms. We joined 'greek life'. We graduated. We got jobs, he went to pharmacy school. And AFTER all of that...he proposed! Yes, it is a long time to wait, but it is so going to be worth it! I can afford the wedding of my dreams with the man that I love and have loved for over 10 years!!! (I figure, we have been together for 10 years already, we've lived together, we've experinced REAL life together....we've lasted longer than MANY married couples do, so we will be fine!). We are still young (getting married at 26-28 is not old at all!) and we got the chance to build our own lives and turn into the adults we are going to be for the rest of our lives....Why end your childhood with a quick jump into hardcore adulthood? There is a huge step you are missing! Your late teens and early twenties are an amazing time! College is an amazing time! And if you have someone who loves you and someone you love to share those amazing times with...it will make it that much better!
Enjoy the commintment you have for one another right now. Think about the future. Dream about your wedding and life together, but wait until you can have some experince in life before you give your life to someone else.
You are too young to make a promise like this! So go on, love him and let him love you, but dont give your life away just yet! If he reallllly loves you...he'll wait the 10 years to make it sure that it's right and you can both handle it! (emotionally & financially!)

Answer 10

Yes. No matter how "in love" you think you are, you still have a lot of growing up to do. The biggest changes of your life are still ahead of you, and typically relationships no longer work as both of your lives change. Take your time, there's no rush to get married because you have no clue what's out there because you haven't had a chance to experience it yet. If things are meant to be, then they'll happen later on, but I've been in your situation and I have a lot of friends who did the same and now we're all divorced or separated. So the odds are definitely stacked against you......