My boyfriend of over three years gets chronic migraines, I need advice please?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. Every aspect of our relationship is perfect except for the fact that he gets really painful chronic migraines. He has been to the best neurologists possible- tried all treatments-everything possible and nothing has helped to make them go away. They get better with medicine but not always. When he is in so much pain he is a different person. He isn't able to talk so he doesn't answer his phone, ignores me, I know it's not under his control but how he acts when he is in so much pain really hurts me, I am just a really sensitive person. I try to be as understanding as possible but sometimes it is just really difficult. Has anyone gone through something like this? Do you have any advice of how I can cope with him being in so much pain and the effects it has on our relationship?

We love each other very much and breaking up is out of the question. I just need help with some coping tools. Any serious advice is very much appreciated.

Just want to clarify I'm not trying to be petty by saying things like "he doesn't answer calls" but that was just an example. His whole attitude and personality changes and I was just hoping someone reading this has gone through something similar and knows how difficult it is and could offer me some advice.

Thanks so much.

Thank you so much for all the answers so far. I really appreciate it! He has been to many doctors and has had cat scans and a couple MRI scans done also.

Thanks everyone for your great advice, it's really helpful to read such encouragement.

Answer 1

I used to experience frequent, horrible migraines and it can be very crippling. You just need to understand that it has nothing to do with you, and that he is in a lot of pain/discomfort. Try your best to respect his space when this happens. The best thing he can do is get silence and recover when it comes on.

One thing that could be causing the migraines though could be poor eyesight. Mine were reduced quite a bit after I found out my eyesight was worse than I thought it was.

He might also be sensitive to bright artificial lighting. This was also a problem that caused my migraines, and I have reduced even more by wearing sunglasses in the office/in class, and by using dim lights in the house.

The migraines could also be a dental problem. Make sure he gets a thorough dental exam (after that thorough eye exam).


Also, an extra strength bayer BEFORE the migraine starts can be a little helpful. Two Bayer after the migraine helps too, if it was too late to catch before.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Aly,

Neurologists aren't necessarily Migraine specialists. When you stop to think about how many different conditions they treat, you'll see that they can't possibly stay totally up-to-date and do continuing education on any of them. There are doctors who specialize in and treat only headaches and Migraine. I'd encourage him to find a true Migraine specialist.

I know it's really hard to cope with his withdrawal and mood changes. When someone has a Migraine, one of the things that happens in the brain is that chemicals such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine get out of balance. That can cause depression, panic, irritability, and lots of emotional issues during a Migraine attack.

Migraine is a disease that doesn't have a cure yet. You and your boyfriend need to learn about this disease together. It would also be helpful for you to go to the doctor with him.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

I had migraine and tension headaches before. I cured them by the following methods. Some methods I can identify as good while I am not sure about others as I did all the methods at the same time.

- Acupuncture cures my tension headaches instantly by releasing a bit of blood from forehead.
- Reduce acid intake solve all kind of headaches and migraines. Take alkaline water to test if your problem arises from too much acid. To create alkaline water, put 2g of sodium bicarbonate (from bakery) into 300ml of water. Drink 2 liters of alkaline water per day.
- Yoga has some steps to cure headaches and migraines. I do them in the morning, before lunch and before dinner. I also do it when my headaches starts.

Answer 4

There's a new development in migraine therapy:
http://www.neurologyreviews.com/feb04/nr_feb04_foramen.html

Answer 5

He may suffer from stress, which can induce migraines. It may be a mind thing, becuase it controls his actions. Go to see a doctor again, and tell him/her all this stufff you just said. Ask for some kind of scan. This kind of thing could be the precursor to brian hemmoraging.

Answer 6

You just need to remind yourself that it is not in his control or yours. That kind of intense pain can change anyones normal behavior and additude. Just bare with him. I can't say it will get any easier.

Answer 7

Here's a good web site (The Mayo clinic)

My wife used to get them, then, all of a sudden they stopped. Why?? The dr doesn't know, he said "grab it and run."

Good luck.