Help! I'm SO depressed!?

Question

I'm a high school freshman, and my cousin is a junior. The guy I like is a senior.
Just recently, my cousin moved closer to me and now goes to the same school as me. We've always hung out a lot, and we are really close, but I have always felt like she is better than me at everything....literally, everything. Now the real problem. She is dating the guy I like. Since I go over her house almost every day, I always see them kissing and holding hands. I know I might be a little young for him, but it still makes me want to cry whenever I see them together. I feel so inferior to her....she's good at everything and I'm good at nothing....and I guess this thing with my crush is just the last straw. I've taken a backseat to her for so long....What do I do??

Answer 1

There is a line in the poem Desiderata which states:
"If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." Please take that advice to heart.

You are who you are whether your cousin is 5 feet or 5 states away.

It is you who is putting yourself in the inferior position - why do you choose to see yourself this way? What are you afraid of?

Go to youtube.com and search for Byron Katie. Watch a few of her videos, and I almost guarantee you'll be impressed by how she gets people to work on their fears. All it takes is a few minutes to watch, then you'll likely get some ideas on how to work out your fears.

Also, look at her as a mentor - learn from her good habits and adopt them as your own. Develop your own interests and pursue them - be independent and create that confidence you're lacking.

I know it seems like the crush will be hard to get over, but believe me, you have a long road ahead of you. Try to put this into perspective - think about college, or life after high school and college. You will definitely be dating other people then. Even if you dated this crush, you would certainly have moved on later in life.

Good luck.

Answer 2

First of all, I'm sorry, but I know how you feel. I'm a freshman as well and I've had a crush on one of my good guy friends for awhile. Well we started going to the same high school and I found out he had a gf. She is a cheerleader, popular, & very pretty. All of a sudden I found myself feeling jelous cause I liked him a lot, and he had a wonderful girl. To make things worse she is in 1 of my classes and it seemed like she was better at everything, and I was good at nothing. A few months after school had started I started talking to his gf and we became friends. Now I'm not that jelous anymore and we're all good friends. I know it's hard, but you r just gonna have to except that your cousin is going out with your crush. It was hard for me, but now I'm glad I'm not jelous anymore.

Answer 3

Patience,Child,Patience! Why? Because "All things come to those who wait"Ya know,next week some guy may transfer into your school or class and "BINGO" there he is! See , I had this crush on a girl who was in my sister's class( I was a freshman and she was a senior) Well when I was 24 I finally got to go out with her and guess what ? She was a bore! A pretty bore ,but still a bore. Wow, Luckily I didn't get hooked up with her sooner

Answer 4

Stop comparing yourself to her. That's what's making you unhappy. Think about all the good things in your own life--- they can be small things. For example, maybe you have a pet you love. Maybe you got a good grade on a test. Maybe you have nice parents. Who knows. But think of the good things--- because I'm sure there are good things in your life-- and stop with the comparisons.

Secondly, all this stuff with your cousin and the boy will pass really quickly. It feels horrible right now, but in ten years you won't even care about it at all. The boy isn't right for you right now. Maybe in ten years he will be. Just don't sweat it--- and don't make a big deal out of it. Go on with your life. Concentrate on things that make you happy, and stop comparing your life to your cousins.

Her life, I'm sure, cannnot possibly be that perfect. And even if it is, that doesn't mean your life is less perfect than hers.

Hope that helps.

Answer 5

Your cousin is older, so it only feels like she's superior to you. Besides, there must be something you're good at that your cousin doesn't excel at. Heck, take up a hobby that you know she won't like and practice. It might only mean anything to you, but you'll have one thing that is all your own.