Not that I was expecting money, that's not the point. But they could have at least left a card, right? It wasn't cheap for food and alcohol. Do I still send a card thanking them for coming?
2007-04-07 16:38:22 · 27 answers · asked by pchiz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Coming from ettiquette experts: "No gift...no thank you note."
A thank you note is not normally sent out for attendance to the wedding. (that is what the favors and free food is for). If they didn't get youa gift (which is EXTREMELY rude) then you don't have to give them a card. In fact sending a thank you card almost sounds like you are asking "where is my gift?".....so if you want to be rude (which I think I probably would be, lol) send a note. If you want to be the bigger man, dont send one since it will probably make them feel akward. As for them hearing about others getting a thank you note, it should make them feel weird because they were an *** and didnt get you a gift!
2007-04-07 17:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Nicole 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
No, you just send a thank you card for a gift.
Guests are not "required" to give a gift, however most obviously do. You should not be feeling bad toward them because of this. The food and booze was part of you hosting your guests.
Also, there are cases where a gift or card has gone missing, either turns up some time later, or just not at all. That's one reason the couple should send out thank you cards right away. I know if I didn't receive a thank you card, I would really just wonder whether they got my gift at all.
Did you have a gift opening? Were all the gifts accounted for by the person who was writing them down?
2007-04-07 23:48:34 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I would say yes you should thank them. If it was my wedding I would thank everyone who came, and even people who didn't come if they sent a gift or card. You are not entitled to of course but why not? Just because they didn't leave you anything does not mean they did not make an effort to be there. How do you know they did not bring a card or gift and it got lost in the shuffle. Or maybe they could not afford anything more than just to be there... which if you invited them should be enough. Were you happy to see them there? Be the good willed, polite correct type and say thank you! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. :) and Congratulations!
2007-04-07 23:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by stranger_in_ottawa 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm not married, nor have I ever been, so I can not speak from experience. However I am a huge thank-you note writer.
I think that you should write them a thank-you note. It is not mandatory (however it is a tradition) to give wedding presents. It is rude for this person to attend your wedding and not leave anything, however it would also be rude for you to not write them a note.
And just think, how many minutes will it take you to write them a note? Not very many. And you will definitely be the bigger person if you simply write them a note.
I know it is difficult (personally, I would be peeved if someone put me in this position) but good luck!
2007-04-07 23:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Jeanne 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If I was you I would be the bigger person. It is very rude to attend a wedding and not bring a gift.
If you sent them a card and said "it was lovely you see you at the wedding, so please you could share this very important day with us" it make me them feel a little bad for at least not giving a card.
That why they can't go around talking about you behind your back about the card THEY didn't get.
2007-04-08 04:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by jenifajen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Anyone who attended your wedding, w/ a gift or without, should receive a note of thanks. Just be brief and say: Thank you for attending our wedding. We hope you enjoyed yourself as much as we did. The End. Be a bigger person, it will only take seconds of your time and the cost of a stamp. Who knows..maybe they are planning on sending a gift after the wedding anyway. Then you end up looking bad.
2007-04-08 18:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't....
but I'm rude like that....
It's completely up to you! It's your wedding, but if the person is on your husbands side you might want to ask him and if he wants to send a card and you don't than make him write out the card.
but like someone else has said. you send out thank you cards for gifts and money not just to say thanks for coming to the wedding. the free drinks and food is their thank you. also seeing you marrying the person you love is reward enough for them don't you think? I mean you shared a very special part of your life with them...
2007-04-07 23:42:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
The day is your day and you shouldn't be there tallying who came and who didn't come. If they wanted to be recognized and receive a thank you card I figure they would at least leave a card...so no don't send one.
2007-04-08 00:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Kaylee 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I dont think you really need to. If you feel you should, then do so. But you are really only obligated to send them to people who helped out or your received a gift from.
Oh, and if the food and alcohol was really too much, then you shouldn't have done it. You dont just get a gift because you invited them. You invited them because you wanted them to be there with you and enjoy your wedding day. Well....that's how it is supposed to work.
2007-04-07 23:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I would send them a thank you card for attending.
Remember, gifts are not expected nor required. They should be a pleasant surprise.
2007-04-08 09:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋