compassion and empathy .....?

Question

there are many people who post on here without any consideration for the feelings of others
this recent one about abortion for instance
how do you know that your words are not sending someone over the edge ?
how do you know that the person reading your words is not in tears ?
this is supposed to be religion and spirituality ... shouldnt we all be thinking about others feelings on here on deeply personal questions ?
by all means discuss and debate ... I love a good debate
but mind how your words affect other people

I loveth thee too Dink
I loveth thee all

Answer 1

I ask two questions on here the other day, one for Atheists, the other for Christians, they were both the same question, with the same grammatically incorrect word, the largest percentage of both could not get past the error, and answer the question.
we are on an international forum here where not every ones first language is English, we also have young people and seniors on here, when we concentrate on the negative, we often forget the positive, and I realize that not everyone is here to help, clarify, or show their humanity, but how do we show compassion, and understanding, if we only show love to our special friends.

Answer 2

What this world needs is a little compassion. Look at us, hating people for no reason other than their physical or mental qualities. We sit in our high-and-mighty countries pointing missiles at each other that could destroy the world and wrench money out of third-world nations that can't put food on the table or kids in school when we could be forgiving their debts. We fight meaningless political battles while our children grow up with unanswered questions about how to live their lives, and in some places are overworked, beaten, starved and dying.

This view may seem bleak and pessimistic, but it needs to be exposed. People can't keep skimming the surface saying, "Yeah, there are a few things wrong here, but it's not affecting me, and there's nothing I can do about it." It is affecting us, and there is something we can do about it!

We could see past differences in people, even if we don't get along with them. We could at least pretend to respect them and be polite. It is possible; it's called tolerance.

We could turn our many tools of destruction away from our fellow humans, and let down some of our walls of hatred and prejudice. That is also possible; it's called trust.

We could stop forcing poor nations to choose between paying off their debts and feeding and educating their children. It is possible, it's called forgiveness.

We could put aside our petty disagreements, no matter how important we think they are and pay attention to our children. Are they doing well in school? Are they healthy? Do they have a lot of friends? Most importantly, are they happy? Hopefully we all can realize how possible and necessary this is, it's called love.

Let every human being stop and consider this: if everyone in the world tried these ideas, would it be so bad? I doubt it. Maybe we should try

Answer 3

HI Pangel, well... I am not sure what to say about this. I havn't seen the post you're referring to, and based on your comments, and comments by others, I don't think I want to. By all means, people should try to put themselves in the shoes of the people they are answering, and should also be mindful that the other person holds thier beliefs just as deeply and sincerely, and came to them through thier own lifetime spiritual explorations. I can't honestly say that I am entirely sure where exactly the line is though. Sometimes I will leave an answer, and later think "Gee, wasn't that kind of harsh, do you think you could have found a better way to put it", but then it turns out that it was exactly what the asker needed to hear. Sometimes a person really does need a good kick in the fanny to motivate them where they need to go, or sometimes the "hard" answer is cathartic, and truly what the other needed to hear, to open a wound, in order to reveal it, to reveal it in order to heal it. Certainly there must be a difference between a "hard" answer, and one that is outright abusive, but I am not sure where the line is some days, and what is an "abusive" answer to one person, might just be someone telling them something they didn't want to hear, and don't want to be accountable for. I guess the one thing we should do, above all, is say a little prayer before answering, that whether our words be "hard" or "warm and fuzzy", to pray that they are thought out, and tempered with wisdom above all, and not just us spewing our own problems and issues all over the asker, or others around us.
Nobody: Thanks for posting that link, an interesting read...

Answer 4

Empathy is a two-edged sword. Some people are empathetic because they are too concerned about what people think of them. I think it's about maturity when it comes to true empathy - the kind where you are self confident but concerned. I think that kind of empathy can only be learned later, with maturity. The best way to teach it is to teach kids how to converse with people. I think the number one thing missing from the public school system is this. How to you talk to someone? I know so many kids who will stand there talking about themselves and not understand that they are losing the interest of the audience, whereas they would be making friends if they just asked one question about the person they are talking to.

Answer 5

Absolutely. I think some of you might this interesting. The Harvard professor Howard Gardner (the chap who came up with the idea of 'multiple intelligences') has suggested that the modern world requires new skills. In fact, new ways of thinking. He calls these 'Minds for the Future'.

The last two; the 'respectful' mind, which shows an appreciation of different cultures; and the 'ethical' mind, which enables one to behave responsibly as a worker and citizen I find particularly interesting.

Just a thought. Thank you for your question and have a great day everyone!
.

Answer 6

yes i have 2 agree with u completely. not only r there a lot of people who dont consider the feelings of others when replying, but there a r those that only reply 2 mock, insult or just make people angry. the sad thing is u see more and more of these people, but just when u r abt 2 give up u find people like you n think there's hope 4 humanity..lol. a person who actually cares abt others, thats hard 2 find nowadays. now if only we had more pangels there wud b more compassion. (i am tryin 2 answer ur question but cnt stop flattering u.lol). keep spreadin d luv n compassion

Answer 7

I see that quite a lot on here. We should always remember that there is a human heart attached to the questions we answer here. For many this is just a word game, but when someone is obviously being serious, let's either answer, as you say, with compassion and sympathy if not true empathy, or not at all. I hope many read and heed your words.

Answer 8

I think that it is a good thing to have compassion and empathy, but I think it is also good thing to be able to tell your real opinion. People should not be here if they are too sensitive.

Tears are not necessarily bad. Truth hurts too. Tears have a lot of cleansing power.

You are right, we should be considered of others. But I think that it is a good thing that people can express themselves here. We do not have to agree on everything.

We all should have respect for others. But I am not into conformity with things that matter. I am not going to be in the side of a lie to make others feel better. This is an open discussion column and time to time our feelings get hurt even if words are not intended to be hurtful. : )

Answer 9

Totally agree. I started off on the American site by accident, and saw a tremendous amount of nasty replies, insensitive and uncaring answers to some serious and seriously troubling questions. The British site does appear to have alot more thoughtful, compassionate and sympathetic answers though. I'm afraid my response to seeing the American attitude was to express my disgust in uncomfortable questions to them. You get back what you give out.

Answer 10

I completly agree. We must choose words wisely especially when on such a topic. (we shouldn't try to make others feel bad for their decisions whether we agree with them or not)

The post about the incomplete abortion was harsh. Yes it happens, but why not ask if anyone is aware of it rather than ask if a woman would be upset if it did. (that assumes and umplies a lot of mean things about women who have had abortions...its unfair)