okay.. in my past i gave all my trust and end up having a broken heart.. so to keep it from having to big of a heart ache how much should i give? 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% ect..
and can you give me examples? please and thank you
2007-04-07 15:07:47 · 17 answers · asked by i ♥ Food 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That will expand over time, because trust is earned; so you start at the level you would give any other new acquaintance, and as time passes and experiences are shared, he should steadily earn more and more.
BTW - realize this...
With each and every relationship, your heart WILL be broken. Even if he's 'the one' and you get married and have kids and grandkids together, the day will come when you have to say goodbye to the other. You can't have love without loss.
2007-04-07 15:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had the same situation many times. I also think trust is earned. Here's what I would do:
1) Watch the person's actions and see what they do. Don't put them to the test, just see them in everyday relations with you and others. For example, are they there when you need them? Do they listen? Do they think more of themself or you?
2) Read some psychology books. Some have good advice. Relationship self-help books make some good points to watch out for. I recommend: "Your Sacred Self", by Wayne Dyer. Its not about only relationships, but it will clarify your mind. Another, specifically about relationships, is "We" by Robert Johnson. Very good book putting the Tristand and Iseult myth as a sample for modern relationships. But the best one is "The Sacred Other", by James Hollis. You can order it from Amazon. Its elegantly written and has loads of examples showing how modern people look for their other half and how it gets them into all sorts of erroneous situations.
3) Look at yourself. What is it about you that makes you have these situations? Are you TOO trusting? Do you avoid seeing bad signs because you are scared you will see something you dont like in the other? It could be you have a narrow view of what a human being is. We have animal desires, and our minds are constantly searching for our own ways in life. And any human can turn against you, even your best friend if the situation arises.
Learn more about the human heart and you will understand than no human being can be 100% trusted. That would be impossible! Just be aware of human nature, and dont expect miracles. We are all human. Good luck!
2007-04-07 22:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, If your not willing to give 100 % in a relationship then I suggest you not make a committment at this time. True good guys that you should be in a relationship with deserve 100% and if your not willing to give that to him then you should only be friends with that person until you can give your heart to him. I am in a situation right now where I absolutely adore a good friend of mine however due to a relationship she was in recently she is not at a point where she feels she can step into a new one so she will not allow things to go further than friendship and I respect her more and more everyday for it. Once you feel you can trust someone 100%...Go for it!!
2007-04-07 22:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by D M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless I really know the person i'm dating I usualy start at about 20% and it grows from there. Trust is earned not given, so don't like just start a relationship and give them everything you have. As far as an example goes...I'm thinking about asking this girl out soon, so I already have over 40% trust in everything she does, but I've known her for about 2 months, so it all depends.
2007-04-07 22:13:52 · answer #4 · answered by Eric B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a part of being in a relationship. But you have to first learn to trust yourself and provide yourself with proper boundaries so that when you are not being treat well, you will do what you need to do to protect yourself. But, you can not be in a relationship without trusting 100%. However, 100% trust is built over time. So, don't just automatically trust someone completely that you have only knows for a short period of time.
2007-04-07 22:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by Challenge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust huh?, it's hard to explain but trust isn't really everything in a relationship. It's how you bounce back from problems and communicate as a couple. if you was to put your trust put it first at around 30 and then slowly bring it up. He may hide things from you but you have to connect it to yourself, don't get to hype and think about it, if you really love him give a second chance, if the second chance is over let him go.
2007-04-07 22:15:32 · answer #6 · answered by dbest130 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people that say you should trust until given a reason probably have not had their hearts broken multiple times, i have learned, to start off slowly, and then as time goes on you keep building trust. but the key is to keep in mind that they could hurt you, that way if things go sour, then you wont hurt too badly
2007-04-07 22:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by Chrystopher P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give 100% trust until you have a reason not to; don't go into a relationship not trusting your man...it will never work like this.
2007-04-07 22:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by Jen J. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should trust until given a reason not to trust.
If you go into every new relationship with a certain percentage of trust that you're going to give that person, they will tire of your insecurity and end it with you.
2007-04-07 22:10:44 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust completely you are holding back! What chance has the relationship got if you are not prepared to put it all in? Unfortunately it is the risk you take,but if you find the right partner then it was definately worth the risk!
2007-04-07 22:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by Tiga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋