We're only 25yo & have been best-friends & lovers for 7yrs. I can't stand to think about my life without him in it, but things have been less than good for a while. Communication, understanding & sex have gone out the window & we're not coping. I'm desperatley seeking new experiences & I'm keen to meet new people but he doesn't seem to know how important this is to me. Anyway I'm a horrible person & I cheated on him for the first time last week. Before I realised what I'd done it was too late. It made me feel alive & I think I'd do it again, but I doubt I could live with the guilt. Do I still love my boyfriend?
2007-04-07 12:53:20 · 3 answers · asked by Tiffany T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ah, the seven-year itch--and you're not even married!
Yes, you still love him, but your relationship is in serious trouble. I say you still love him because you still care about his feelings. However, if you have to cheat on him to feel alive, even if you hadn't cheated, you're in serious trouble. You feel as if he's stifling you, and perhaps he is.
Get counseling, or at least talk to a mature, trustworthy friend, or to your mother. You need a safe place to lay out your feelings, to sort out the pros and cons. Here's the Ann Landers question: are you better off with him or without him?
Get joint couseling next, or talk with him in private (not too private) or with a third party to guide and guard you. Eventually, tell him what happened and ask him to forgive you for the cheating. Tell him that your need for new experiences (other than cheating) is crucial to you. If he doesn't understand that, then he is no longer good for you. If he does understand that, and is willing to negotiate space with you or to join you on those new experiences or to let you tell him about the new experiences after you've had them, then he might be worth keeping.
If he can't forgive you for cheating, thank him for the good that you and he have shared, and move on, sadder but wiser.
Good luck and God bless you both!
2007-04-07 13:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you still love him. You are not in love with him anymore. It is not uncommon when you have been together since you were very young. You have never been exposed to the single adult life and you are curious. Not good that you cheated, you 2 really need to seperate. Sorry I had to say that but its so true.
2007-04-07 13:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two have been together for awhile now. Think of some ways to really spruce up your relationship. Wear something sexy over a candlelit dinner. Take a bubble bath together. Make love to him and not let him touch you. There are ways to get it back together. Try not to throw away all those years.
2007-04-07 12:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by Sparky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋