I've moved out of state from Louisiana to Maryland and my family is trying to make plans for me to go back and live there. I don't want to hurt feelings or step on toes or make anyone feel UNWANTED! I just don't want the negative vibes left over since the hurricane (they want me to move on the north shore, which isn't far enough to me). I love seeing the snow and feeling the cool air and no more 8-10 months of summer. They don't want to accept these facts and twist it into something personal.
Is there more that I can add? It ISN'T personal! I just like it more away from the south. I'm happier overall living north than in the south!
2007-04-07 12:21:18 · 13 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I rent a room in a friend's house, but I am considering move out of state again. I like Maryland but I more-so like the north and I want to see more of it. I'm not moving because I'm STILL unhappy, I want to move because I'm curious.
2007-04-07 12:29:58 · update #1
There's only so much you can do or say, if they miss you and don't want to let you go so far away. It's difficult to become accustomed to your children being grown and leaving home, especially if they are several states away.
Your parents need to be reminded that what is truly most important to them is your happiness. They have to let you fly the nest. It might help to reassure them that you'll be home to visit. Maybe make a concrete date for a visit, like Mother's Day or July 4th weekend. Get them used to the idea that you have made a life in Maryland but you're always just a flight away from them. They need time to adjust to the changes. They've had you around for so long. Your absence is not an easy thing for them to get used to.
Be honest and direct with them. Say you love them and you appreciate all they've given you, including a sense of independence and the maturity to face the challenges of making a life of your own. Tell them you know that what they most want for you-- happiness in your life--is what you are seeking and that you love where you have made a home.
Promise them you'll stay in contact via phone and emails. Invite them to come up and visit you if they can afford it. Maybe they'll love it there too and decide to move closer to you. :) I have lived in south Texas for more than twenty years and I know how you feel. I miss the seasons, too.
My son does not want to live in Texas when he graduates from college and I don't blame him. I will respect his decision to live where he wants to, and I hope that your family will respect your decision, too. You might just simply ask them to. They may have a tough time at first and be upset with you. You'll have to let that happen, so you can have your independence. But in time they will adjust to it and I think they will come to understand and accept it.
I wish you all the luck in the world. This is always tough for families to deal with. Be as sympathetic and understanding as you can, but stay firm. In the end, it's your life and you should certainly live as you decide, not as others do. Making you feel guilty is not a fair tactic. I hope they will not resort to that.
2007-04-07 12:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by grrluknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a theory. Some families are the type that need to be around each other ALL THE TIME. Some mothers/daughters call each other 6x per day and let them know each and every detail of each others lives.
Other families are just fine keeping their distance. It's not that they don't love one another, but there is a bit more "space" between members.
I am like the latter....my husband and I live in MN, his Mom & Dad in NY, my Mom & Dad in FL. We travel a bit to see everyone and we talk on the phone about 1x per week.
His Aunt and Grandmother (and cousin, the Aunt's daughter) is like the former....I think they'd have a stroke if one moved away...actually, it would never happen. They NEED each other constantly. It would personally drive me crazy.
I know life isn't always so black and white and there are plenty of families in between. Yours sounds like the former though....be near them, they will have access to you. Sounds like you are ok with the latter though. Love you lots, but I'm happy in MD.
The solution? There probably isn't one. You'll just have to do what is best for you (its 100% your decision and you have to live with the repercussions either way) and either listen to them continue to ask you to move back OR you may not be as happy because you live in LA.
Best of luck.
2007-04-07 12:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by CG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in Australia...a pair of three hour force from a city of approximately 70 human beings yet in a shire of approximately 5000 human beings. i assume that isn't probably what you're searching for the two yet human beings up right here have been homeschooling ever because of the fact the three hundred and sixty 5 days Dot. My dad and mom, grandparents and great grandparents have been all living house knowledgeable a minimum of until 3 hundred and sixty 5 days 7 and that's oftentimes used of quite lots the different kinfolk interior the district. on the city, there's a popular college yet no secondary college. the government right here likes living house education cuz it expenses it hundreds decrease than having to pay human beings's boarding college expenditures or 2nd living house allowances! in actuality the government right here is now using digital faculties to instruct training on line to childrens in popular public faculties...they are additionally commencing a programme wherein dad and mom with specific abilities or wisdom are being inspired to flow into government faculties to instruct (a prepare that sounds suspiciously equivalent to what happens in many homeschooling co-ops! LOL!)
2016-12-08 21:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a life to live and you are dictated by your own choices. If you think you cannot be happy living in Louisiana then don't live there. Think of valid reasons to explain why you are not coming back. I have lived very far from where my family is but we can still make constant communications. Enjoy your life to the fullest by having your own liberty.
2007-04-07 12:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by Reycen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just like it more away from the south. I'm happier overall living north than in the south! I do believe you said it... now convey it to the family!!!
2007-04-07 12:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by prop4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them that u want 2 start a new life where u r now and u dont want 2 move back u love it where u r adn u will be so crushed and ghurt if u left there sit down and have a full conversion with them on why u dont want 2 leave tell them ur finaaly happy and u r finally home ..
2007-04-07 12:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by kimmie72982 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are of age, get your own place. If not speak up, I moved from Jersey to ironically Maryland and I hate it. I tried to tell my mom that I didn't want to move and she didn't listen but i wish I had stayed everything I once knew was there. And this place has corrupted me soooooooooo much with negative things. Godd luck.
2007-04-07 12:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by sweetdreams_0423 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by telling your family you don't want to move. Then I would get out of the house and get a job, rent a place and quite whining.
2007-04-07 12:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by Atheist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've always found the best way to deal with a situation like that is to be up front and honest and just come out and explain and tell them. If you are of age then it is your life to live as you see fit.
2007-04-07 12:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by luminous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are underage you may not have a choice.. If you are an adult you simply say I'm not coming back to Louisiana.
2007-04-07 12:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋