am i paraniod or is he cheating?

Question

iv bin wiv this boy 4 2 years & iv just had his baby, since having her i feel like im goin crazy. i kno he cheatd in the past but we werent actually going out then but i still think about the way he treatd me & nd cud he hav really changed. iv always felt outsider 2 becoz him & his frends speak anotha language & neva include me in conversations so they cud b tlkin about grls & i wudnt kno. to the point neway i got so stressd about it the otha day i lookd onhis fone & found loads of messages frm anotha grl, i askd him he sed it was his frend using his fone, but there were sum frm wen he was at wrk & his frend wasnt on that shift. im so not sure wat 2 do or feel, im gettin 2 the point now where im walkin down the street 'thinkin is that her'. i hav postnatal depression neway which doesnt make it betta but im so hurt by the fact that iv jus had his baby nd he cud b cheating. please help!!

im not trash at all thanx jbr. iv only eva been wiv him, i do feel real selfish but i take gud care of my baby & its wen shes asleep that i think about it

y r people so rude, yes i speak english wats wrong with riting in text, if your not gona rite anything helpful dont leave anything at all. and by the way to the last person that left me message im not a chav, or a slag, im not on any benefits i work as a maternity care assistant and work for every penny i have. so to the people who are just being judgemental dont leave answer please your not helpful just ignorant

Answer 1

focus on your baby, it is not longer about you, it is about this child that you have to account to

Answer 2

Gosh you are in a pickle. If you do have postnatal depression, then I hope you are being treated for it by your GP. There is always a tiny possibility that your partner is not cheating and unless you have solid evidence that proves otherwise I personally wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. Saying that, if you do want your relationship to work you really do need to sit down and talk properly with your partner, tell him your fears about the cheating and also explain that you are not happy about feeling left out when he talks with his friends. You also need to discuss where your relationship is going as well. Having a new baby around puts a huge strain on a relationship and it is important for the parents to try and spend quality time when possible together. If your partner loves you he will try to make an effort at including you a bit more in his life. Do you have any family that could perhaps look after the baby for a while so that you and your partner could spend some alone time together without the worries of a crying baby? I do feel you should try to get some help from your doctor even if it is just for a chat, he or she might be able to recommend some local groups you could join with or without your baby. I hope it all works out for you in the end.

Answer 3

Firstly, don't panic. I know what you're going through must feel terrible but understand that there is always a way to work things out.
You need to concentrate on yourself first of all because you can't deal with either your baby or your boyf if you don't. I take it that you are getting some help for your postnatal depression? If not then its so important that you get some. Once you can get through that part, then you can tackle the other problem.
You are dealing with what thousands go through and how you resolve this is entirley down to you. You know he has cheated before. You know he is lying to you now. What would you do if he was cheating? its easy to say you'll finish it because he has hurt you. It's also easy to say you'll give it another go because he your baby's dad. But it's what you want that matters, regardless of what anyone tells you on here. However, I'll say it again, help yourself first, then making these sorts of decisions will come from a much more confident and grounded you!
Congratulations on your new born by the way. Everything will be ok, don't panic. x

Answer 4

Yeh he's cheating...So i agree to focus on the baby.

Guys are like that all they want is a tight *****. Screw him get a dildo and have fun with your newly born baby raise it well and don't encourage cheating!

What you could do is: if the other language that he speaks is an actual language then find out a few words in that language like: woman, sex, *** etc (things guys would say to describe a woman) then next time your with him and his mates you'll recognise those words and realise that there taking about other women.!!

Also when your baby is asleep instead of thinking about him, think of yourself....it's your chance to be selfish (as a baby is a lot of work and you will be putting your needs to one side most times) which is why i say get a dildo.....:)

Answer 5

I can't be sure but I'd say he is cheating on you. He doesn't seem worthy of your love. I think you should get rid of him, and if you have your mum she'll help you through all that you need or even a sister.
When your down, your baby will sence it and be down too. Go shopping with your gurlies on try something new like a club or something.

There are a lot of guys out there who are caring, fun, loyal and like the same things as you. The hardest part is finding them.

If your low in confidence, this could be a problem too. Before somebody can love you, you need to love yourself. You know yourself better than anybody and if your sending vibes to guys that you don't think your worthy, they'll think "She knows herself more than anybody. If she think's she isnt worth, maybe she isn't". You don't want that.

Spend some time with your family and re-shaping your life. Your still young, you can go to college and get some qualifications.

At the same time if your going to break up with him, you have to come to some sort of agreement about the baby. Its only fair on him and the baby that he does his fair share and gets to see her.

Goodluck

Smile

Answer 6

You need to ask him not to talk in his language when you are around and tell him you feel uncomfortable when he does do it. He could be cheating but im not sure and you don't have too much proof on this, he says one thing to you and maybe its true maybe not. Why does his friend not have his own mobile? Talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and that thing need to change.
You are not trash you are in love as he is the first bloke you have been with and have a baby with him. You have to think of yourself and your baby first and this thing about trust is eating you up inside. Maybe you two could go to consoling to help you both get the trust back if he is not cheating on you.
Good luck

Answer 7

You are feeling low because you have had the baby, focus on the baby but don`t shut him out. When you are feeling stronger you can look at the problem of whether he is or not. At the moment you and the little one are all important. I hope you have some family to support you.

Answer 8

I think that the answers that you have had so far are not very nice. Why call you trash?! You and I know that you are talking in txt mode so dont listen to them.He is probably having a laf or summin. dont get paranoid and look in his phone. you will only make it worse for yourself. Get the facts without him knowing. He is also a father and he needs to sort himself out as he has a responsability the prick.

Answer 9

personal experiance went thru the exact same wi ma babys dad i thought i was going loopy too but after we split every one noticed how much happier i was you have just had his child an it is a well known fact that most guys do cheat on there preg girlfs get rid forget him an enjoy ur lil girl

Answer 10

well i cant understand most of your question but I say go with your gut feeling that yes he is probably cheating. I dont know why you had a baby with this guy as it doesnt sound like a good relationship but good luck

Answer 11

It all depends.... Are U happy with living with him? It seems like he is trying to convince you he is all perfect.... One day when ur both free talk to him about it! if it seems like hes telling the truth then think of a way that you can bond better with him.... But if you think hes lying tell you parents or a close friend..... they kno u better and they can tell u what u can do.....