My brother is having a destination wedding that will cost me $1500. Does this affect the gift i give to him?

Question

I am paying for hotel, airfare, and all other accommodations. I have to take 3 days off of work not to mention get a passport. He has not said that he will pay for anyone and he seems really offended when i say this will be a financial burden on me. If i should give a gift, how much should i give?

Answer 1

Etiquette says you should, but etiquette was created way back in the day when there wasn't $1500 destination weddings! I think what I would do is take a lot of pictures while you're there. When you get home, take the best pictures and frame them in a cute target or walmart frame that goes with the decor in their house and that will be their gift. That way you've given a priceless personal gift which will make him happy and it was low cost to you which will make you happy!

Answer 2

Oh, thats a good question. I guess it shouldn't but realistically it will. Shelling out $1500 just to be there is a lot of money! Id see what you can work out financially. If you can afford to make the wedding and give a nice gift then do it but dont go into debt to be able to afford a gift. Thats not what a wedding is suppose to be about.

Answer 3

Here's the thing about destination weddings. It is up to the guest to pay for their own travel arrangements. You can either go or not go. They don't need you there to get married. The question I would have is....would you ever consider showing up to any wedding without a gift? If you're the kind of person that would show up empty handed, they probably already expect that from you. You don't have to give them something huge but a gift is appropriate.

Answer 4

People who get married often do not think of the hardship it will entail when they give a destination wedding. BUT they do understand when someone says, ' I am sorry but I cannot afford to attend, I wish I could' . It sounds like this will be a hardship for you.
The gift is separate and should not be deducted from the trip.Good luck deciding and if your bro is someone you can easily talk to about it, then try that, but it is my experience that the more discussion there is; the more the drama is hyped and people start gossiping about what gift wasnt given and who didnt come. Sorry but thats my experience.

Answer 5

Absolutely! My husband and I got married in Vegas and invited family and friends. I didn't expect gifts from anyone, knowing that they all had to fly and pay for a hotel. Most of them gave us money or small tokens, which I thought was very thoughtful, but I did not expect anything.

Answer 6

You could just give him a card. Gifts aren't required to attend.

Since its a destination wedding and costing you a lot, you could always give him a card now and give them a nice gift for their one year wedding anniversary.

Answer 7

i think the wedding will be a wonderful experience and don't think about it money wise. As for the gift, write a nice letter about the way you love your brother, how you grew up together and all you can think about, look for a nice Premium paper or print it and frame it. that might be a nice personal gift... don't you think?
Have fun and good luck to you and your bro.

Answer 8

Are you your brother's keeper? Why are you having to foot the bill for his wedding? If you can afford it, I say that's a good enough wedding present. If you're going to have to borrow the money or it would cause you to run short on something else, inform your brother while you'd like to help him out, unless he can afford to foot the bill you can't either.

At the most, a card is all you give them, if you're going to shell out $1,500 bucks, at the least, a warm handshake under these circumstances. I hope you don't have very many unmarried brothers or you'll go bankrupt.

Answer 9

If going to someones wedding was going to cost me $1500 I'd have to seriously consider if I really wanted to spend that much money. I'd probably just opt to send best wishes and a present. If I felt I just had to go then the present would be way down on the list of my spending priorities.

Answer 10

I always get the registry that they had registered for and make a "basket" per se of little odds and ends on the registry (measuring cups, tea/tablespoons, pizza cutter....) . It looks good, less expensive, and its unique. The couples always love it!