How do you not think about bad memories?

Question

I really need help :(

Answer 1

Write a journal about them. That way, it'll be easier to move on with your life. Also think about all the good little things that are happening right now and future goals

Answer 2

Ask yourself if these memories are recalled unintentionally as if they are triggered by something you see or hear that reminds you of the situation, do they occur as flashbacks, body sensations or as nightmares where you relive the incident. Do these bad memories involve physical or sexual abuse? If the memories are unintentional, then that suggests that you may have PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder and can be helped by a trained professional who will help you to examine, desensitize and place the events in the past so that you can move on and become the person you were meant to be.

If the memories are recalled through your own efforts and you cannot seem to get past them. Then you need to really look at why you are recalling them, what did you learn, how did the events affect you then and how are they affecting you now. By spending an inordinate amount of time revisiting painful memories without resolving the issue is like picking at a scab to see why it isn't healing... and that will only keep it from healing.

Consider why you revisit the memory? Is there something you wish you could have said or done differently? Did you feel powerless at the time? Were you much too young to deal with the situation at that time? A victim is powerless, that you are able to now look back shows that you are a survivor and that you are at another stronger point in your life. Do you feel there is something left to say? Do you really wish to have a face to face dialogue with someone? Or would just writing down how you feel about what happened be more therapeutic?

I would suggest that if these continued thoughts are consuming a large amount of your existence that you seek assistance from your community mental health center for contact with a therapist that would assist you.

PS: A friend of mine suggested that If you truly only just want to "snap out of it" when you start to dwell on a negative memory, sometimes you can practice a simple band-aide technique called adverse therapy. All you need is a thick rubber band & wear it around your wrist and when the compulsion to dwell on a negative memory or action that you want to change begins, snap the rubber band as a reminder.

Answer 3

Get a copy of the book YOUR BEST LIFE NOW. Take it to heart and mind. As the old saying goes, "You are what you think about... all day long." Nevertheless, it takes determined effort to cast down/out negative thoughts. If you're really stuck, get a therapist. Otherwise, you have to take up the battle, and try to replace the negative with the positive -- even if it means fighting a bad thought every three minutes. Gradually, you will win the war. Bad memories have a way of existing; but only if you call them up, and choose to dwell on them. Once they rise, cut them off... or you end up entertaining unwelcome guests, over and over. Another saying: "You can't stop the birds from flying over your head; but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair." Give it a shot. And pray for help, from the greatest helper there is... But be patient. Things don't just change overnight.
You can win. One thought at a time. Happy Easter.

Answer 4

Nightmares, violent flashbacks, and an inability to simply forget painful memories for even a moment, these are some of the consequences of experiencing a trauma. The haunting nature of the memories are often so horrible that erasing the memory all together is desirable.

Meditation, positive self talk, affirmations, and journaling can all help with dealing with bad memories. You can meditate at night by getting a self guided meditation cd and listening to it. You can also do positive self talk where when you catch yourself thinking about bad memories you can rationalize with yourself that you are safe, the bad memories are in the past, and that you are safe and happy now. Affirmations are like daily quotes. You can go to a used or new bookstore and get a daily meditational book where you read it everyday. And you can journal your thoughts and feelings down on paper so that you can get it out of your system. I work with vets who have PTSD and this is what we have them do. That and we tell them to stay in the moment. Because with bad memories they tend to drag you back to the past, that can be okay sometimes but you just don't want to get lost in the past.

Answer 5

While dwelling on bad memories isn't good, neither is repressing them. Try to figure out why these bad ones keep coming back up, maybe something happening today is similar to what happened then and you could use what you learned from before to avoid more pain.

You don't say how bad these memories are or why they're coming back, but if it's really bothering you or interfering with your daily life you might want to look into therapy.

Answer 6

You morn them. Bad memories are like a loss and sometimes you need to just mull them over think about them so much that you are ready to just give them up entirely so they do not keep you from moving forward in your life. If you do not try to work out why those memories hurt you that much they will still keep coming up. If you morn the loss of them they might pop up, but the impact on your life will be less and it will not affect you moving forward with your life.

Answer 7

Everyone has them but try not to dwell on them. Give in to the moment, think of something pleasant and move on. Really traumatic things need to be dealt with by either talking to a friend or counselor. Dwelling on bad things for too long brings everybody down. When a bad memory comes think of ten things good in your life.

Answer 8

If it is guilt forgive yourself. Realize that a memory is not "real" anymore - it is not your current reality. It is just a thought in your head (an energy) and doesn't exist anywhere else. Focus on today because that is your reality.
If you want a technique to let it go, try Byron Katie's "The Work", it is free on the Internet and takes you step by step in letting a bad thought go.

Answer 9

Take a deep breathe and say to yourself: "That's enough" and deliberately push it away. Get busy, do something else. Put the tv on, the radio, a cd. Use happy music. Phone a friend. Read a book.
Get into the habit of not concentrating on bad memories. Replace them with good ones. You have to be strong and do it deliberately.
Otherwise you will allow the past to take over your future. And that's definitely not what you want.

Answer 10

well..... you focus on your future and on the present...try doing or learning new things, go to new places where you'll meet new people and also focusing on your work or career is good having something to do every minute keeps your mind of things that are not in the moment important... do something good for yourself, go to a spa, shopping, out to eat with family or friends get a hobby such as running, dance class or going to a gym. talk to someone who will listen to everything you feel or have to say, talking about it will lift a load up your chest... now if the memory is uglier like abuse or something like that you need therapy or talk to someone you really trust...
hope this helps

Answer 11

Focus on the positive stuff and know that you are not alone. Everybody has bad times amd bad memories. But, there are so many good things in life as well. :)