How can you get rid of bitterness, anger and resentment if you can't git rid of the problem causing them?

Answer 1

You have taken the first step - recognising that you can't change the situation but it still makes you feel anger.

You have realised that you can't change it, so now you need to let go of the feelings it is causing you to have. You are allowing this situation to dictate how you feel, and no-one should do that but yourself.

You don't want to go through life being bitter and angry, it doesn't help anyone, let alone you and if you go on like this for years, it will have a damaging effect on your health and relationships.

You know you can't change it so you need to let it go. Go to a kickboxing class or somethign and vent your feeling there, then learn to change the topic once the anger towards this enters your mind.

Be at peace and move on.

Good luck x

Answer 2

Be rational. There are many ways of thinking about a situation and many ways of understanding it. Take into consideration how the other people involved would see a situation, how the other people would feel, why they would act the way they do. Have insight into what makes other people behave and feel as they do. You will always be miserable if you look from a me, me, me point of view all the time. How you understand things or feel may be very different to the other persons involved. This is where counseling helps, gets you to think from other directions and realize there's more than you in any given situation. People who are bitter, angry and resentful often feel the world owes them a living, that nothing bad should ever happen to them and that they are the most important thing on earth. It's a very unrealistic way of thinking. We are all just one of a billion or so experienceing a life and living in a world that wasn't particularly designed for our needs. .Hope this is helpful

Answer 3

It sounds like you are talking about a spouse or other family member.

Some things you will never be able to change. You cannot change the past. You can only deal with the wounds and go forward. No matter what or who the problem is you can stand your ground and say you are not going to take it, and that you are worthy of respect.

Part of your anger and bitterness could also be against yourself for letting something or someone have so much control over your feelings and emotions. Remember, you are responsible for how you feel, and you don't have to take upon yourself the feelings of others. Nor do you have to accept the feelings others are telling you to have.

Set some boundaries and start working on yourself. Learn when to say no and learn when to let go. Remember, you are responsible for the emotions you allow yourself to have no matter what someone else does. However, it is alright be be angry so give yourself credit for identifying a problem. Now that you've identified a problem what are you going to do about it? Start with setting some boundaries between yourself and others, take ownership for your feelings and learn to understand them, and let others deal with the consequences of their own choices. Detach if you have to and let go. Life is too short to hold onto anger, bitterness, and resentment. Learn to forgive.

Answer 4

Many times I have only wished someone would say "sorry" or someone would try to fix a problem that was plaguing my life. You see, I am one of those people who really likes "sorry" and really likes it when people try to make things better when I am trying as well.

However, wishing for someone to say "sorry" is the most stupid thing ever, becuase it's the last thing anyones going to say. The same thing goes for wishing for the problem to go away, becuase it's unlikely things will change. You see, people will only change because they want to. They won't change for you.

If this isn't a person thing however, the same principle applies. Try as you might, somethings just won't change. It's really depressing.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, especially when no one will say "sorry" and nothing will change. Because, at this point, no one cares accept for you. And, ultimately, you are the only one who can do or change anything about the situation. Although the ability to let go of something is really hard (I still haven't gotten it down), it's something you have to learn to do, and it is something that will set you free from all the burden and pain that the situation is causing.

Praying for the ability to do so, praying for fogiveness for holding on, and praying for God to take it from you also helps. According to my Christian beliefs, not only did Christ suffer for our sins, but he also suffered all the pain and anger and sorrow so that he could know what we're going through so that he could save us. Since he's already suffered, there's no point in you continuing. See Matt 11: 28-30.

Also Read John 14:18

Here's my suggestion. Feel free to take (or ignore) what you will.

Answer 5

If you cant get rid of the problem then accept the problem. These are also emotions, strong emotions. Emotions that started as something much less harmful than these ones. Feeling these emotions does you and your spirit damage. It is not healthy emotions. First of all try and find out why you feel these emotions. Until you realize what, in you, cause you to feel them. Then you can start with the release process. Understanding them then accepting them then releasing them.
Also i think that the more you think about your problem the worse it gets so just stop thinking about the problem (negative) and try to think about something positive.

Good luck with them and may you experience love and peace soon.

Answer 6

I'll assume you're struggling with some kind of burden.
My best advice to you is to weigh your options, and let go that which you judge to be the cause of these problems.
You can get rid of the problem, you just may not like the idea of doing so.

There, a nice, vague and circular solution to a nice, vague and circular question.

Everything moves in circles.
The Logos is in harmony.

Answer 7

Bitterness, anger and resentment come from attachment. It could be attachment to being right, attachment to keeping things the same, attachment to power, etc.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

The only person we can fix is ourselves. Others must find their own way, but we can be an example.

Answer 8

Good question. That's one of the hardest things for me, as a Christian, to do. I've had people in my life who have hurt me, and as a Christian, I know the right thing is to forgive them. It's not easy, but I've found praying for them helps, even when I don't feel like praying for them. But sometimes, getting rid of the problem is necessary too.

Answer 9

they result from the root sin pride. This is a great reason for going to confession if you are a Catholic. When you confess these sins you are made aware of what is really causing them and then through the grace and strength of our Lord, you are given his strength to fight against them. He has conquered them all. But praying and asking for humility is very hard especially if you believe that you will get what you ask for. When you ask for humility you know that you will be humbled and in all honesty we will not like it so it goes against us to ask for it. It is just a way we can empty ourselves to be filled more with him.

Answer 10

Well if you can't get rid of it, you will need to either learn to ignore the problem, or learn to like it.

Understanding the problem, and understanding yourself can help you understand why it bothers you.

Focus on something else. Look at the problem differently.