about a year ago i met the guy of my dreams. sadly we live on opposite ends of the country. im moving this fall to be closer to him. i am also meeting his kids before i move. im worried about how they're going feel about it. i want them to know that i feel they should always come first, with me and especially their dad, that i want them to feel that they can talk to me, but i dont want them to feel pressured into talking or even really liking me right now. i dont want to be their disciplinarian, or for them to accept me as part of their family. i just want to get to know them for the wonderful kids i get the impression that they are. they have a great relationship with their dad and i dont want them to feel that im trying to come between that. this is the only time our age difference worries me. he is about ten years older than me and i am eight years older than his oldest. i dont want them to feel that i am not serious about their dad, or that im trying to take him away from them.
2007-04-07 03:48:28 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have to admit i don't have any personal experience with this subject but i do feel that i know fairly well what i'd do if i were in your shoes.
i'd definately be myself. i wouldn't try to spoil the children by buying expensive toys for them, etc. i 'd just try to find things in them that i like and focus on those things, so i can at least appear to like them until i really get to know them better.
i'd just be my normal self, show a great dal of affection to their dad, to them as well, take time out for myself. try to block out thoughts of them as a hindrance to my relationship with their father. try always to think positive thoughts towards everyone involved.
at least if it doens't work, you know you were not rude or inconsiderate to anyone and their father will know you did your best. find out what they like and make reasonable efforts to do it for them, take them out. make day trips with them and their dad to places that they like, maybe the zoo, their favourite place to eat.
use common sense and your intuition and you will most likely succeed. god bless you and all the best!
2007-04-07 04:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by shopsummor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good element that character is accessible in first inclusive of your spouse - and that she has low expectancies. i replaced into waiting to respond to the question, till I examine the section I skipped the 1st time. this could have been a very humorous situation in case you hadn't executed the disgusting portion of observing somewhat woman via a telescope. what's incorrect with you. Then she is a youthful woman, no longer a woman - your mistake.
2016-10-21 06:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by lipton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give it your best. Love their dad, and don't be too over the top with your attitude toward them. Treat them like they're adults, and value their opinions.
2007-04-07 03:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by TJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them what you just told us..You have really just answered your own question without realizing it.It was easy for you to type your feeling's out now you just need to verbalize them to his kid's..Relax and everything will be fine..Good Luck & Best Wishes.
2007-04-07 03:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and he love each other then the kids will have to go with the flow....dont push, just be yourself and let them make up their own minds about you, and you live with their decisions....good luck and happiness to you.....
2007-04-07 03:56:50 · answer #5 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself and love their father, it is going to be hard, and your going to feel like you are walking on eggshells, but if you two are happy and in love when you two are together, the children will see it and accept you.
2007-04-07 03:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything but be yourself. They will see anything else as being phony and that is not the way you want to start things. You are not their mother so don't act like one, you are not his fiance so don't act like one, just act like what you are his girlfriend. They will respect that if you treat them as that.
2007-04-07 03:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There probably is not enough space for me to answer but i am in your same situation but i am the one with the kids and my partner has moved in with me and my kids. Email me or msn we can chat if you have msn addy
2007-04-07 03:54:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all slow down and try meeting them first, dont right away try and be there parent , be there friend and get to know them
2007-04-07 03:57:38 · answer #9 · answered by crissy c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋