How many parents have had their sons/daughters turn their backs on religion once they became teens?

Question

It is well known many young adults(teens) do not follow any type of religion. Lets say you have a Sunday school class of children of 20 to begin with now these kids enter middle school and your class drops to 14 or 15, once these move on to High School leave childhood behind your participants in the older youth group of this original class is 2-3. In fact the pastor at our church will tell middle school students do not come to confirmation classes if you do not want to, do not come if your only here because of your parents. Do you think if our kids are given more leaway in choosing their religion etc. in middle school more may continue in high school and beyond? At what point do they decide this is my parents chosen religion and choice to be involved not mine and drop out altogether? Other than my youngest in middle school my older 3 will not step into a church except for weddings and funerals despite a religious upbringing when young.

Also since so many clergy and especially the Catholic church has been found to be full of pediphiles going back many years, is it even wise to have young children attend anylonger?

Answer 1

Let your kids decide for themselves. If you have to force them to go, they will hate you AND religion.
Personally, I think organized religion is going to do your kids more harm than good. I assume you are a Christian. And if they went to church every week and did everything the church and you told them to do, they wouldnt be accepting of people of other faiths.
Wait...before you start saying that you accept and forgive everyone no matter what...yada yada. Really ask yourself...if your son started hanging out with a Muslim, you would be bent because of his religious beliefs, and you wouldnt even know the kid. What if he is just as disinterested in his religion as your kid? You would be seperating your son from a potentially good person and friend because you think his religious belief will taint your son.
Good ahead and deny it...but I think you know that to be true.

Moral of the story is...your kids should have the choice of religion. Not only what faith to follow, but if they want to follow at all.

Answer 2

I will tell you as a child my parents took me to church weds and sundays. I attended biblestudy, sunday school, and even the teen involvement the church offered I was also in church on all holidays. And as an adult its not what I chose to do, infact when I was 15 I realized that what the church and "religion" talked about was not right for me. Growing up I was never comfortable with "God" being such a mighty "being" and having so much power never made sense to me. Anyhow I do not judge those that worship I dont expect to be judged because I dont. As ppl grow they have a right to make up their own minds regarding religion and church, let them spread their wings when or if they feel its time to go back they will.

And by the way as a parent of a 14yr old and a 10 month old who also raised my two nephews ages 15 and 17 I do not force them to go to church if they want to fine, if not fine with me too and they dont judge others for going or not.

Answer 3

What a great question. Being a "child" who rejected her parents religion, I can totally relate. Having been brought up in Fundamentalist Baptist Churches since I was in 1st grade, I always questioned everyones intention. Many people, including my parents, feared the pastor and not God. In my house I heard phrases such as Don't let pastor so-and-so seeing you doing________. It was not until last year that I finally got fed up and decided to attend a Christian church of a different denomination, that I was finally at peace with my faith. Instead of focusing on what is different and wrong with different denominations, we focus on what is common with a religions including protestant, lutheran, presbyterian, catholic,etc. I think that is what Christ want to see.

Answer 4

I'm not a parent, but I am one of the kids who turned my back on religion. My parents forced us to go ("because we said so"), and I was incredibly disillusioned by how often fear was used as a motivator for encouraging "belief." Besides that, it was absolutely no fun to have to go to mass on a Saturday afternoon nor on a Sunday morning during the spring and summer. I also vaguely remember reading where Abe Lincoln(?) rarely (or never?) went to church, but would pray on his own at home.

I think kids will, like me, become disillusioned with the idea of religion if it's forced on them, especially when so many of their questions are deflected with vague, lazy replies such as "It's God's will" or "Just have faith." There's nothing concrete there.

The whole idea of forcing kids to go to church, mass, etc. is a vicious cycle and needs to be broken. Especially with televangelists prostituting themselves for contributions from multitudes of suckers, some of us have decided that organized religion is just a big game that the greedy play to get rich while definitely *not* following the advice and "wisdom" of their alleged God/gods.

Instead, respect your children and allow them room to make such decisions for themselves. Yes, there are federal laws concerning childrens' education - they need to go 'til they're at least 16 still, right? - but religious education is not and hopefully will *never* become part of the law. Thus, your kids shouldn't be subject to it if they choose to avoid it. Parents' obligations to their children is to provide them food, clothing, shelter, and *guidance,* but that means showing the kids general ways to make it in the world. That doesn't mean you should mold the kid in your exact image.

Answer 5

I know as a parent of eight children that once they hit their teenage years that they are heavily influenced by society. Our society here in America is not like other countries where religion is the cornerstone of their culture. Here it is a 'lifestyle' choice. Here our children worship idols such as singers, sports people, actors/actresses, etc. and they are taught in America to be vain, greedy and jealous of others. Everything has to be bigger and better, more, more, more and always looking for a handout.

I didn't and don't force my religion/beliefs on my children. I am giving them every opportunity to choose for themselves. One of my oldest sons never believed in God and now he attends church, volunteers with bible class and has accepted Jesus as his personal savior. It took something happening to him for him to see. My two younger children are following in those footsteps, however my other four teenagers are still undecided. I sit and talk with them and I pray for my children that they will not be influenced by the evilness in this world. I can only pray that they will receive God's word and make their decision to follow based on what they believe and from their experiences.

Answer 6

Can you blame them?
Many organized religions are seen to use fear in an attempt to control their followers. Some are seen to abuse the young, and look at what religions have done, and are doing around the world.

Answer 7

This seems to be the common plight of most young people, myself included in this category if we were able to go back some thirty or so years. What's going on here?

The passions of the flesh and values of our material world (the culture of death) are competing for rule and domination in a mind and body that was previously instilled with the life-giving values of the Word.

The good news is that after a few or several years of chasing all the wrong things that fail to satisfy, they'll wise-up, lose the rebellion, and come back just like the prodigal son without anyone twisting their arms. And best of all, they'll really, really, really want it [to walk with the Lord in all things].

Answer 8

When I was young I went to church but I think my parents sent us so they could sleep in on Sundays without a bunch of kids running around.

I don't believe in god and neither does almost everyone I know. I think I just hit this point where I realized it is just a crutch people need to keep them in line. I'm a good person without it- no need to follow a fictional book word for word.

My husband used to pray and attend church. He's pretty much stopped but he hasn't admitted god is not real (yet). I'm working on it.

Answer 9

i did too, my parents are hindus but i am not, i believe in spirits and reincarnation. my parents had a very good philosophy. when i was 12 i did not want to go to temple any more because i would rather watch tv but they made me go. when i was 14 i said i didnt want to go to temple because i do not believe in the gods, i do not think they are real. my parents made me write 250 words on what i believed and then let me stay home.
they wanted to show me what they believed but let me make my own decision. when i had made me decision on what i believed they did not make me go. i think this is a very good way to do it and is how i plan to raise my children.
you should not force your religion on your children if they believe something else.

Answer 10

My only fear with my children is that they will take up some stupid religion. I trained them to question everything - especially anything pertaining to ANY religion. A personal relationship with God does not depend on a religion.