Last week I was invited to go out to dinner with a few friends, one of which is my "best friend" Well, I accepted the invite, and im supposed to be going tonight. However, my "best friend" recently decided she wanted to start talking about me behind my back, saying nasty things to my other friends...i confronted her on the situation and told her I was hurt. Well now she's mad at me for the "way I brought up the situation to her" she said I could have confronted her more "respectfully"...so we are cold towards each other now. I talked to her yesterday and asked her if I should still attend dinner, I said I wanted to know the truth so it wouldnt be uncomfortable for us....she said "I dont know if its going to be uncomfortable for you, IM going to have a fun time, I wont tryyy to ignore you, but whether you feel comfortable or not is entirely your choice...." So, I hung up. My question is, Should I attend dinner tonight? Please help...
2007-04-07 02:28:35 · 36 answers · asked by Ash 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here's the thing....I DONT WANT TO GO, i think i will be uncomfortable.....
2007-04-07 02:33:51 · update #1
Go to the dinner. She is reacting the way she is because she is embarrassed from being caught. Don't bring it up anymore. Time will heal the wound between you.
And for what it's worth, good that you called her out on it. Best friends aren't easy to come by...apparently you were wrong about the level of your friendship. In time, there will be another best friend. Just keep the ones you have.
I JUST READ YOUR STATEMENT ABOUT NOT WANTING TO GO.
You should do want you want, but I sense you being uncomfortable with going. Otherwise you probably wouldn't ask. Several of us would support you in that decision. If you still struggle take a moment to create a list, two columns.
Title them GO/NO GO. List reasons for both. Which list is longer? Or weight your responses 1 for not much merit. 2 for much merit. Which list has more merit?
Bottom line is you can do what you want. Take comfort in knowing that. Don't ruin a good day, worrying about something you have control over.
2007-04-07 02:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would go, have a wonderful time and see what happens. I'm thinking she isn't a very good friend anyway if she has made fun of or talked about you behind your back for one thing. I also think its humerous that she had the nerve to talk about you YET thinks the fact that you confronted her was in a disrespectful way. That almost made me laugh to death. You are obviously a much better person than she, also a better friend. And in confronting her you knocked her down a notch and she didnt like it, point blank. I would most DEFINITELY go to the dinner otherwise she will feel as if she has won, and even though this may not be about who wins or loses (because obviously she is already losing because you actually confronted her instead of ignoring her and letting her get the upper hand) you should have enough self respect to go, hold your head up and EVEN if what she said bothers you DO NOT show her that!!! Maybe she will eventually grow up and realize you dont go around hurting your "best friend" intentionally. Although its people like her that usually end up old and lonely because they always feel they have to "talk" about people. And honestly I would rather have a friend like you than her anyday. Good Luck (oh and if I were you I would go the extra effort to make myself look astonishingly beautiful that night LOL just to see her face when SHE isnt getting ALL the attention LOL) Good luck hon
2007-04-07 03:09:42 · answer #2 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably would rather you not attend the dinner as that would give her another opportunity to bad mouth you.
I would go anyway, act like nothing is wrong and have a wonderful time, even if aren't. Don't let her know she got to you.
The only good thing you can say now is that you know she isn't your friend. If she talks about you, she probably talks about everyone else too.
If she invited you and she's paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. And, if she ever invites you again, just be busy.
2007-04-07 02:37:36 · answer #3 · answered by rann_georgia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. What kind of friend talks trash behind your back? And.....get ugly with you for confronting her about it? Put the shoe on the other foot and imagine how she would have handled it if it had been you talking trash about her.
You can't be that desparate for friendship --- could you? No - don't go. Obviously there is a problem. How do you know that if you go to this dinner - they'll be talking about you again and you're sitting there looking like a big idiot? How do you know they all won't just gang up on you and run you away?
Save your dignity and stay home and chill. Make other friends. Move on sweety --- there isn't no friendship worth keeping if they're stabbing you in the back. I will not only wish you luck honey --- I'll pray for you too.
Real friends don't talk on each other. Real friends don't stab each other in the back. You wouldn't feel uncomfortable around real friends. And you would be posting questions on the internet about you're "friends" if you wasn't sure.
2007-04-07 02:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by apache_lizz 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, in a way, she's right. it IS up to you on whether or not you will feel uncomfortable. I say, put all the hurt and anger aside, go have a good time, don't mention the problem to her or anyone else. Then a few days from now, call her and ask her politiely if you two can get together and talk about the problem. Don't ruin tonight over something petty.
2007-04-07 02:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to the dinner, if you can be civil towards each other for this evening but explain that you don't like being talked about behind your back and that if she was a true friend you would be able to tell you anything to your face! As there are a few other friends there if she doesn't want to speak to you then don't worry - you have more than one friend. Have a good time!
2007-04-07 02:32:52 · answer #6 · answered by willt246 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ouch how can you consider this girl your best friend?My best friends wouldnt even dare that to me.If they did I would know.
How did you confront her?did u do it with a raised voice or with a stressful tone?Probably your "best friend" got mad because she felt humiliated in front of your other friends because of the confrontation.Well i wouldnt blame you for confronting her but I also think that there are other ways of addressing what she did other than your means.
Well her reply to you doesnt show any hostility no ill feelings nor coldness towards you.Her statement probably meant that she already moved on from what happened.I thnik you should attend.is there any reason for you not to?I think she'll probably apologize to you.
Gud Luck!=)
2007-04-07 02:38:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey im a guy, I know she is one of your best friends and would not take her comments on board..you did the right thing to tell her what you heard and it nasty for comments to be made when there are no truth in them, Of course you were upset. If you didnt tell her one 2 one then she may of felt a little embarrassed..you sound young to me...hold your head up high...you go and have fun with the other friends...what goes around certainly does come around! and if it happens to another girl friend in your group then stay away from her...Good luck, Have fun tonite OK...Jamie 28yrs male
2007-04-07 02:42:58 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should stay home. Who knows how badly you are going to feel. If things are rocky between the two of you right now, then you are better off avoiding this get-together. She might act really rudely toward you. Until you guys smooth things out between you, then you might be better off not going. If she said things behind your back, who knows what she might say at the party. Well, good luck, but I highly advise you not to go, it may be better for the both of you to take some time away from each other.
P.S. If you don't want to go, then I think that answers your question right there. ;)
2007-04-07 02:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by Dana Mulder 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
she's angry with you??!!!
if she was such a best friend why was she yapping about you behind your back ??
bottom line..she was caught!!
she didn't expect to be!!
she's trying to get out of it....
and is trying to put the blame on you.
don't let that happen.
she should have been a better friend and she should have apologized profusely to you.
and she never should have been gossiping behind your back.
the problem is hers.she's not loyal!
i would not consider her a friend at all...she sounds like
a b*tch to me...as she said she intends to have a goodtime..
so she doesn't even care that she hurt you.
dump her.
don't attend the dinner...find something better to do.
cut her out of your life...
the world is full of wonderful people to make friends with..
find them.
2007-04-07 02:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by manhattanmaryanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋