Help, this is really getting me down...?

Question

Iv always been a really sensitive person and up until now that hasnt mattered but lately iv been finding it harder. For instance i sent my friend a card the other day, cos shes been a bit down lately, telling her how much of a great friend she was and id always be there, the usual, and she replied with something like 'hey, the idea isnt to make me cry, its to make me happy' she meant cry with happiness btw...and i know she didnt mean anything by it, i just felt hurt because it would have been nice to have a more grateful reply. Iv also been rejected by a few boys lately, all one after another and iv relised they were using me. Please dont say 'grow up' cos if your replies gonna be like that id rather u not bother...i just feel so low all the time, and even the smallest thing gets me upset, i suppose its my self confidence thats low, but i dont know how to improve it, please help?

Answer 1

Hi pet,

I am going through a tough time myself and have also felt how you do in the past. People used to say I was parnoid, which I guess may have been true, but like you, i took everything to heart...and then worried about it and made myself feel worse.

Your friend might be someone who can't take compliments easy and her only way to react was through a joke. I am like that too sometimes..I find it hard to take and give compliments and i worry about coming across as rude when i don't respond how i should.

It's so easy to fall into a pattern of over anaylsing what everyone says and usually picking out the bad things...or turning the positives into negitives...which i often did....but you have to either stop yourself from thinking about it...or say to yourself...it's not a reflection of me..but of them. I mean you did the right thing with your friend, it sounds nice and thoughful..so think to yourself.." i did the right thing and the good thing"...so you are in the clear..whatever way she responds is her choice but you can walk away knowing you did the right thing.

A lot of the time, finding mr right is so hard...and when you get "hit" by one negitive situation after another, it really takes it's toll. you are better than them though pet, don't let them use you...you are better off without them..do you really want to be accepted by people who can be so hurtful and use you? I know you don't..your too good for that!

Start thinking about yourself.. you give so much to others.give a nit to yourself..think about something you dream of doing and really go for it..believe in yourself!!:)

best of luck x

Answer 2

wow what a good friend you are! Dont you know that this is what makes you a wonderful person, that you care and and that you are different from a lot of other people in a good way. Here a tip to help you stop being so reactive to other peoples actions or words, try thinking of happiness as something that you create and decide to be for yourself, it is not dependant on other peoples actions or words. When you give or share or help someone it should be without expecting anything in return as most people unlike you dont know how to show how grateful they are their just not familiar with it. They dont feel to the same extent you do, nor do they think about how you will feel as a result of their actions. Give knowing that the universe will bring it back around again somehow, but dont expect it. Mysterious ways and all.

Boys dont make great soulmates they take a while to mature. Teenage boys are probably the roughest least sensitive species on the planet and dont expect them to understand you, you are a far more complex and interesting thing. Good news though they do mature eventually. And you have all the time in the world and your whole life in front of you which will be filled with amazing adventures and loves, and ups and downs, and happiness if you choose it. You are strong enough to make this true. Good tip to help you feel a bit more even keeled. Make sure you are eating properly and getting a bit of exercise, everyday. If you are not it will make you feel extra sensitive and off.
Dont hide your light, let it shine!
All the best and good luck!

Answer 3

I'm sorry you feel this way, I've been there. I was very sensitive most of my life. Always worrying about who liked me and who didn't. Always trying to please everyone.

I had no self-confidence and never allowed myself to enjoy the things I should have all because I was afraid I'd "fail". The reality was, there was nothing wrong with me. I was the one who was holding me back. I was the one who was missing out on life because I was afraid to try.

The first thing you need to do is start believing in yourself. Find things you enjoy and work at them. Don't worry so much about what other people think. The people in your life who matter will always love you. As for the rest, who really cares.

Can you talk to your parents or a teacher? If you have someone to confide in it helps a lot. Maybe you can find a counselor who can help you work through your feelings. It's a good place to start.

I found as I aged things got better. The older I got the more I realized how unimportant a lot of the things I worried about really were. The more I did, the more confident I became.

Your feelings aren't that unusual, you aren't that different from most of us. I wish you the best in life, take care of yourself. May God bless you with everything good.

Answer 4

We don't know much about you and some of us are not professionals. What I would recommend to you is to do things that will keep your mind off from negative thoughts for a while. Try some volunteering work or join a local club of some sort. Perhaps you might find new friends or a boyfriend who enjoys the same things you do.

Hang in there and dont rush things in your life. Spend a little extra time for yourself and not others. Buy those clothes you always wanted or get that haircut you admire in others. Do something great for yourself.

Answer 5

Dont worry, your not alone. I am really bad at making new friends, originating from bad experiences when i was younger, and i still dont have that many friends. All of my current friends have other groups of people they would prefer to be with, so im normally left on my own. Personally i just try and not let it bother me. I suppose i might be lucky in that i am a bit of a loner anyway, but i do have friends and people who care about me, even if not as much as other people and so im thankful for that. I had a similar thing where i spent a day helping a friend who was having trouble with her other friends, and all i got was a text the following day saying 'oh it all worked out in the end', not even a thanks. When i feel down i just listen to music(irrelivant but 'The Jam' and 'The Clash' have good lyrics that can make you think). Sorry for rambling, and thanks for proving to me im not the only one who had problems.

Answer 6

Just remember that all the boys or girls are not similar.Its your bad luck that you have been rejected by many boys.why dont you think on the other way that they are not meant for you--a nice girl like you.They even dont know any thing about a true relationship.Its your good luck that they reject you otherwise it would have been a miserable life for you.The real boy will come for you and at that time you will give thanks to God.And also to me.
About self confidence--you have to pray God and dedicate yourself to God--who is your actual lover.You will get peace of mind and side by side self confidence.Just remember its better to live alone --rather mixing with negative people.From whom you can get inspiration which can bring your upliftment --mix with them and share your feelings with them.

Answer 7

Don't let people get you down, when you are depressed everything is blown out of proportion, and we always think negatively. Why don't you try to think of positive things, also look at yourself in a mirror and say i love you, do this regularly and you will feel better about yourself, it is difficult but it works, i used to hate myself now i don't, find out in the community about confidence building classes.

Answer 8

You know that is awosome of you to do such great things for people and rember who cares what those boys say. Bedside you are so great. DOnt let people bring you down.
You say if that person going to hurt you. Rember you have so many things to do in life that is just isnt worth the tears.

Answer 9

I would suggest that you try Reiki, EFT and Bach Flowers. Reiki can be received freely by joining the Yahoo Group, Reiki_Path. EFT can be learnt by going to www.emofree.com and to know more about Bach Flowers, go to the free online course at:

http://floweressencesintro.onlinecourse.com/

where in a few simple lessons, you can learn how to select the right flower essence for yourself.

Wish you the best.

Answer 10

Ok, you may not want to hear this, but stop feeling sorry for yourself. Happiness comes from within. If you want to be down and depressed then wallow in that self pity, but if you want to be happy and upbeat, then purpose inside your own heart that you are gonna be happy and upbeat. Be happy with yourself. Realize that you are who and what you are and that your self esteem only depends on you and no-one else. It's those boys loss if they don't want to see your beauty, but you don't need them to tell you that or even your friends response to your card doesn't mean that you have to be down and depressed. Life is gonna be full of disappointment we just need to learn how to deal with it and go on with life and discard the negative. "Don't Worry, Be Happy"!!! :)