does he love me?

Question

he says he does.
we're engaged but i am soooo insecure due to v bad past relationships.
i find it so hard to belive that anyone could love me as i really don't love myself. help?

Answer 1

Well sweety, if he's marrying you - he must love you. Its understandable not to trust if you've had bad luck in the past. But don't make your future-husband pay for someone else's mistakes. Open your heart and give this guy a chance. Believe in God? Pray for strength, courage and guidance. Got family and friends? Go to them and pour your heart out. Get as much insight as you can. Just talking about it will make you feel better. And somebody might just tell you things that might just make sense to you.

It'll be all right honey. Be happy. You're getting married. Not many men will settle down - let alone marry. And for the part of not loving yourself.......don't have no shame in seeing a counselor okay? But use that only if the family and friends don't work out. There is this saying: Love yourself first. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself.

Good luck sweety.

Answer 2

The words of love are wonderful and necessary, but whether you are conscious of it or not, we all then must see if the words match up to the actions.... in other words, that is the only way we have of detecting the degree of love that someone might have for us.
If you are engaged then you must make sure it is a high degree of love that he has for you, before you take the next step and marry him. You will only know this if his words and deeds match up (so if he says he loves you and then he cheats or does not consider your needs or hits you, then you know there is a mismatch).
But that is only one half of the story.
You also have to feel the same way about him and your words and deeds have to match up. If you find that you say you love him and you feel you love him, but you are just as happy to not be with him, then take it as a warning flag. If you are falling over yourself to be with him and you can observe your actions being that you want to please him and make his life enriched, then that is a good sign. If you say you want to please him and make his life enriched, but find yourself doing things like avoiding some calls or making excuses for not doing things you think you should, then listen to those warnings. They are there for a reason.

One warning however is that if you do not love yourself, you will not be able to enrich his life as much as you should if you are wanting him to be in your life forever.... and in so doing, you are not enriching your own life. It is your ethical obligation to both you and to him, to seek help to find the love for yourself and to learn how to show yourself you have worth... The easy path is self pity and the hard path is the one with the diamonds at the end. Learn from your past relationships so you have taken something of value from them despite the hurt, and use those tools to make the future a progression beyond your past, not a repeat cycle.

Answer 3

Guys don't go around asking anybody to marry them. Hell, some guys cannot ever commit to something like that. You need some professional help with your issue, it might ruin your future marriage if you continue to hate yourself. There are many out there with the same problem, it is your choice if you will act on it and try to get better or be miserable for the rest of your life.

Answer 4

There's really no way for us to be 100% sure, but let's look at what we do know.

[1] He says he likes you
[2] He asked you to marry him
[3] You're insecure

Men don't ask women they don't have feelings for to marry them. We especially don't ask the skittish, insecure types unless we really like them.

And you admit that the only reason you doubt is because you've dealt with some jerks in the past.

So give him a chance.

Unless, of course, it's you that doesn't like him and are looking for an excuse to end it...

Answer 5

The real question is do you love him? Do you trust in him? Ask yourself these questions.Do you have anything that he might like?(like fame and fortune or something). Do you love yourself enough to love him? Do you know if he has ever cheated on you? There are many more questions but you probally don't need any more questions.These questions can help you answer your question.Though you should go to someone who can help you before you try this.Good Luck on your relationship!!!

Answer 6

Does he tell you that you are beautiful? Does he lay awake at night to see and hear you? Does he stand up for you? Does he buy you little things to see you smile? Even if you may not love yourself, don't stand in the way of someone else loving you. Through him alone you can learn to love yourself again. See what he see. What a truly beautifully person he will soon be happily married to.

Answer 7

You need to stay out of "relationships" with men until you can learn to love yourself. If you don't love YOU, why should anyone else? Stop depending on other people for your happiness. Woman up and get on with your life. You don't need a man to complete you. You MUST be a whole person by yourself 1st and foremost. Good Luck!

Answer 8

You really need to get over this, see someone and get professional help. If you don't, your insecurities will wreck your marriage and it will be your fault no matter what he does. It's not his fault about your bad past relationships, so it's not fair he has to put up with the results of them. Get this worked out before you get married, it's only fair to him.

Answer 9

Unless you are willing to be open and honest and share how you feel you will always be insecure If you are both adults and are in love just enjoy it Worry about other things like world hunger

Answer 10

I've been married to the same wonderful bloke for 26 years and still find it amazing that he chose me! I definitely got the best of this bargain and suggest you do the same. He's probably thinking the same as you - it's a matter of trust and amazement!