My cousin and I grew up together. The thing is I don't want her to be in my wedding, because of the way she acts. She is so disrespectful. She doesn't have any manners. The reason I don't want her in my wedding is that I think she will mess it up. Plus she doesn't want to pay for her attire. Am I wrong for not wanting her in my wedding even though we grew up together? (I really don't want her at the ceremony)
Am I wrong or just being mean?
2007-04-07 01:06:53 · 13 answers · asked by Lady L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She can afford the dress. She just don't want to pay for it. She wants everyone to take care of her.
2007-04-07 01:24:24 · update #1
If you've already invited her to be in your wedding, it will cause a greater rift if you disinvite her.
There's no reason anyone has to be in your wedding. It's your day. If she is going to be a problem, don't let her be in your wedding.
Unfortunately, etiquette suggests that you should at least invite her. If you feel she is going to behave badly, assign another relative to keep her in check--and if she (or anyone else, for that matter) starts a scene, she is to be escorted from the wedding.
If she wants to know why she isn't in your wedding ceremony, say something like, "We are limiting the number of attendants, and I chose people I knew would work well together and wanted to take on the responsibilities. I love you, but I think we are like oil and vinegar sometimes--and I need to be calm on my wedding day." If you still think she should be included, you can give her a reading to do or something.
2007-04-07 03:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by kimpenn09 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same situation at my wedding. My cousin was always the fave child, and expected all the attention. I certainly didn't want that to be the case at my wedding, so I invited her to it but she was not a b'maid!
My sister-in-law(brother's wife) had a similar sit. with her sister, and ended up letting her be a b'maid. This girl made her miserable the whole planning time & on the wedding day!
She really regretted having her there!
Remember, if this cousin is not married yet, she will have her day & can do it anyway she wants. If she is, she has already had her day, and this is yours! Don't let her take you hostage emotionally and give you a guilt trip over it! Make yourself happy & avoid anything or anyone you know could cause drama!
2007-04-07 08:53:31 · answer #2 · answered by valschmal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really don't HAVE to invite her to the wedding. But really, you should. At wedding times its not nice to be getting curses instead of blessings. Make one of your other cousins or someone close to you to keep an eye on her during a reception or ceremony and tell her something if she starts acting up! Also, keep ignoring her attempt to get you to pay for her attire and try and avoid her as much as possible.
P.S Congrats :P
2007-04-07 08:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by Smartie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want her in you wedding you already have your perfect excuse, obviously...if she doesn't pay for her dress, she won't have one, and therefore, with no dress she can't possibly be in the wedding ceremony, I would nicely explain to her that with the expenses a wedding cost already, you really don't have the extra to pay her way. of course there is always the chance she will then come up with the money herself, or someone else in the family will pay for it....but at least you yourself have an easy way out if they don't
2007-04-07 12:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not allow guilt to dictate who should be in your wedding party. She is invited, and that's the main thing. You don't need to ask her to be one of your attendants and you don't have to feel bad about your decision. If anyone questions why, just politely say "I knew she couldn't afford the dress and I didn't want to put her in that situation". That should appease anyone. It's your wedding, it's whatever you want to do, hon. Congratulations!
2007-04-07 08:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding, and it's up to your and your fiance to decide whom you want to share your special day with.
Having said that, if you have 20 cousins and you invite the other 19 and only exclude that one, it's bound to lead to bad blood in the family. Better to invite her and ignore her than to start a family feud that could last years.
2007-04-07 08:11:34 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong...this is your wedding..your very big day...u want to be happy..around the people u want to see..and if u wish not to upset u with her manners, then the best option is not to invite her.But make sure u can handle it if she holds grudges against u.good luck:)
2007-04-07 08:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by Beautiful 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing... even though she is being a pain in the ars now... image how much worst it would be if she was in your wedding.
2007-04-07 12:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You arent obligated to have ANYONE in your wedding. Its completely fine for you not to ask her.
However, I would invite her to the ceremony. More than likely she wouldnt do anything to disrupt your service.
2007-04-07 08:11:19 · answer #9 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. You can have whoever you want in the wedding.
If you don't trust her to not screw things up, then don't have her in the wedding.
2007-04-07 08:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋