How do i get my boyfriend to tell me what went on in his past & help him with is problem?

Question

ok my boyfriend is 13 and had some trouble in his past but he won't tell me what is up its like he is hidding it from me.like if he tells me ill dump him but i would never hurt him and i told him that and also he smokes weed (ENDO) to be specific and i keep tellin him to stop but all he says is its hard to stop. i told he needs to try cuz when we are on the phone sometimes he will sit there and smoke it and i can hear him cough all the time i have lost so many ppl in my family to smokin and i don't wanna lose him and when i ask him why he does it he just says it feels good i tell him to stop but he just won't im scared for him I LOVE HIM but just don't him to burn off his brain cells and gettin high when talkin to me wat do i do and how do i help him

Answer 1

tell him you love him, tell him if u dont stop i might have to actually dump u (but say it in a soft tone...), say if u think smoking makes u feel good then what about me, u think i feel good yur gonna die?, seriously boys h8 it when there in a position where they are hurting the girl.. but i am and im 13 so yea..

Answer 2

Shall I be honest? I will. Get him the hell out of the house. He needs actual air. You need to spend a lot of time with him in a non-smoker enviornment. Seeing no one smoke may convince him not to kill himself. Or when you are over at his house, explain to him what can happen. Slowly (because he may not be as smart as he used to be) take away his supply. Since it seems like he spends half his time smoking, take some of it away and throw it in the gutter or in front of the street. Tell him that good feeling is the feeling of impending death. (it may work, you may not want to be mean to him, but this is a last resort tactic)


Now to address his past. I seriously doubt that he will tell you this. Maybe someone in his family died when he was little. You cannot force this out of him. It is his business, leave it. That probably is whole reason he is smoking weed anyway.

Answer 3

You guy's are so young hon. I don't really think he can have any relationship type problems at that age. He could just be upset with his addiction to marijuana. But remember, you two are young, relationships that young don't go on forever. I'm sure for a few they have, but normally it doesn't. Heck I was 16 and I thought at first I was with the guy I was going to marry, in a 5 year relationship he went crazy, broke up with me, moved across the country and I ended up with the man I WILL marry now. Thank god. And the ex kept calling me ,trying to post messages to me trying to get me back. It's ridiculous.

All I am saying is those types of relationships don't last forever, they are a first love, and it's normal. But if you are persistant to pursue this, then try to get him to talk to someone about his marijuana use, like a school guidence counselor.

Answer 4

at 13 many boys and girls for that matter, start experimenting with alcohol and drugs. weed is not physically addictive, but one can become mentally and emotionally dependent on it. let him experiment a bit, but keep an eye on him and make sure that he is not over doing it or getting in to trouble with it. once you guys date for a long time he will open up to you, but he may be holding a very personal an hurtful secret. keep reminding him that you love him and that you are completely there for him and always be supportive of him and his feelings. he will come around.

Answer 5

Don't force things. Let him do what he like because if you don't you will make him feel stressed. Support his habits in a way that you also say your opinion, in a gentle way. As for the fact that he is not telling you his past it's probably because you tell him to do so. Give him space and time to trust you. He must know that you won't judge his past mistakes.

Answer 6

You used the word love. Overrated word in todays life. Your a teen. You think you know what love is. You might be close since you are posting this, but love is something big. Also have you ever been addicted. Try to get him to go to rehab they might help. If you really love him though force him to do it, cause even if he leaves you after it all at least you saved his life.

Answer 7

This child is 13 and already has a drug problem. And you feel you need him in your life WHY???

The truth is, honey, you can't help him. Anyone with a substance abuse problem can only help themselves. And it doesn't sound like he is ready to do that.

Considering the way he is at his young age, he probably comes from a very negligent family background. Believe me, you don't want to be involved with people like that.

Answer 8

Hi,
Well, since you love him... you should not force him... understand his reasons... ask him to stop.. take it away from him... show him other things in life that might wanna make him stop the habit. if you show him that you really love him ... then show him what happens to poeple who smoke weed... if he realizes that there is someone in the world besides himself who has feelings and cares about him he might stop for the sake of u... or anyone who shows that they care for him

- Dr.Luv -

Answer 9

It sounds like your boyfriend has problems. And if he says that he has problems and doesn't tell you what they are, you are headed for a relationship of turmoil and heartache. You can't help him with his problems he has to help himself, just support him and let him tell you in time, if you are going to stay with him then get ready for some emotional drainage.

Answer 10

For Gods sake. you just kids. Give me a break.