Why do so many stay at home moms criticize working moms?

Question

Whether it be here on Y! Answers or around town, all I receive is criticisim for not being a stay at home mom. I did stay at home for the first year but I decided the best interest for my family would be to finish my degree. Shouldn't all moms be working together? We do alot whether we are a SAHM or a working mom. Let's please stop with the criticism!

Vice versa on the question. Why do so many working moms criticize SAHM's?

Answer 1

I don't think it is right for either side to criticize the other. I have been a stay at home mom for my son's 1st year ( he will be one the 1 the end of the month). There are times when I wish I was at work. And there are times when I feel so blessed that I am able to provide for him 24/7. I don't think that everyone can be a stay at home mom. I used to not understand why women that were sahm complained so much saying their job was hard, now that the shoe is on the other foot, I know exactly why they complained. I wouldn't trade it for anything, although it is quite hard at times. But I do think that working moms have it just has hard as to stay at home moms do, b/c they go and put in at least 8 hours a day, then they come home and have to clean, cook, and take care of their child(ren) while also spending quality family time. I on the other hand am able to do all of those things throughout the day. I clean the house while my child naps, and we also own a business which I usually do my part of the office work after I put him down for a nap or after he goes to bed for the night. Which is so much easier for me. So don't criticize from either side is my opinion. I agree with you, we should be helping each other out with good parental advice.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I agree. It shouldn't matter whether a person decides to work or stay at home with their child. Really it depends on the situation if all moms could afford to stay at home they would. SAHM's i myself am one are lucky to be able to stay at home with our children but if it's a situation where both parents need to be making money to have enough to live off of each month then staying at home is not an option. I hear criticism too about WOHM's and it's just bs. We are all parents if work is a need then it has to be done. What's more important is having a child that won't get deprived in life. Not saying SAHM's deprive their kids but saying not everyone can afford to live off of one income especially these days. It depends on where the other spouse works and what their pay is. You don't have to stay at home in order to love and care for your children. I also want to add i give lots of credit to the mom's that work because not seeing your kid all day is hard! There are times when i need to go somewhere and the whole time im missing my son. I can imagine WOHM's are missing their babies all day and wondering what they are doing. Also, what about single mom's like they should stay at home with their child and providing that child with the help of other people's money because they have no money to support their children. SAHM's should be lucky they can be SAHM's and not critize other parents for things that are not a choice but a must have.

Answer 4

I enjoy being a working mom. It is hard work and right now with my husband's job situation... it is a must. In fact, I have noticed a lot more SAHM's returning to the workforce in our area. I am a teacher, so I have extended breaks and breaks that coincide with my sons' schedules. It works for me. It drives me crazy that people make judgment calls on my work status. I have been a part of groups in which people have said some pretty offensive stuff. I am not one of those people who try and impose my opinions on others, so I usually just brushed off those comments. In my situation, though, my mom and sister-in-law have pressured me to be a SAHM. When my mom finally got it through her head that her grandsons were fine, then she backed off. Now I am getting the tsk-tsk from my sister-in-law (who just had her first baby-- I have been a mom for several years) and it is getting old quick. I have not initiated any conflict but may have to tell her that if she wants to continue to have a friendship, that she will have to back off. I agree with the other posters. Why can't moms band together and use that collective energy to help those kids who aren't in good homes? We aren't getting any where by the comments and hateful emails! Focus that energy in a positive manner and we could fix lots of stuff in our world!

Answer 5

I am a stay-at-home mom, and I don't really critisize working mothers. It is all a matter of choice, and necessity. I realize that some mothers have to work to help provide for their family. I always wanted to be a home mother(my son is 2). But I know that sometimes you just have to go to work to make sure that you can provide for your children. I think that even working mothers can be great mothers, it all depends on how you spend the time you have with your children. You may have less time with your children, but if you know that you need to make the most of the time you have with them and try to be the best mother you can, then I can't critisize you. I am attending college and know what it feels like to have little time for family, but all for a better life later. You are admirable just for the sake that you are thiking about the future of your children/family and doing what is best for them. You may have to make sacrifices in the present, but you are thinking about the best outcome. Good luck to you and all that you do, and I have faith that your are doing the best that you can for your family. I think that just because you care enough to ask, that means that you must care deeply about your family, and that makes you better than a lot of mothers, SAH or not.

Answer 6

I am a SAHM myself and don't regret my decision, but I have many days where I wish I was able to get our more and have a job outside the home! I don't beseech those who work outside the home rather than staying home, as many families need the extra income and/or choose to opt for daycare as a solution for the "big picture" plan for their family. Every family has to make that decision for themselves. Only you know what is best for your family, and I do not think it is appropriate for others to pass judgment on your choice (especially people who don't even know you!).

One other option that you could also consider (if it would work with your college program) is to attend school part-time and stay at home part-time as well. (I myself work part-time from home). If you feel that are not getting enough time with your child right now, you might be able to continue to pursue your degree and also have that extra time with your child while he/she is still so young....I have 3 kids now (ages 1, 4, and 7) and I find myself wanting to cling on to my youngest and keep her little because I know I won't get the time back! :)

You are quite right that we moms HAVE to stick together (and I have both friends who are SAHM's and friends who work), so if you do not feel supported with your current friends, try to network and meet some more open-minded and supportive friends who will hang with you no matter what "track" you decide is best for your family.

All the best and congratulations on your family,

Lisa Anne

Answer 7

Screw them ! They are jealous that they are stupid to hold a real job! Most of them would love to get of their house but they wouldn't have a job that makes enought to afford paying a babysitter! You dont see those same people telling dads to stay home. You dont have to justify a career to anyone. They are the ones who are becoming the freaks we working moms are the norm now. Would I have wanted to stay at home if I had the choice? I really dont know. But I do know my kids wouldnt have anything to eat if I didnt work so who cares about them.

Answer 8

It amazes me that a mom would actually have the time to criticize anything---wouldn't you think that the kids would have all their time keeping mom busy?? I guess it might be the stupid stuff grown ups talk about when they think the marriage life is soooo great--can't wait to be married----then the real crap hits the fan and out of the misery comes stupid conversations. Oh well, ignore it.

Answer 9

I think it's just sometimes in the nature of women to be competitive and compare. It stems from insecurity and a desire to feel like they're a good mother. As long as you are a wonderful and attentive mother when you're with your children and they are in a great environment when they're not with you then you shouldn't feel guilty for pursuing your degree.

Answer 10

Jealous. Good for you for continuing your education. Your children should be the most important thing, but NOT the ONLY thing in your life. Women should respect the decisions of other women about what is best for them. CHOICE should not be taken away from any of us. Ignore the criticism and enjoy your life.