I just want answers from people who have actually lost a birth or adoptive parent to suicide. How do you deal with death now? My father commited suicide when I was a teenager, (i lived with him and my stepmother) and I have noticed that I am really nonchalant about death. It doesn't seem to bother me like it should. I feel bad for the people that were close to the person who died, but as far as I am concerned, it doesn't even bother me, I won't even shed a tear, and I am a big crybaby.
2007-04-06 17:53:48 · 9 answers · asked by OpalMine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
when my father died, i was devastated, we still don't know what was his breaking point, but we do know that he had mental problems from a long time ago. I believe that I have gone through the mourning process and all that, and yes i have talked to therapists, and all they want to do is give me drugs.
2007-04-06 18:09:01 · update #1
You have repressed your feeling about your father. Teens feel betrayed, guilty, responsible, sad, abandoned, anger, hopeless, helpless and a whole host of emotions when a suicide has happened. Probably the overpowering ones are guilt, responsibility, abandonment and anger. This is perfectly natural and normal. You probably shut down your feelings because they were too overpowering to deal with at such a young age. You need to discuss this with someone, preferably a trained professional.
2007-04-06 18:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my dad committed suicide when I was 10 a year after my mom died. It was not simply him killing himself and me finding him, going to live with messed up family members etc. The selfishness of the act is what still has an impact on me, many years later.
If I don't know the person I died, I don't really care that much, its the people that are left behind that I care about and feel for, the manner of the death also makes a difference.
When someone I know dies, it does have an impact on me, I do feel the pain and loss, and for the remaining family as well.
I wonder just how little you do care about it, because you make such a point of saying how it doesn't bother you at all... and it seems like you wonder if that is a "typical" reaction.
The details of your fathers suicde, make a diffenrece, how close you were to him, the past relationships, etc, so I can't say if it is "normal" or not the way ou feel.
It would be more of an issue if you find that you don't care about much of anything anymore. like all feelings are cut off, then I would say that something is off, you are missing out on parts of life that are beautiful.
That is not to say that you should have an emotional reaction to every story you hear about people dying... it is tragic for them and for thier families, and it can be a reminder for you just how short life can be,
and appreciate that you are still alive. I hope I helped and didn't go too far off task!
2007-04-06 20:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by Robert S. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "Who?" . It is not a demeaning statement but there is obviously something that keeps you blocks out the thought of accepting someone is dead. Something like a cushion which keeps you from getting hurt. People often deal with their problems in different ways, and sometimes in the wrong ways. Eg some ppl block out their problems so much that they develop Multiple personality disorders, or bipolar personality disorder or something. I'm not saying you have a personality disorder but there is something that keeps you from being emotional about death (i'm thinking even when you breakup you're not much affected by it? ) instead it resorts you to block out tthe hurt completely. This will come back and bite you in the *** in other ways.
You don't have to see a psychiatrist and go on meds or anything like that. A behavioural therapist would be good.
2007-04-06 18:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by Liz^24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say my mother committed suicide but we are still not sure, even after all these years.
When my father died I went to get my oil changed. I was on the phone will the funeral home as they were changing my oil.
Dad would have said to get my oil changed, he would still be dead when I was done.
We all act differently when people die. DO NOT feel bad about any of it.
2007-04-06 18:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom committed murder/suicide 10 years ago when I was 30. I felt like you... that it wasn't bothering me. But it got to me in different ways. Thoughts, anger, sadness, sorrow. I am just now 'talking' to my mom about things. I hated her all this time for taking my dad and not just herself. At least that would have made more sense. Be ready... it WILL hit you one day and when it does, let it go... let it out.. hopefully it will be cleansing to your heart and soul. Don't believe me if you must, but be ready. And when you start to break... don't beat yourself up for anything. This is all normal... including the denial. Best Wishes.
2007-04-06 18:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Valeria 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
no but i have a friend who has. she is pretty cool about things. but yeah shes pretty non-affected by death. she is lonely bc both parents died young, but one thing i can say is that she lives her life with such an overwhelming and fantastic amount of love, and it always to the fullest.
2007-04-06 17:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by nonphysical 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
not everyone freaks out over death... it is a natural progression of life... much like a cycle of a plant..
you are born.. you flourish.. you grow old .. you die
it doesn't bother me at all either.. mind you I am not in a hurry for my life to end... but when it does..I am ready
2007-04-06 17:59:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have a friend whos parent is dead and she doesent like people to talk bout' it
2007-04-06 18:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by Cradle_Dude 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go see a therapist (really)
2007-04-06 17:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by who 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋