Does it matter why you help others, or is the act and the results enough?

Question

I do volunteer work and give to charity. My reasons vary from wanting to help someone, to setting a good example for my son, to paying it forward, to just plain old fashioned guilt. Are the receivers of the "guilt"charity worse off than the receivers of the "wanting to help someone" charity?

Answer 1

I'm going to tell you a story, and you can then judge yourself however you like..... An amazing spiritual teacher named Ram Dass (I highly recommend you research him, you'll be surprised...) went to a guru. One of those buddhist on a mountain type of gurus, and Ram Dass (through an interpreter) asked the guru, "How do I find God?" and the guru said, "Help the people." Ram Dass thought that something had been lost in the translation, so he asked a different question, "How can I get closer to God?" and the guru said, "Feed the people." Ram Dass got a little flustered and thought, "Hmph, what does this guy know?!" (which is actually very funny.) Anyway, as his life went on and he meditated on it, he realized how right the guru was. You're doing God's work. I think that it wouldn't matter how you're feeling at the time. :)

Answer 2

It only matters if you care about achieving happiness as the giver and causing happiness in the receiver.

Giving out of guilt may allow you to rationalize that you've done your part, but it will always feel like self deception since you can always do more.

If the receiver knows or assumes it was given out of guilt, they will tend to feel entitled, and will also tend to be resentful of the giver.

How about if the giver is forced through taxation to provide charity? The giver will resent the taxes and will be less likely to give voluntarily because they'll tend to think it's the government's job to care for the poor. The receiver will feel entitled and be resentful they don't get more. Everyone looses.

Motive matters a great deal. If the giver's motive is love and the receiver receives the gift with a thankful heart, both parties can benefit greatly.

Answer 3

The charity is the same to the receiver for whatever reason it's being given. Giving to charity and volunteering is commendable no matter the reason. Questioning the value of your gift based on your motives shows you're probably a genuinely good person. Kudos.

Answer 4

I refuse to give out of "guilt." I am not guilty of anything where needy people are concerned. I did not cause the need, therefore, I am not guilty of it.

If you give me a dollar out of guilt or out of good will, the dollar is still a dollar, so your motives are your own. The only victim in "guilt" giving is the giver. They should deal with that problem before it ruins their lives.

My motivation for helping others is simply this: If someone has a need, and I have the wherewithal to help, I will.. or I will at least try to help. It's what motivated me to become a teacher and a librarian and to volunteer with the Red Cross and other areas in my community. It's what motivates me to do my best whatever job I have... currently, I am working for a small business.

Answer 5

The recievers are blessed no matter what the underlying reason to the giving- its the giver who has the issue if they are looking for and selfish reason for helping. Your reasons do not seem to fall into any of those catagories.
I dislike when people do charity work and then feel the need to brag about it like it was a huge sacrafice. Doing a good deed is something you NEVER feel the need to tell anyone else about for the sake of making yourself look good.

Answer 6

The recievers of "guilt charity" might not be worse off, but you might. If you do things out of guilt, even "good" things, your mind will eventually associate doing charity as a negitive thing, which might reduce your willingness to do good in the future for things you are positively compelled to do.

Answer 7

That depends if you actively interact with the charity recipients. If you're just a donator of money then it doesn't matter what your purpose was; it could have been a tax write-off for all anyone cares. If, on the other hand, someone were to style themselves a caregiver for charity (like someone who works with poor or handicapped people for example) they could do a lot of harm to someone if their motives were twisted.

Answer 8

I have done a lot of volunteer work, and I do it because I just want to help people. It gives me a good, warm feeling inside, when I help someone in need. I don't expect any reward, just the smile on their face is plenty for me.
Recently, I saw a man standing on a city street corner, with a cardboard sign.... it said, "Lost my job...have kids....need help....Thanks." I was riding in a car with a friend driving, and told the friend to go around the block and come back. I folded up some paper money, and as we pulled up to him, I handed it out the window. He said, "Thank you very much, sir."
I could tell that he was NOT a wino, wanting another drink, because the tone of his voice told me that he was serious.
I felt very good, that I gave to him.

Answer 9

You've probably heard it before but here goes: "The unexamined life is not worth living." It's good that you question your own motives. I look at giving in much the same manner as tending a garden. The better care you give it the better it grows. Growth is the goal. If the gifts you give others help them to thrive and grow---you're doing something right.Hope this helps.

Answer 10

At the end of the day, everyone can benefit from a little help. But wanting to help someone is better than guilt. Try to feel less guilt and more of let me give time to someone who needs it.