Late Thank You Notes?

Question

A bit of history first: Bought a house in May when I had a good job. Married in August; VERY small wedding. (siblings, parents & grandparents at a house). One week after my wedding, I lost my job unexpectedly. My husband is self employed and struggling. To be honest, it is/was very stressful and even now we struggle to pay bills and have food. (and we are a lot of debt) Thank you notes have been on my mind, but choice between food and bills & sending notes...well, food and bills have won out. I am amazed we still have a house and our marriage has lasted. :(
Anyways, now my Aunts & Uncles (who weren't at the wedding) are making snide remarks about not receiving a thank you note for their gift and why we didn't put any announcement in the paper about being married. I haven't seen these people in over 10 years and I do not know if they realize how bad it is for us financially.
Should I still send a thank you note, and borrow money for the costs? (after all this time)

I would call, but it is long distance and we have cell phones to save $$, so no long distance plan.
I am in Canada & stamps are 52 cents and, don't laugh... the $ store here closed.
I do like the newsletter idea, then it isnt as cheesy as "I heard you complained, so here is your darn thank you" feeling. Will be hard, we didn't have a Christmas due to $.
This is why we didn't have a big wedding; we DO budget well normally. I do not know why they even got us gifts; havent seen them in 10 years or talked to them. (they didnt call me when they came to where I lived either) That is why I was surprised to even GET a gift from them.

Answer 1

ugh! i'm tired of everyone feeling obligated to DO DO DO!!! it's ok!! taking care of YOU is the most important thing right now.

but, you CAN send out thank you notes without spending more than the cost of a stamp. here's how you do it, this late after the wedding::

open up microsoft word and make up a cute newsletter-type thing. one page. throw in a few pics if you can. UPDATE everyone on what has happened since the wedding. don't make it pessimistic, of course. stay upbeat. depending on your husband's industry, this thank you-newsletter can be some much-needed FREE advertising OR a way for you to get the word out that you're looking for a new job. be subtle on those topics, though!!

tell them what you exchanged for christmas, how you spent your first halloween, valentine's, etc. i know it may seem like you didn't do much, but TRY to remember a silly movie or special meal you shared.

convey that it's been a busy first year with a lot of changes. you're looking forward to many more years together. and most of all, you're thankful for the support and encouragement you received at your wedding. if your aunt and uncle got you something specific (a toaster) make a reference to it... "i'm not sure how we would have survived breakfast this past year without the super-duper toaster from aunt and uncle..." do NOT reference it if it was cash.

THEN, handwrite a SHORT specific thank you on the printed newsletter. tell your aunt and uncle that the gift is so appreciated, and you feel like no matter what hardships you may go through in your marriage you'll always have family to support and encourage you.

now--you don't HAVE to send these newsletters out to everyone. just the people who seem to think it's a big deal. but, if it was a small group, you might as well send them out to everyone--and STOP worrying about it!! :)

next on the list--start asking questions in the finances category!! :)

congrats!!

Answer 2

A friend of my husband and I's got married in April of 2006. They didnt send thank you cards until October for much the same reasons. When they did, they sent a letter and apologized for the lateness with a brief note of how things are going. We appreciated the thought even though it was so many months after. Personally though, we knew they were struggling financially and weren't to concerned about it. But it was definatley nice that they still acknowledged us.

Honestly, I think that you should still do it when you can afford it- even if its a year later. You dont want to seem ungrateful especially since I gather from your posting they didnt even go to the wedding. Its just rude not too. Just apologize for the lateness and thank them for whatever they got you. They will get over it. If you dont, chances are they will never be willing to do anything nice for you again. You never know when a time may come that you may need some help from those family members and this will come to mind. Dont burn your bridges - especially with family.

Answer 3

I would still try to find a way to send something acknowledging the gifts. Better late than never. If you can't afford actual thank you cards, it might be a nice idea to just get some nice plain paper and hand-write short letters to people thanking them for their gifts and apologizing for the lateness but certain circumstances have arisen that prevented you from sending out notes sooner. If your budget is too tight to pay for postage, at least give everyone a call to thank them, and maybe send a note at a later time when finances allow. You really should find some way to contact everyone though. No matter the circumstances you shouldn't leave everyone hanging.

Answer 4

Give people a call. Don't make it into a pity conversation though- say something like, "I'm sorry I don't have the ability to send out a personal note, but I had to give you a call to thank you for the gifts and support that you have given me in the last few months...."- just make sure you steer clear of going into details about how everything has kinda turned sour, instead focus on how much they have been of help to you. P.S. do NOT send a text of this or leave a voicemail, make sure you talk with them and make it personal.

Answer 5

Send them out as soon as possible, or at least within the next week or so. It is better late than never! :) My wedding was in November and I got all the thank you cards mailed out in January, although my shower was in October. The shower was only two weeks before the wedding, so I didn't have time between it and wedding planning. Then, my husband shipped off overseas... we had Thanksgiving, Christmas... plus, I had like, 90 and made them all very personal and wrote them all myself. So, a lot of people didn't get theirs until two months or so after the wedding, three after the shower. It would look more crappy if you didn't send them out at all, send 'em! :)

Answer 6

Darned right you should. As for the cost of thank you notes, you aren't kidding anyone. 39 cents/envelope (hurry before it goes up to 41), $3 for a packet of 25. The aunts and uncles and friends, etc won't care if it's fancy stationery or butcher paper - they just want to be acknowledged. Acknowledge them. The thought will come in handy later on.

Answer 7

been there done that. the people you see and talk to tell them thank you very much but circumstances have occurred that has delayed cards. they will understand but lets them know you thought of them and efforts. try having other family members talk to others if possible to explain circumstances. if not go to dollar store and send just the ones you need to. the dollar store sells 12 in a pack for 1.00. this might unruffled feathers.

Answer 8

If you have a house and an internet connection, you can afford to send a thank you note to someone who gave you a gift.

See if you can pick up a package of thank you notes at a dollar store. Better late than never.

Answer 9

Honey, it's not like you're waiting 10 years to send them. I'd much rather send/receive after a few months when things have settled and you are happy with what you've got.

Answer 10

WalMart has nice, plain postcards back in the craft section by fabrics. You can just use your new last name as the "picture" on one side. Your postage will be less, and the cards are inexpensive. Save money, save face.