Please help me theres been a death in the family!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Yesterday i found out that my grandfather diedsince my mom wasnt home by 5:00pm i went and called her but something like my instincts took over and they told me to run there so i did i went to the pay phone and my mom said she was at the airportand that my grandfatherdied then i went to basketball practice and my sis called me and told me that she had already left to central america to go bury him and yeah im sad im not relaly close to my mom but it did hurt me what happened so when my mom comes back what kind of things should i tell her to comfort her? she told me she felt badi was crying so now what do i do? she wont be back till next week wednesday and its only been a day? please give me advice of how things are when a family member has died

Answer 1

The only answer I can give to you is this,

take this moment to get to know your mom, she may not show it or even you may not show it but the two of you need each other more than you could ever imagine. cry with her, hold her and don't say a word, the feelings you two share in tears will tell it all.

Answer 2

If you can get to a library there are some good books you can read a little on grief. Otherwise, really, you just come from your heart! You can never go wrong then. It's not just what you say, it's being there quiet. Just being there is enough when you're grieving. Tell her you're very sad that she's hurting. Tell her you are praying for her. That God can help her. Read to her from your Bible if you can. 91st Psalm is very comforting.
Just be the sweet daughter you sound like you are and time will do the rest.
Try to keep your head up. It's tough when someone close passes on. I know.

Answer 3

Hi, my brother-in-law died 3 weeks ago. He would have been 46 this week. It was very sudden and a lot of people were in total shock. He was a Catholic priest and had many many friends. One of the best things you can do is to give your mom plenty of time to talk. She will talk when she is ready, so don't push her. I hope that shel also encourages you to talk about your grandfather. To remember all the good times you spent with him.

Unfortunately, only time will make the hurt a little easier. Perhaps this experience will bring you and your mom closer. It did for my husband and his two surviving siblings.

Answer 4

One thing to keep in mind is that there are no "right words" that you can say to take away her grief. The best thing to say is "I love you mom, I'm so sorry that you are hurting right now, is there anything I can do for you to help you with this situation?" The answer may possibly be "No." but at least you are acknowledging her feelings and offering to help out. Maybe make dinner for her when she gets back, clean her house up for her (since she probably had to leave in a hurry?, take her out to lunch or to get your nails done together, spend the day with her. What ever you are comfortable with and what ever she likes to do. Let her talk about her father and what she's going through if she wants to talk, and if she doesn't then don't force it. Time is what she needs right now to put everything in her mind at rest and in order.

Answer 5

My grandpa passed away last October and it was and still hard for all of us, including my kids. One thing that might help you is to get pictures of him and find out what was he liked, talk about him and all the memories you have, good and bad! but remember all the good things about him and if you feel sad and want to cry! then cry! and let your mom know that you are there for her and that its ok to be sad, tell your mom that you loved her. Believe or not at times something like this makes the family being more open about their feelings! My sympathy to you and your mom.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. the grief that your mom is feeling is normal. The anxiety that you are feeling is normal. This will pass with time. The best thing you can do is just to be there with your mom. If she wants to talk, let her. If she doesn't want to talk, do something else. If she wants to be alone, give her some space, but do check back in regularly. Talk with your sister if you can. Express your feelings. And be very gentle with each other during this difficult time. It will get better.

Answer 7

My grama died last week and I was pretty sad but i moved on quicker then say my dad did because it was his mother. I wasn't too close to her but i still cried some. Just make sure you give yourself plenty of space fore your own feelings but mostly people just need to cry and feel close to those who are living. Even though your not close to your mom you can be alittle extra kind let her tell you what she needs and just be a shoulder and an ear. Remember the good times and laugh love and cry if you want too. just love. THey are in a better place .

Answer 8

Well, My grandfather past away almost a year ago, 5 days after i had visited him, 7 days before my 18th birthday. I don't think you can honestly do much, just be there and take to your mom, let her know your sorry. Basically just be there and let her know your there to listen or to give a shoulder to cry on. I know that doesn't seem like much but it can mean the world to someone!

Answer 9

Personally I think that your mom was wrong by Bering him without you even though you guys were not close. I think you
should just tell your mom how you feel, and tell her to think of the good times she had with him. Also tell her that things happen for a reason that's what I try to think when something upsetting happens to me. You have perfect reason to cry, I think your mom said she felt bad that you were crying because she knows you weren't close and she knew you felt pain for her.

Answer 10

I'm sorry about the death and the relationship with your mother. I don't know what i would do without my mom. I would just say comforting things, Things that you would want to be told when someone dies. Then maybe you can start a brand new relationship with her. good luck