Are there coping strategies to stop ruminating?

Question

I had a painful interaction about a month ago with one of my grown nieces (who is very important to me). I'm depressed and ruminating a lot--doing a lot of self destructive, self abusive thinking. When I'm busy, it temporarily stops, but then the ruminating returns sooner or later during the day. I don't have enough professional help at the moment. The ruminating is leading to a very bad emotional place. When I do talk about my negative thoughts, I don't seem to get the support I need and it's getting worse. Now I feel too vulnerable about these thoughts to talk about them. I was already depressed before this happened. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Answer 1

You understand how you currently feel. You understand what you do not want.

I would like you to understand that your thoughts are very powerful. You are attracting everything that you experience because of what you think.

The Law of Attraction says that like attracts like.

The good news is that you have the power to change your thoughts. This gives you the power to think about things you want. This gives you the power to focus on thoughts that uplift you and give you joy.

For you, it is not important how you will get there. It is important for you to know how you want to feel. It is important for you to know how you would like things to be.

This will require you to seriously pay attention to good things about yourself. Good things about your nieces. You are at a point of depression and grief, but you will use your emotions as your guidance system to feel your way to a better place.

Today, believe that you are an awesome loving beautiful person. You are attracting the answers you seek.

Today, refocus your thoughts to positive loving ones, and this is very important >>>> do not contradict your positive thoughts with negativity.

(i.e., I want a better relationship with my nieces, BUT, they will not allow it.)

See? Think the first part of that sentence. Not the second part.

Feel the slightest hope within you. Nurture that.

Best wishes to you!


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Answer 2

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Answer 3

I've gotta say that i am really impressed with the wisdom here that was expressed by a couple folks as they recommended the exact same things I teach folks in therapy-1) thought stopping and 2) scheduling (and limiting) dwelling time. I would elaborate the scheduling of "dwelling time" to include structuring the "worries" by applying the Problem Solving Process which is a series of steps with which you attack the problem in question (or prioritize the problems first for chronic dwellers). The steps are as follows:
1) Define the problem from as many angles as you can
2) Generate as many possible alternatives to address the situation, even those you may never decide to try
3) Choose a response to try that you think is the best based on what you know NOW and who you are and what your values are
4) Implement the response
5) Evaluate the outcome

Be sure to remind yourself throughout the day when you STOP the dwelling thoughts that you will have time set aside later in the day or the next day to dwell-setting a particular 30 minute block of time aside daily helps you gain control over when and how long you will allow yourself to worry/dwell.
Beyond this is more complicated cognitive restructuring, but an excellent reference book written for lay people but used by professionals too is Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy by Burns. It's available in paperback almost everywhere.

Answer 4

Rumination is a common part of depression and anxiety. There are several "coping strategies" you can use, but unfortunately this medium does not allow for a thorough explanation of all of them.

I would suggest going to a bookstore and looking for a self-help book with worksheets. One book that is helpful is called "The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook." It has handouts you can use and has specific instructions on what types of strategies will work best for you. It is based on cognitive behavioral theories and has empirical evidence to support some of the techniques.

David Barlow, Ph.D. is also an expert in the field of anxiety and has some self-help books out.

Finally, ruminative thinking tends to have a very biological component to it and you may want to consider seeing your physician about an antidepressant medication and a referral to a mental health professional, if you are not already seeing one.

Answer 5

When alone, go to your journal daily, and write whatever comes to you. However, set a timer for say, 1/2 hr. to 1 hr. When the timer dings, put your journal away, and choose to do and think of other things.

It helps me to keep my hands busy, as this occupies my mind as well. (crochet or drawing or working with wood)

I also purpose to read, and to ponder thoughts about life, (In the Bible I read Psalms and Proverbs, choosing one thought to think back on over the day).

When you recognize the ruminating has returned, close your eyes for a long second, and audibly say "STOP". As you open your eyes choose consciously to think on other things.

These four things you can do on your own without costing any money. Beyond these, please be sure you are eating at regular times, sleeping at regular hours, going outside for a walk or exercise daily (whatever the weather), and communicating with others during each day. Each of these things work together to combat depression, and to help round-out your thinking.

Answer 6

i suggest these things: fresh air , excersize, staying busy. staying positive, reading uplifting books, and good meds.

also, you may want to employ thought stopping practices.i learned to , when i realised i was having circular thought, to visualise a big red stop sigh coming into my view, then tell yourself to STOP the thought cycle. and force yourself to move onto something else. it really works :)

Answer 7

There are many people who would laugh at the possibility of altering their fates. This is due to the fact that it believes that no one gets more that exactly what is put in his fate.