My distant cousin is getting married, I don't even know her. I was not invited, but my mom was. Mom wants to bring me as her guest. I said absolutely not. Because I am a relative, I should not go unless I was invited. I feel this would be embarassing for the bride & groom. They would feel funny for having not invited me in the first place. I'm not at all mad that I wasn't invited, but my mom thinks I'm wrong for not going as her guest. Do you think I should go as a guest?
2007-04-06 10:50:39 · 9 answers · asked by J M 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
People seem to not be understanding what I'm asking. I did not want to be invited and am not mad that I wasn't. I don't live with my mother, I am an adult with adult children of my own.
I feel if you are invited to bring a guest it shouldn't be somebody who would potentially be a guest. I think my cousin will feel embarrassed if I go as my mom's guest and then other cousin's are there, that were invited. If they wanted me there, they would have invited me. If it was a matter of guest count, they could have had both my mom's and my invitations to not be 'and guest'.
2007-04-06 14:29:46 · update #1
As others have said, if your mother was invited by herself, of course you should not go. If the invitation was to her 'and guest', then it is your choice. I can understand your reluctance however, as people might not realize that you are there as your mother's 'escort' and wonder why one cousin was invited but the others weren't.
Mind you... lately I've been attending funerals of total strangers because my parents wouldn't be able to attend if I didn't take them, and no one has ever questioned my presence! So if you do decide to go, have a wonderful time and don't worry about it :)
2007-04-06 11:16:08 · answer #1 · answered by endorable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say to go as your mom's guest. I have a very very very large family and have quite a few cousins I only met once (at a different cousin's wedding) when I was about 6 and I was the flower girl. They are quite a bit older than I am. (When I was the flower girl they were about 16-18 ish?) I am inviting their parents, seeing as I have met them more times but the kids....never seen them since. If I heard they wanted to come (or remembered who I was...I'd invite them) but otherwise I would be happy that they cared enough to come as their mother's guest. They will appreciate you there. They probably didnt send you an invite because they think you dont know they exist (sometimes true of distant cousins) or thought you probably would not be intrested in attending. Go the wedding, have a good time!
2007-04-06 11:38:04 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mother was invited with a guest, then yes it's appropriate for you to attend with your mother. If your mother wasn't invited with a guest, then know it isn't appropriate. I don't think your cousin will feel uncomfortable if you attend as a your mother's guest as long as she is invited with one. In most cases, distant cousins are only excluded to manage the guest lists and costs, not because they wouldn't want them to attend. If you feel that concerned about, you can always have your mother ask your cousin's mother if she feels it would be appropriate to bring you as her guest.
2007-04-06 11:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your mothers invitation said "and guest" then yes, you should go. I did not invite any of my counsins to my wedding, just their parents as our family is very big. I don't think they would think anything about you being there. However, if your mothers invite was addressed to only her, No you should not go. Wedding invites shouldn't imply that a guest is invited as well. This would be rude for her to bring you.
2007-04-06 10:57:44 · answer #4 · answered by PhantomRN 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She probably doesn't know for sure that you live together, so to be on the safe side she has her bring a "guest" knowing that she'd bring you. Eh? Maybe. But I don't think you should get bent out of shape about it. It should be fine if you went along with your own mother. I'd go. Good luck! And if you go... have fun! Weddings are great. :)
2007-04-06 11:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by cinney_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't even KNOW her and you are expecting to get an invite?
I would go as a guest.
2007-04-06 13:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course you should! That's the kind of thing that just happens with distant relative weddings - but go, you'll have fun and get to know those relatives of yours!
2007-04-06 13:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not as a guest no, I think you should just go.
2007-04-06 10:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should go. I don't think you should be embarrassed, since you don't even know this person.
2007-04-06 10:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by claireag 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋