I have three little kids, and I am single. My one child was running around the church (believe me I didn't her to do that, but I had the other two kids as well.
Well the pastor wife came to me telling me that I should control my children, they shouldn't be running around the church.
That takes attention off from the message and what is going on at the church.
Would you be offended?
Would you continue going to the church?
They don't have a nursery.
Should I continue visiting?
2007-04-06 10:03:13 · 30 answers · asked by astrafi 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I would be offended, and never return, but church is a place of worship, not just for you but everyone who attends. If I was attending and your child was running around, it would distract me and I would be offended as well. if you want to attend anywhere you have to control your kids.
2007-04-06 10:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Speak with the Pastor about the problem and ask if there is someone who might help you. Most Pastors and their wives understand that little ones will act up in church.
If the Pastor doesn't have any suggestions that will help try finding another church that either has a nursery and children's church or that will help with your problem.
Another possible solution would be to offer to get involved. There is no nursery... So offer to do nursery duty one Sunday a month if they can find others who will help also. Small churches often have a problem with having too many jobs and not enough people who are willing to commit to help one or two Sundays a month.
As far as being offended consider the fact that your children may have been distracting many others from the message before becoming offended.
2007-04-06 17:41:34 · answer #2 · answered by Chaplain John 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the pastor's wife is right that your child shouldn't have been running around the church. You have three children and are responsible for each of them, not just two out of three.
That said, change churches. I'm not really seeing any options for you at the current church. You want a church that meets your family's needs and that one isn't it. For example, my church has four ways to honor children while others worship peacefully: a nursery, children's classes for prek and up during services, a soundproof closed glass room at the back of the church "family room" (with comfortable chairs and toys!), and an outside courtyard with a speaker so one can sit outside with children and still hear services if preferred.
This is the sort of thing you need. Look for it. Demand it. Single parents have a right to worship too. I am a single mom, and if it weren't for my church, I would never have non-working time away from my son.
You need a place where single parents are valued same as anyone else, where children are appreciated and served, and has compassionate and friendly staff. I have it. It exists. Find it.
On the off chance that nothing of the sort truly exists near you, try an internet church...like religious homeschooling if you have to...and connect with the community around you in some different way.
2007-04-06 17:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by AJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a horrible experience for someone to have to go through. It's funny in a way, and extremely embarassing in another. If everyone let their children run around while church services were going on, then it would be like a circus, so it's understandable that it's frowned upon by the church directors. On the other hand, perhaps the church needed a little stirring up by a hyperactive child.
But, you shouldn't go back to that church, or any other. You should set a better example for your children than that. Instead of going to church and wasting your time listening to some preacher talking about things he doesn't know about, why not spend some time learning about what the Bible is really about?
Who knows, if you know what to really expect, you might even recognize the Messiah when he says, "Hello."
Regards,
Chris
2007-04-06 17:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by ChrisJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be offended if it was done in love and not judgmentally. The way I see it you have one of two choices. You can find another church with a nursery or volunteer to be the nursery worker. I would make sure that there is a speaker in the room so that you can hear the message while watching the children. I would pray and ask the Lord what church you should attend. The Lord may be able to use you there to help others with their children or you may need to go somewhere else to get the teaching and training you need now to help others later. The Lord knows what is best for you and your family. May God bless you and your family and help you do what is His will for your life.
2007-04-06 19:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by Pastor Rick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Messiah is still looking. Find another church if you want to continue going that has a place for children. I would be offended. The pastor's wife has no position in that church, does she? Sounds like she is driving people away. What did Jesus say about children?
2007-04-07 09:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by meganzopf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say she has a lot of nerve. It's hard for families with small children to come to church without the aid of a nursery. She should have been thankful that you were there at all. Did she offer to help you with your load? It doesn't sound like it.
Many churches are child-friendly and they understand that children cannot always be controlled. The ones that don't, lose families with small children and, with it, the future of the church itself.
I am reminded of Jesus' apostles, behaving as body guards and trying to keep the kids from him but he told them off, letting the kids come to him.
If the pastor's wife feels that her husband's message was threatened by your child, perhaps his message was not that strong in the first place.
I say find yourself a child-friendly church that has a nursery and no need for body guards against young families.
2007-04-06 17:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have young children , it can be very hard to "control" them during a service, so I would suggest that you talk to the pastor about getting a nursery so that your very young children can be taken care of. If this is not an option find a church that does have one. Children should have a special place for them to go, not just to be taken care of- but also taught the word of God- does your church have a sunday school for young children?
2007-04-06 17:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please continue going. Maybe visit other churches to see if you are more comfortable. Remember that churches are made up of imperfect people (although I know some "Christians" who believe they are). The support system a church can provide can be quite amazing, especially for single parents. If there is no other options, by all means keep going to that church. If it happens again, so what. Do what you know is right for you and your children.
2007-04-06 17:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by harley_wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another Church.
One with less Legalistic tendencies.
But before you leave make sure some people in the congregation know why you are leaving.
Right out loud in public.
One good turn deserves another.
She likes to cause trouble, give her something to think about.
If not told, people continue to do the same old things. They never learn not to do offensive things if they are not warned.
She also is not above the law.
Besides you don't need that kind of church.
Sounds like a baptist church.
Sometimes I carry the fiery sword.
2007-04-06 17:15:11 · answer #10 · answered by chris p 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of churches get caught up in the look of Christianity while missing the point of it.
I would look at a different church. It is one thing to offer help to a mother in need, it is quite another to just criticize.
As a father of 2 (2 and 4) I am with you and will pray that you will find a comfortable and supportive home church.
2007-04-06 17:09:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋