What do "you" do when your child punches you?

Question

If you have delt with this matter, I would appreciate your honest opinion. My friend and I are having a debate on older children stricking their parents and what most people would do about it.

Answer 1

Hitting the child would not be the answer, as two "wrongs" don't make a right. You hitting them, but telling them not to hit you, is confusing.
Talk to them. Tell them why it's not acceptable to not only hit you, but others as well. Punish them. Take something away that they love...don't let them go out...instead of punishing physical with physical, take something away they enjoy...

Answer 2

Well, it really depends on the age. You say older children, are you talking about teenager or 9 years old? This would make a differnece in how I would personally handle the matter. I think that young children need to be taught that it is not nice OR repectful to hit another individual PERIOD. If they are 9ish they should know better at that point than to be hitting anyone for any reason, I would probably set some form of punishment that would be detrimental to the child (meaning that if you take their favorite item or activity away they view this as the end of the world-that's what I mean by detrimental) If it was a teen I would IMMEDIAtELY call the police and have them charged with assault the very first time they hit me. There is NO room for negotiation when it comes to a teen being abusive. If you let them get away with it once they will likely do this again and the aggressiveness can be much more abusive.

Answer 3

If a child punches you, it could be a reflection of their environment. Where have they seen hitting before? Could you have been punched by your spouse or anyone else that the child witnessed? The child could have been influenced by what he or she witnessed at school, on television, or while playing a video game. Regardless, not only is it inappropriate... it's against the law and is punishable by the courts. If a parent can not physically control their children, he or she has to do the "tough love" and file a complaint with the police department if the behavior is repeated. If a serious injury results to the parent, you would simply have to press charges or continue to be a punching bag. I work with potentially violent children with behavioral disorders... you probably should have your child evaluated by a professional if he or she would punch, hit, or kick you. Many of these problems are rooted in a depression... once treated for depression, many of these children improve their behavior.

Answer 4

Well, what is "older"? Teens? Hopefully by then they'd have learned never to try that. For my child, she tried it once in anger - quite honestly I looked her dead in the eye like she had lost her mind, and all I said was "GO TO YOUR ROOM." She knew she'd made a mistake, and came out full of tears and apologies.

For an teenage child to be hitting a parent, there are some serious issues going on - whether that's respect, anger, whatever. Handling the event is not going to cover it - you have to get to the root of the cause. I would recommend a severe punishment - like remove TV, unplug computer, impound car, lol - huge loss of priveleges, unless it was an actual assault, in which case you call the police and have them come and get the kid. If they'd assault a parent, there's no limit to their aggression of strangers/peers.

That's just what I'd do.

Answer 5

If you hit your kid, than the kid will only believe that violence is the answer. It's sending a mixed message to him.

If I had a kid and he were to hit me, I'd make it very clear that doing so is a very disrespectful action to commit. I have enough respect for him to not hit him though. Through my own actions he will learn to understand that other people have emotions just like him, and that his actions can affect other people in positive and negative ways.

It's truly not about punishment. I don't believe that solves anything. I believe that if my kid were to hit me if he did not fear what would happen, there is a big problem. I would raise my kids to have no will to do such a thing. They would not have to fear me, and I would not want them too. They would simply not want to hurt me or anyone else because of them understand that they have emotions too.

The concept of only doing things to others that you would in turn do to yourself is fair thought and is something I'd teach my kids from the start.

Answer 6

the first thing i do is fight the urge to punch back!! what you do depends on the age of the child. under 7or8, i would start with time out...it worked for my 6 year old. if they are older, take away privileges(video games, computer time etc..).this worked for my 13 yr old.

the worst thing to do is to strike back. this just teaches your child to hit when someone does something they don't like, or when they are angry.

there is also something called "tough love". hitting is assault, and is against the law. if my son hit me on more that one occasion(developing a pattern), i would notify the police and have the s**t scared out of him. if this didn't work, i would seek psychiatric help for him (and me).

Answer 7

My child learned early on that hitting, even by accident, got his hand trapped in mine, with an explanation that hitting hurts, and that hitting mom was NOT acceptable. No child should be allowed to strike parents, even accidentally. Even young children can have their hands "caught" and be given a firm "no".

Answer 8

I have dealt with this and I assure you having the child treated like a criminal is what it sometimes takes to prove a point. He spent the night in a jail cell, alone on a steal bed when he was 12. He learned fast what hitting me would get him. I agree we both lost our tempers that day but I never hit him I was trying to get him to go to his room, I yelled at him and he slapped me. I called 911 and had a cop come out and he spent the night in the local jail. He learned that might be what it takes.

Answer 9

My 12 yr old stepdaughter used to hit when she got mad, about 2 yrs ago. We started yanking every priviledge she had away every time she did it, she has quite the temper last yr she joined the band and plays the drum. I think she takes it out on her drum now. Hitting back isn't the answer that makes you no better then your kid

Answer 10

How old do you mean? When my 15month old punches me I just move her hands down by her side and say calmly but firmly 'No, we dont hit, thats not nice' and she soon stops after being told about twice. I dont know for older kids though, sorry.