My mom and I have been like best friends, so close and happy that I find it hard to believe that she is no more. I had left overseas though she didn't want me to and she had been a heart patient since three years but all I wanted in life was to give her everything in life that she desired and live forever with me than suffer. She had a lot of financial hardships and trauma and I worked as much as I coudl to relieve that pain. I flew down immediately to be with her for her surgery and we thought she would live for many years more after her pacemaker installation, so this came as a huge shock to me to see her suddenly shake like a leaf, nothing said and die in split seconds (less than a minute) whilst watching tele. How could this happen and why? My anger, sadness, loss and emptiness is making me go crazy and my dad though strong is breaking up too, what do i do cos I want her back with me and I feel have not had my chance to give her more and make her happier. Please help??
2007-04-06 09:13:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry. This is indeed a very traumatic thing to go through. I hope that you and your father are close...surely you will be relying on each other for emotional support in these next few days, months, etc. Though it is very sudden, know that she must have derived great solace from having you with her during her surgery and after too. Clearly, from what you said, she enjoyed having you near. I am sure too that she knew how you felt about her and what you were trying to do...so take one day at a time. Eventually the bite of losing her will be less immediate to you. Know that there are many things to look forward to in your future and people who need you, like your dad. "Breaking up" is okay right now...you'll find the pieces to regroup emotionally later.
2007-04-06 09:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. What I want you to know is that all the emotions that you feel are valid. In time I am so very sure when you think of your mother that words like anger, sadness, and loss will be the furthest things on your mind.
I sat by a loved ones beside for weeks as they were dying from brain cancer. I was a wreck yet still happy to be there. One day after weeks of being by that beside I had an emergency that I HAD to fix. While I was away they perished. I was so upset. I felt like I had been cheated. I had prepared myself to be there for them. But I wasn't. You wanna talk about anger, sadness, and loss. But time has passed and now when I think of them I think of their life. I think of who she was. I laugh. I feel good. I want to say something to you and I pray I do not offend. How lucky are you? You gave a gift to your mother. Just by being their. In time the pay with ease.
2007-04-06 09:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by Laceyjames 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have my deepest condolences.
For me, the hardest thing about the death of a loved one is the things left unsaid. Your anger, shock and sadness are normal parts of grieving.
I've sat with loved ones as they died. For me, it was some comfort to say the things i always wanted to say. I suspect you never got the chance.
You and your dad need to cling to each other. The best way I found to work through grief is to confront your lose. Grief is a time to remember, talk and accept the pain of your loss. Stiff upper lip doesn't cut it. You need to grieve. Grieve in your own way, in your own time. But you must grieve. That's the only way to move forward in your lives.
Good luck to you.
2007-04-06 09:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by mediahoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my deepest sympathies...sounds like you had a wonderful relationship...when my father passed it was just there...a phone call that he had...blah blah...the following December (had passed in March) I was actually dialing his number to wish him a happy birthday...
your chance now to give her more...to make her happier...is to live life to the fullest...carry her with you on your own journey...pass her on to your children....
it seems impossible right now...I know...but she would never have wanted to see you cry...nor your father fall apart...hold each other, remember her with a smile...and know that she will be with you always...
2007-04-06 09:38:24 · answer #4 · answered by Clif S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE get therapy
2007-04-06 09:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋