How Does One Live Life Without Expectations & Not Become A Doormat?

Question

Don't say you can't...

If you think you can't than play devil's advocate...please...

KAEHYA20: Thanks for the missing link!

Answer 1

By living life without expectations I find myself incapable of being disappointed. Quite the opposite is true. My life is filled with wonder and surprise because even the simplest of things are capable of moving me. Expectations are the bane of imagination and creativity and hinder relationships. I think those with expectations concerning how people should act or behave or how well their garden should grow or how many miles their car should last, spend most of their lives disappointed and are much more likely to be used as a doormat because they are so easily manipulated by unscrupulous people promising to fulfill their desires. Strength and wisdom comes from an open mind and there is no more open a mind then one without expectations. An open mind is also the most difficult to deceive or manipulate because there are no preconceived notions to play off of.

Answer 2

Living without expectations is very difficult, but, if you decide you will have not expectations concerning those in your life you need to learn something else. Having no expectations for the people around you does not require doing everything or responding to all their requests. You can have boundaries in your own life and leave everything outside of it to someone else. If it does not happen then so be it.

The bigger reality is you are not living without expectations but with negative ones. You expect they will not do, so you do. This is what makes you a doormat. Setting your personal boundaries knowing that some things will not get done and accepting that removes you as the doormat.

Answer 3

Wow.

It is easy to respect someone who would ask such a question.

Expecting the sun to come up does not make one a doormat.

Expecting others to live up to what most claim to be true or just or fair makes one a doormat in virtually every one of today's societies, local through global.

From our beginning on this cell of life in the cosmos.
Fair portion has been offered each applicant.
Participating accordingly is our only expectation.

Howerer very few of us partake accordingly and hence those without selfish ambition, motive or purpose in thier expectations become abused and stepped upon and this goes well beyond the suffereing of those of the human species.

Humanity is not humane, even to those few who are.
Civilization is not civil to those who seek to humbly commune.

Yet humble interrelationship, is our only true and underlying expectation and yes all to often this in and of itself makes one feel like a doormat, but don't fret.

You will not be forgotten.

Answer 4

I gotta say your questions definitely get the brain cells sparking! Well, first off you'd have to have my job! lol. Just kidding. To live life in a manner that transforms one into a mere vapor, a shadow, a wisp of wind that can hide ones actions and reactions. Plus to do so without "users" drooling over the prospect of having a new slave. This resembles the women of the 1600's. But even they had some expectations. Seems to me to live without expectations one would have to refrain from all self evaluation. No need to anticipate repercussions of your actions. Sounds kinda Gothic? So my answer is that to live without expectations you would need to be a metaphorical "ghost" and when action is forced on you become abrasive in attitude, so no one will want to be around you. Still doesn't answer why any one would want this?

Answer 5

Having expectations is a healthy way to live, as long as they are not unreasonable. I can't imagine living without them, (even though they are sometimes not met)! You can become a "doormat" with or without them. I think becoming a doormat is rather a separate issue...

Answer 6

Expectation is really nothing more than hope. You hope/expect people will treat you well. You hope/expect to get a raise at the end of the year. You hope/expect to have great kids. Etc, etc, etc.

It is very possible, but very difficult to live without hope/expectations. You must deal with what is, instead of what you hope/expect. It is the truest form of reality based living. You must deal with what is in front of you, without projecting expectations upon it. This can be the difference between merely surviving and the elegance of thriving.

Answer 7

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
......
Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.
....
See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the world as your self;
then you can care for all things.
.....
The gentlest thing in the world
overcomes the hardest thing in the world.
.........
A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.
A good scientist has freed himself of concepts
and keeps his mind open to what is.


--Tao Te Ching

Answer 8

helping others and enabling others are not the same thing, if you see someone beating up your grandmother, you would try to stop them, but you would not know what to expect from your actions. by telling a drug addict, no, i'm not going to give you money, but i will give you food and clothing. when a neighbors roof needs repair could we give them some money, or help out with the labor, we shouldn't expect anything in return........ but how do you think your neighbor will view you from then on?

i know this is basic level and maybe not exactly what you where asking, but these basics could lead to broader understandng

Answer 9

Just say no.

The people that use you, are doing it because like most predators they can spot a good victim. Don't be that victim. Say no. Decide what it is that you would agree to. Set boundaries that are realistic. That takes a learning process. Adjust to it and you'll cease to qualify as a 'good victim'.

Answer 10

whatever we continuously anticipate greater efficient for ourselves. it fairly is tough to existence with out expectancies, yet i think in case you merely stay it and say even though occurs occurs possibly you will get to the no expectation point. for the reason that we are continuously making plans in existence, the expectancies would be there, so in case you provide up making plans and stay for the 2nd possibly that facilitates. in any different case have relaxing attempting to verify the thank you to stay like that.