I was sexually abused when i was little by one of my neighbors. She was a few years older than me, we'd play "house" but she took it too far.
Now I'm in high school and am trying to be a normal teenager. I am having problems being in relationships. I want to do what everyone else my age does but I'm constantly pushing every guy I like away. Almost everyone I know thinks I'm a tease and calls me prude, but its not that I dont want to do anything its that I'm scared and cant help but think about that horrifying experience when i was little.
I dont know how to handle this and change things. I want to stop pushing away every guy i have feelings for. They always get confused when i tell them how i feel but wont even kiss them or anything else, even when i told them i want to.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
2007-04-06 07:40:40 · 15 answers · asked by Dance_with_meeee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've recently started seeing two therapists. But I also have sever social anxiety and don't know how to tell them.
If you have been in similar situations, any advice you can give would be great.
2007-04-06 07:48:44 · update #1
Awwww, I'm so sorry, doll! That sounds like a horrifying experience, and I"m sorry you had to go through that. If you need help with the issue, I would suggest talking to someone you trust - an adult, a pastor, a helpful friend ... etc.
My advice on the "guy thing" isn't to blurt out your past to every guy you have a relationship with ... but just to wait for a little bit. The right guy will come along who will care about you (not getting into your pants) and will want to know about you. Then, I would suggest opening yourself up to him, and letting him know about your past. He will be MUCH more understanding, hopefully, and will be happy to take it slow.
Hope this helps!
2007-04-06 07:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by DramaQ_02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case your fascinated besides ask him privately if he needs to go out - go with an section he's acquainted with and has been yet no longer too crowded, keep in innovations if he's shy particularly time with in simple terms you and him could get him out of his shell. in the starting up you would favor to be the single to commence conversations yet do not seem desprate. Oh and do not make hime sense like he's being shy. My very last peice of suggestion is have a freind call you after 20-1/2-hour in simple terms to ascertain your ok, and so that you may have an excuse for going. I.E. I gotta go someones in simple terms been rushed to medical institution enable us know the way it is going - CX
2016-11-26 23:14:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is a hard question and and all i can say is that you shouldn't care if people think your a prude or tease your just not conferable and that's okay if the person that you love/like thinks that not wanting to kiss them is weird then their not respecting you cuz your not comfortable and they shouldn't push you into doing something you don't want to.
Hope I helped
Bye=]
2007-04-06 07:47:03 · answer #3 · answered by Nicoleeeee:) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't just share this with anyone. If you are in a commited relationship I would def open up and share. My ex went through the same thing and for about 3 years he kept it a secret. He finally told me and a lot of our issues were resolved and I understood where he was coming from. Only share the info if it is necessary and something you think will help a relationship.
2007-04-06 07:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by q-n-a caka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say, every guy you have feelings for, sounds as if you have liked several. I don't think you need to get into this
discussion right away. You seem to like the guys and that is
normal. So you see that is a good start. Just let yourself be who you want to be. You can do it. This is now and that was the past. Good luck.
2007-04-06 07:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best advice isn't going to come from Yahoo Answers. You should talk with a mental health professional or some kind of therapist. They can help you deal with these issues of fear that arise from your past experiences.
2007-04-06 07:44:46 · answer #6 · answered by Tim C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't feel like you have to proove anything to anyone first off. The only poeple's opinions you should care about are the people who are youre friends and that love you and you love them back. But i think that when you're feeling this conection with someone its deffinitly important to let them know about your past. That way they can be more carefull and understanding about your behavior.
P.S- like most poeple above are saying i dont think you need to seek any profesional help. Only you can decide if you think you need that. I think you're fine.
2007-04-06 07:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, priest, rabbi, someone that you trust, and that you can confide in.
Do it now, while you can still make a difference in your life.
It is such a relief to get this off of your shoulders, and know that you are not all alone.
Best Wishes...
2007-04-06 07:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by Shane G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry. but don't push guys away just because of one thing that happened years ago. if you have really liked any of these guys you could have damaged these relationships. if you keep doing this you will never find a guy. sorry that is kind of harsh but you have to hear the facts in order to get your answers.
2007-04-14 07:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by love2read141 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell a guy about it then let him play house with you. You can be in charge and see that you can do things with him that feel good and don't hurt. It will heal you to start having hot sex.
2007-04-06 07:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by Ben Dover 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋