I had a great relationship with a girl for a couple years but it was long distance. Eventually we broke up because of the distance and timing in our lives. Not because we lost interest or fought, but because the distance was too stressful, we only saw each other about once a month.
We've both had other experiences since then but I've never been able to get her out of my head. She was, and still is, the best I've had. Recently she moved back to where I live and when she first got here she was still in another relationship with someone else. They fought all the time and eventually it ended badly about 3 months ago.
We've stayed friendly this whole time but over the last couple months the tension between us has picked up. I was out for drinks with her last week and we started talking about "us"....I told her how I felt about her, which came as a huge surprise to her, and she told me she's felt all the same things back. See additional comments below to hear the rest of the this
2007-04-06 06:05:03 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Then she started holding my hand, and getting physical with me, and she seemed really happy and excited about everything. This had never happened since we broke up since we'd never really discussed it in so much detail. We both had to leave and be at other places a few minutes later, but she wanted to get dinner a few nights later (Monday) and pick things up where we left off.
On Monday I speak to her and she tells me she said some things she didn't mean when she was drunk, loves spending time with me the way that we have been, and for now, wants to keep it exactly this way because she's not looking to get involved (at the moment, as said by her). Why the mixed messages and what's this all about? Did she say things she meant when she was drunk but is scared now? Did she just say them but not mean them (she doesn't usually say things she doesn't mean when she's drunk). What's the explanation for this?
2007-04-06 06:05:52 · update #1
It seems to me that she is probably afraid to get into a relationship with you again. You said you had a great relationship and the only reason you broke up was the distance between you. This must have hurt a lot. She probably has feelings for you but remembers how much it hurt when you broke up and doesn't want that to happen again.
Take it slow with her, show her she can trust you and give her time. But make sure she knows you were serious about everything you told her!! If she feels the same, she'll come around. Just don't pressure her!
2007-04-06 06:22:25 · answer #1 · answered by binemaeuschen22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that she may be feeling things that are scaring her. Like the emotions she feels for you might be overwhelming. It sounds like she tried to get over you by going out with a jerk and girls do that all the time. She probably has some trust issues and wants to be with you but she doesn't want to ruin any kind of great thing you two are starting to have again. Give her time and let her know that you really care and stuff. Don't try and force her into anything because it could scare her away. I would say she really does have feelings for you but serious relationships might be a hurdle of hers. Do you know her history? Does she have divorced parents? What is her home life like? These are some key questions you should be asking yourself. She sounds like a complicated girl.
2007-04-06 13:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may indeed have some feelings for you and is afraid. She just got out of a relationship, and may need space. You shouldn't push things with her, but let her know how much you care about her and how much you want to be there for her and try to make her happy. And also that when you two were in a long-distance relationship, you feel like you two didn't get a chance to really know eachother and get to spend as much time with eachother as you wanted, and that you really want to give it a chance...when she's ready.
2007-04-06 13:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by Android 18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always say more when under the influence, even if it were truthful or not. Since she explained to you about saying things she did not mean because of drinking, you need to accept this. For if the things she said were true she would have been able to say the same things while sober. I am sorry she built up your hopes just to bring them back down again. Good she was at least honest when sober. I hope you begin to feel better.
2007-04-06 13:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe due to her bad breakup with her ex, she is afraid to get into something serious with you right away. That is probably why she took back what she said. Give her some time to sort out how she feels and see if there is a future for you two. Don't rush her to decide if she wants to be with you right now! In the meantime, have fun and start looking at other fishes in the sea =) GOOD LUCK!
2007-04-06 13:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lonely Love 06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's probably all too overwhelming for her. She has just got out a relationship and is not ready to jump back in. Give her time, let her think things through. Maybe she thinks you may not have meant what you said because you were both under the influence of alcohol, and doesn't want to risk ruining your friendship by jumping in to a relationship ignited by alcohol?
2007-04-06 13:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you know when people are drunk their true feelings come out. So I think that she really did mean what she said but then when she was sober thought about it and decided it would be best if you guys just stayed friends. If you two dated and things went sour your realtionship would be ruined and she probably didn't want to take that chance.
2007-04-06 17:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with what she said sober.I know u don't want to except it but she is probably telling u the truth.If she was really afraid you'll know it in the next couple of weeks.Because she'll keep calling u alot.Woman that are afraid of a relationship can't help calling all the time.Due to they want to talk to the guy they really like.Good luck
2007-04-06 13:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she's afraid that she might've freaked you out by telling you how she felt. Alcohol loosens inhibitions right? And you say that she doesn't usually say things she doesn't mean, even when she's drunk? Give her some time and space to get over her ex, then proceed from there. Good luck.
2007-04-06 13:12:27 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be different things. It could be that she's not ready to get back with you again or is afraid that you guys may get together and it won't work out which will change things. Then again it could have been that she responded to what you said and thought about things thoroughly later and realized that you guys are better as friends.
2007-04-06 13:12:20 · answer #10 · answered by FSUgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋