Im getting married and my boyfriends side of the family want to do it their own way.?

Question

What should i do. I dont want to cause any drama but i feel like its my wedding and i should have it how i want it and not how they want it to be.

Answer 1

It IS your wedding, and unless they're forking over 100% of the wedding funds, the ONLY person who should have ANY say in what's going to happen at YOUR wedding is your fiance. End of story.

The fact of the matter is this: EVERYONE will have an opinion; you can take it or leave it. You are not obligated in any way to do anything you don't want to for your wedding.

Be true to yourself, be kind to your wedding party and attendants and ignore the rest. If people get mad, well fine...its one less mouth you have to feed at your reception!

Answer 2

You know... to echo what most of the people have said here, this is the bride's day. The wedding should be held the way the bride to be has always envisioned it. Its a day girls dream about since they are children. If the groom has been dreaming of how he wanted his wedding to go since he was a kid, you may want to reconsider the marriage.

But aside from that tradition, it's also the tradition that the bride's parents pay for the wedding. That doesnt happen so frequently today. Many families today split the cost, so you have two families fighting to have the wedding the way they envision it.

So what does that leave? If you want to have the wedding your way, you (and husband possibly) and your family should pay for the entire wedding. If both families are splitting the cost of the wedding, the groom's family will have some say in how it goes, whether you agree with their wishes or not.

Answer 3

Hi,
I had the same problem for my wedding. My husband's family wanted a Catholic wedding, but I'm an Atheist. I refused and I was being stubborn. I said I'd rather not marry if it's going to be their way. Maybe you should approach it differently. You should try to talk to your boyfriend and have him talk to his family. The most important factors here will be you and your boyfriend. Good questions to ask is how important is the way of the wedding? Next, ask yourself how much you will regret if you had not gotten the wedding your way. If you will TOTALLY regret it then just do it your way because weddings only happen once, normally :) Don't make the mistake of trying to make someone else happy. Think of yourself first. :) Hope things go well with your wedding and relationship.

Answer 4

You should be able to plan your wedding the way you want and people should be able to accept your decisions. Unfortunately sometimes people do not grasp that concept. If it is his parents (usually just the mom but sometimse dad too) who would like to assist in planning, give them one thing to plan such as the dj or the food or the reception. If it is anyone else, i would politely tell them that you have it covered and wont be needing any help at this time but if you suddenly do need some help you will let them know. That isnt being rude or brash about it.

Stick to your guns on how you really want it to be. If they keep on insisting a certain way tell them that you are getting married the way you want but if they arent pleased with your decision if they are willing to foot the bill for a second wedding that would be fine with you.

Some people just get too excited about weddings and try to push off their own ideas onto others. Sad but true!!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/yourweddingonabudget/join

Answer 5

Well, you are marrying a guy, right? Well, he has every right just as much as you to have the kind of wedding HE wants as well. The two of you just have to do some serious talking and compromising, go through the budget of what the two of you can afford - and go on from there. Be mature about it and DON'T cause the drama.

Answer 6

Your wedding day is about you and your husband....well, your husband-to-be. When his side of the family suggests something, just politely say you'll think about it....then do it the way you and your fiance agree on. If they ask about it later,just say "Oh, that was a nice suggestion, but we decided we would really love to do it this way instead."

Just remember to not shut out your fiance's opinion...some brides don't give the guy much of a say at all, and then his family members get pushy if they see what he wants isn't being listened to. But as long as the two of you are happy with how you want the wedding, that's what really matters.

Answer 7

Your right and you wouldn't be causing drama. Just explain to them that this is your day and that you appriciate thier ideas but that you want to do this your way. Also talk to your man and ask him to talk to his family and let him know that you nned his support, After all planning a wedding isn't the easyist thing to do. I planned mine and had the same issues as you. I understand your feelings completely and i just got married in july. Hope this helps you, Good luck.

Answer 8

You should absolutly have things the way that BOTH of you want. Before you completly shut down the ideas of his family listen to them and find out the reasons why. Then see if you can combine them with yours. If it is something you absolutly don't want then don't do it but if it is something small think if it will really change the day and if you or anyone else will really notice. My husband kept reminding me as long as we are married at the end of the day that is all that matters. The things that you worry so much about before are usually the things that no one notices or cares about.

Answer 9

I had alot of problems with my inlaws as well. I fought so hard to keep a calm tone and try to make everyone happy. After a few months of this, I realized that I was not happy. So, I planned my wedding with my husband and we told his parents to butt out, sent them invitation and waited to see if they would show up. It sounds harsh, and you may not have to be as hard as I was (they live in GA very religious, Im from NY not so religious) however this is YOUR wedding. Honey, I know it is important to both of you that you are getting married, but the Wedding is yours... he really wants the honeymoon (and there is nothing wrong with this). You have to do what makes you happy, what makes you feel like queen for a day, whatever it is that is going to make this the most important day of your life. Do not let your inlaws ruin this for you. Talk to your hubbie to be and tell him to talk to his parents. I was with my guy for 5 years before our wedding, and his parents never aproved of me... now we have a great realtionship (his parents and I) and part of that is because I stood up for myself and had the wedding I always dreamed of. Congrats on your wedding, my thoughts are with you as ive been there myself :)

Answer 10

who cares??!!! its not about the wedding or how its set up! the most important thing is that you're marrying the guy you love. it could be in a beautiful palace or in a dumpster but it still wouldn't make a difference because you're about to spend the rest of your life with your soulmate. I wouldn't worry about it too much. when your wedding day comes, all that really matters is that you and your husband are going to spend the rest of your lives together.