Okay, so I'd just gotten divorced and moved to another state. I met this guy - there was something different about him - I was completely drawn to him. He had trust & alcohol issues - so nothing really ever happened. I just saw him after 6 months - and he's miserable - I still feel drawn to him and I don't know why. Now I live 700 miles away but I can't stop htinking about him & what we could have had.
I love my boyfriend - I know things would never work out with the other guy - so why can't I get him out of my head? Maybe there was just no closure & I'm still heartbroken that he chose not to trust me - it felt like a slap in the face - but STILL.... I don't want to think about him. What should I do?
2007-04-06 05:53:40 · 8 answers · asked by Roland'sMommy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can't talk to my boyfriend about how I feel - I just found out that his ex-girlfriend had some kind of affair with this guy a long time ago. So....you see, it's not an option - it would be like throwing it in his face. My boyfriend knew how much I cared about this guy - but he's basically the ONE person in this whole world I'm not allowed to feel anything for.
2007-04-06 06:12:44 · update #1
Just to clarify - the three of us worked together - bad idea, huh. Anyway, this guy has a history of spreading his seed, shall we say. I think I got sucked in because he seemed like he really wanted to end all of that.
2007-04-06 06:14:00 · update #2
You're right - I do find guys that need to be rescued. My boyfriend used to have an alcohol problem - he's stopped drinking now. I guess it's a pretty powerful feeling when someone changes their life becuase of your influence.
2007-04-06 06:15:44 · update #3
No offence, but it sounds almost like you found someone you could "rescue". If you managed to help him, he'd be indebted to you and hopefully would not want to leave you in gratitude.
I don't know the situation of your divorce, but that is the feeling I get from your question. I would suggest you look back at your past relationships. If you seem to have a tendency to gravitate to the guys with issues, then maybe it's time to examine your own state of mind.
2007-04-06 06:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never will if he is your soul mate. You will never be able to fully give your heart to another person. I say this from experience. But for me the love of my life and I found each other again and are now married and have a daughter. Maybe if you went back to him and went through counseling. Good luck!!!!
2007-04-06 06:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you hit the nail on the head with the 'slap in the face' comment. No one likes to feel belittled and by 'getting' him you would undo the damage to your ego.
Don't be heartbroken (insecure). Be annoyed at his rejection. Who the he!! does he think he is anyway? Forget him honey, you're better than that.
2007-04-06 06:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by Duck in the woods 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting your thoughts about him only feeds them.
When they arise, allow them to float by like on a stream.
Eventually they will vanish on thier own.
You trying to make them go away only creates focus on them.
If you love your present boyfriend and feel safe with him then why not share your hurt and frustration about this other man.
It will help to release it.
2007-04-06 06:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by ontheroadagainwithoutyou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably feeling bad for his issues. You have a boyfriend you need to focus more on him and not worry about this other guy and his issues.
2007-04-06 05:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by diamoniquejazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reason not working out from your BF because you kept thinking about your ex... and that what cause it.. and if you don't believe me ask your boyfriend and he will tell you same thing..
2007-04-06 05:59:08 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be others. Light a blunt and smoke your troubles away.
2007-04-06 05:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you think you can "fix" him ... and then he will fall in love with you for it ... and then pay for you, and knock you up
2007-04-06 06:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋