My 6 yr old & I had a bad experience with an unprofesional dentist yesterday--now shes tramatized--what to do?

Question

She has only been a few times but not here, the man actually used profanity during our first conversation together--right in front of her he casually used the words hell and ****. she was nervous about the procedure and began to cry about what was about to happen. When he tried to give her the shot she bit down on the needle.when repeated attemps to coax her into opening failed he started screaming (literally screaming) at her to open her mouth. I immediatley ended the visit and told him about his ridiculous bedside manner and how he should not at all be working with children. Before we made it out of the office another mother was asking the secretary if that was the dr. screaming like that, when she found out that it was, she left with her small child. Now my little girl is traumatized and still has a decayed tooth.I would like to tell on him for his bad behavior but I don't know who to go to. Please Help

Answer 1

The trick is to find the RIGHT dentist. There are some wonderful children's dentists with all kinds of kid-worthy appeal. Going to the dentist has never been easy, but trust me its improved leaps and bounds over the years. When I was little my mother took us to a dentist who used no novacaine or gas (although other dentists used it), and was constantly drilling my baby teeth.....I was horrified of then and even today I look at that building with a shudder, however you get one permanent set of teeth, there is nothing like your OWN teeth! A great children's dentist could alay your fears and your daughters fears, go to their offices, meet them and their staff, get references from other parents....disliking the dentist is pretty universal among kids and adults, but as I like to say they are an "evil necessity".

Answer 2

I am somewhat confused; you say she has only been to see the dentist a few times. At six she should be going regularly for cleanings and checkups. So she should be familiar with “her dentist, assistant and hygienist," why did she see someone else for this simple procedure?

You really weren't very specific about what exactly it is that has "traumatized" your child. All children and adults too for that matter "do not" enjoy getting an injection. From what I've read, it sounds like a typical situation of "a parent being in the operatory, when they should have been in the lobby. Thus allowing the dentist and his assistant the opportunity to work with the child, having their full attention, rather than trying to comfort one who's "acting out" because a parent is in the room. Most parents do not help any by staying, but actually make matters worse. A lot of dentist will not allow the parents to come back with the child for this very reason.

I'm sorry, but a six year old is “too old” to be as noncompliant as you‘ve portrayed your daughter here while blaming a dentist who hasn‘t preformed ANY work on your child. This child probably hasn't experienced anything before at the dentist that should make her fearful. So really, the only fear that she "could have" is derived from “what she’s been told or heard” about dentist from people who've given their embellished horror stories about their own procedures preformed.

Most parents and people just don’t realize what they are doing when someone mentions “The Dentist.” It seems that everyone has a “story of sorts” and it’s always “unpleasant” or (as one patient told me) the most “painful experience” they’ve ever had to live through, and thought that they weren’t going too, or they would rather die than go through that again!

So most of a child’s “fear” is well established long before they ever see a dentist, yet we are blamed for their misbehavior. Would you willingly sit, where one of your parents had been, knowing that you were going to be "hurt" as they had been, if you remained? I don't think so, yet people wonder why children are afraid. Now, we are just trying to do “our job,” which is to help you with your dental health, and parents wonder “what WE’VE done to cause this behavior” in their child. I have to laugh at this because it’s something that is so text book for us. We’ve all had a few children that have behaved this way, or one’s that we’ve sent to a specialist or rescheduled, so we can allow for more time to work with the child in overcoming this fear. It’s usually always the parents or a family member that have initiated this fear of dentistry with their children.

I'm not making excuses for this dentist, but I am letting you know that this is not a unique situation. There is no excuse for the “use of profanity or screaming” in front of a child. The only thing I can imagine is the situation must have really had him frustrated for profanity to be used and the screaming may have been to be heard over your daughter's protest. You must understand that we use very sharp instruments that can cause serious damage to them or to us, if a patient is jumping around uncontrollably. So my suggestion would be to return to your regular dentist that your child is familiar with and have this work completed under less stressful conditions. Discuss this with your dental office so that they may set up an appointment for her to come in without having "any work" scheduled for completion. This will allow the dentist to gain her trust again and hopefully be able to complete her procedures at a later date. As for “what to do,” I would suggest “you do nothing and say nothing” that may keep this last visit with the dentist fresh in her mind so that her regular dentist can work with her through this before it becomes a lifelong fear with your child. I hope I’ve been of some help and I’m sorry to be so blunt with this, but sometimes that’s what it takes to halt a problem before it gets out of hand. Having a fear of the dentist at her age can only be detrimental to her lifelong dental health, put an end to it now while you can. Good luck.

Answer 3

I understand how you feel. I am an adult and recently, I was tramatized by a verbally abusive dentist. He actually made me cry. I couldn't think of anything but his abusive behavior for a whole week. I don't want to explain too much about it. It is hard to find good dentists, but it is not impossible. Your daughter needs to see a dentist, so make an appointment with a different dentist. Most dentists are not abusive. Tell your daughter that the dentist she visited had mental problems and not all of them are like that. Actually, there are some dentists who work only with children and are trained for it.

Answer 4

Some children will not cooperate no matter who sees them. Seek out a pediatric specialist in your area if your child is hyper and prone to tantrums, especially now that she has only one bad experience and is traumatized. Or call offices and ask straight out if the dentist likes working with children and tell them about her first experience. No dentist wants to deal with a crying child and will only say yes if they truly are good with children. Have the dentist use nitrous to calm your child. In my office we use nitrous and have a flat screen t.v. in the ceiling blaring cartoons which works well in diverting attention.

Answer 5

Explain to her that not all dentists are like that...see if you can find a new dentist and have him spend some time with her at a park or something (my dentist does this with kids that go to his office) so she can see he/she is a fun person....let the dentist do some simple things that will not hurt and reward her for being good and brave at the dentist

Answer 6

Going to the dentist is usualy a trama ,even for grown up's
She will get over it , but will always be a bit shy of dentistssssss

Answer 7

Well, details would have been nice.
So, report the dentist to the American Dental Association:

http://www.ada.org/

Answer 8

That would depend on what had tramatized your 6 year old.

Answer 9

Tramatized...What the hell did the dentist do lmaoooo

Answer 10

MELISSA,

THE TRUTH IS NOT ALL CHILDREN LIKE ALL DENTISTS. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TAKE HER TO A FEMALE PEDIATRIC DENTIST.
IT'SIMPORTANT THAT THIS VERY NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE BE ADDRESSED NOW BEFORE PHOBIAS DEVELOP.